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I don't want to post this on your walls because I know you have enough going on and don't want to get in the way or make it worse so I'm going to leave it here and you can just see it when you're ready. I've been asked not to mention names anymore so I won't and I get it but yeah hopefully you will know who you are. I'm sure you will cause you're my two closest friends on here but anyway. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't been around for you recently and I'm sorry for putting so much pressure on you to be around and I'm sorry I didn't set boundaries that lead to burning you out and making things worse for you. I'm really sorry and I should have never relied on you the way I did because it wasn't fair on you and I truly am sorry. I just want you to both know I think the world of you and am so grateful for the support you have shown me. It's meant a lot and I just want you both to know that. I know I put extra pressure on one of you recently and I hate myself so much for it because you were hurting too and I just kept trying to get us all to avoid it when I know that doesn't work for everyone and was not a smart idea. I really am sorry and I hope you can forgive me. Your feelings are so valid and you should talk about them as they come up because it's important. You are both so strong and courageous to wake up and battle this shit everyday and I'm sorry I made the battle harder. I hope that one day things are better for you both. And to anyone else reading this, I'm also sorry. I often forget this is public and I would jump on and assume I was in a private chat half the time cause it was always the same few supports replying. So I'm sorry if I ever caused anyone reading this any distress or grief. That truly wasn't my intention and I'm sorry. I've learnt it's not safe to share what I do and I'm sorry. I wish for anyone out there reading this to please speak up and seek help if you need it. Don't avoid it. If it hurts, it hurts. Acknowledge it, talk about it and do the best you can to heal from it because you deserve to feel some kind of happiness and relief. Don't be like me. It doesn't end well. Anyway, I'm sorry again to the two of you, and to everyone else who has been reading. Thanks for just being such an incredible and supportive community. You truly are all uniquely amazing. Don't ever forget that 💙