Hi @justkeepswimming, I hope you're doing well ❤️
I'm glad that you've found a kind and trustworthy GP that you're comfortable talking with. I want to reassure to you that your mental and physical health struggles are 100% valid, so I hope you can consider this a safe space to let everything out. It's never easy to be completely open and honest with new people and especially professionals. When you say you can't talk about certain things yet, do you mean you're not completely comfortable with your psychologist yet?
Please remember that you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of when talking to your GP about requesting for medication - your mental health is just as important as your physical health. You're in a situation where you're struggling with intrusive thoughts which can be so difficult to deal with in everyday life, and suicidal ideation is never something you should feel like you need to hide from anyone. It is a completely valid aspect of your health that needs to be addressed, and that you should feel no shame in addressing. I think maybe it could be worthwhile to think about the things holding you back from opening up to your psychologist and GP, does it stem from insecurity, fear of awkwardness, not trusting your new psychologist yet?
I'm really happy to hear that the relationship you have with your KHL counsellor is helping you out right now, have you talked to her about your struggle with bringing up medication and opening up with your psychologist?
Medication can be a scary thing to consider and think about, but people use medication for a variety of health conditions, and mental health conditions are no exception. It really helped me out to think about it this way. Once the conversation starts, the information you receive from your health professionals is often very reassuring, and I hope you gain peace of mind with the idea of it if it is something you wish to try.
I hope you're taking care of yourself as much as you can. Good luck with the phone call with your counsellor tomorrow, I'd love to hear how it went.
- Bella 🙂
