It's taken me a long time to finally make a few good friends
But i still constantly doubt if they actually like me
I feel like, I've spent the last few years just trying to survive depression, which has meant I didn't have the energy for making friends. but not feeling like i had friends due to isolation and negative thoughts just made depression worse.
i just live in survival mode, so i don't think about doing things people my age do, like just mucking around and laughing.
don't know if any of this resonates with you
all the best, quality over quantity when it comes to friends