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Hi @Pearlallmighty, welcome to the forums! We are really glad that you reached out. 
 
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment and that things don't feel 'quite right' at home. I personally have OCD and I can definitely relate to your feelings of guilt and exhaustion - it can be very tiring when your mind is trying to play tricks on you. Have you ever spoken to a counsellor or a psychologist about these feelings that you think could be OCD? 
 
I'm sorry to hear that you've struggled with self-harm in the past, but I'm also glad to hear that you've found other ways to manage those feelings. Does using the hair-tie help? 
 
I'm sorry to hear that life feels bad for you right now @Pearlallmighty, please know that we are here to support you and listen when things are feeling difficult ❤️