Hi @MB95 , I'm sorry to hear that things have become difficult with your parents. It sounds like you've tried to be as empathetic as possible towards your mum by trying to look at things from her point of view, but it's perfectly normal to sometimes get agitated in the heat of an argument too, especially when you're not feeling your best anyway.
I can definitely relate to your conflicting feelings about your parents. I live out of home too, and as much as I love having them come to visit because I love and miss them, it can be really overwhelming having them in my space for too long because now I'm used to living independently without their input. It can certainly be hard to talk about negative feelings towards our parents, but I can definitely see that you love them deeply so it's okay to let off some steam here ❤️
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling done with everything and sick of trying. What are you doing to cope with these feelings and your SH urges?
