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Ah yeah, that is not a fun cycle to be in!! I really feel for you ❤ Night time is the WORST! I swear it's like there is some kind of rule about watching triggering stuff at night and then also when we are sad to make ourselves even more sadder? Makes total sense hey?! 🤦‍♀️ I'm wondering if maybe by watching the triggering stuff it is helping you feel somewhat connected at those crazy times of day when no one is around? Like does it maybe make you feel like someone understands? And that how you're feeling is being validated somehow? Idk. Just a thought? I'm also wondering if by watching triggering stuff it helps you to let out some of the emotion that you otherwise struggle to let out? Idk. Like I know sometimes when I watch triggering stuff it's because I want to find someone the same as me or because I really need to cry or something and it's the only way I physically can? Is to trigger myself? Like it's usually not great but at least I've cried right? Or not cried but feel worse but not alone? Idk if this is making any sense sorry. But if it is, I'm wondering if maybe you can relate a little to some of that? 

 

Is there anything in particular that you feel is making you feel bad? Like any triggers you can identify? Or do you just feel bad? Cause there doesn't need to be a trigger which I'm sure you already know. Sometimes we just feel bad for no reason and that can SUCK!!! 

 

Remind me.. you're in lockdown yeah? But like you can leave the house sometimes or something? Or are you not in lockdown? I'm just trying to remember sorry, my memory is garbage!! But I'm wondering if there is something that might help to motivate you to get out of the house? 

 

Sending you BIG hugs baby sloth. It sounds like you're really not in a good place. I am here and listening if you want to talk 💙 Or if I am too much and you want a break from me and to talk to someone else I am also happy to leave you be so you just say okay? I'm thinking of you ❤

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