Hahaha okay, I just needed to get the giggles out there about what your drawings might look like right now - the guidelines one gave me a good laugh 😂 Man I have missed you these past couple days. Anyway we won't add that to your squiggly ball of emotions! But you truly do have the greatest sense of humour! You know what, seems you're so great at drawing I reckon you should draw us breaking the guidelines and boundaires for shit and giggles. I just feel like that would be a true representation of our chats lol But like also tip toeing around them and trying so hard not to but always failing? 😂
Anywayyy.. now for the serious stuff. Switching into mumma sloth mode here. Hold up two secs..gotta get my wise hat on..
I know I'm being stupid here but if I can bring some sort of a tiny smile to your face right now I will! Even if that makes people become concerned for my wellbeing 😂 Let's hope this hat helps me out here cause I'm really not in a great way myself so gonna need all the hippy magic rainbow sparkle we can get!!
Okay moving on.. I'm getting rather tangential here sorry and can totally see this is gonna turn into a novel. In case you're wondering, I have now learnt to respond to your posts in the auto save part so whooo now you get the full blown MB experience!! Buckle up baby sloth, I think we're in for a bit of a bumpy ride here with the dodgy advice but we shall give it a red hot crack!
It sounds as though you are feeling rather invalidated and unheard? Which is feeding your thoughts, feelings and emotions? Would I be somewhat right in saying that? (Do correct me if I'm wrong hey! I mean seriously, you gotta help a mumma sloth out here cause if her advice is off then she's gonna have to find herself a new gypsy magic carpet and hat so this is serious business here. You let me know okay?).
Betrayal, anger and shame honestly have to be some of the biggest, shittiest, ugliest, most uncomfortable horrible feelings to sit with. And that's when they are on their own. Chuck them all together and it makes a perfect recipe for emotional pain and disaster so it's no wonder you are feeling the way you are right now. Would you agree? ❤
It sounds like maybe things with your mum were on more of a fun-play type level at first but then that maybe (here goes, ya ready for me to whip out the big old B word here?! You totally knew it was coming.. ya ready?! I'm not..) some boundaries were crossed unintentionally because the fun-like situation made things seem like they were okay until they just weren't? I'm not sure if I've explained that right there? But I obviously don't know what happened. But just from what you've said here it sounds like everything was all kind of playful and fun to start with but then turned pretty quickly? It sounds like whatever your mum was saying at the time or insinuating was upsetting you and that your response was to use cheekiness to cope? And that's totally okay! It sounds like it was actually okay for the both of you and helped to create some laughter but then for some reason things changed? I think it's great that you spoke up and asked her why she was saying such upsetting things to you, you have a right to know and put her in her place. Like I obviously have no clue what was said but it sounds like it was quite distressing for you so you have every right to bring it up. Do you think maybe she wasn't ready for it and was feeling somewhat confronted by you asking? Idk, I just know when my mum says things to me that are upsetting if I ever try call her out on it she literally just flies off the handle and turns it all back on me, and yeah sometimes maybe I do need to be pulled up on my actions too but quite often than not there has been absolutely no need or reason for her to treat me that way and say the things she does. I'm just wondering if a bit of this was happening the other day? And maybe she felt the need to get all defensive about it because she didn't know how else to respond? And quite possibly knew she was in the wrong but tried to make you feel like it was your fault by saying you were faking it and that your pain is all in your head? (Which we both know is 500% NOT the case!!!). I am in absolute NO WAY trying to make excuses for your mums actions here. No way at all. She hurt you, that is clear. Whether it was emotionally or physically, or both, they are just as bad as one another and I'm so sorry that she hurt you. I was just trying to maybe work out why she reacted that way. And the only thing I've really got it that maybe she felt cornered with your questions and the easiest way to save herself from feeling terrible was to lash out at you? Idk. I'm really sorry if I'm way off here. Anyway that's that. What's more important is how YOU are feeling about it all.
It doesn't sound like you intended to hurt your mum in any way. I'm fact it kinda sounds like you were trying to go to her for some love and support and connection but didn't quite get what you were hoping for? Idk, I'm I remotely warm? (I feel like I need to find another thrift shop and but some new wise sloth attire cause this isn't quite sorting here. I'm so sorry 🤦♀️) It just really sounds like maybe you were needing your mum's support and got quite the opposite? So its no wonder you had a meltdown. You've had SO MUCH going on for you emotionally, alot of which I am almost certain you have been keeping off the forums, so it is no wonder the interaction with your mum ended in lots of tears. Mothers are supposedly meant to 'nuture' us and make us feel better and when they don't, we'll quite frankly it's just damnright shit hey? So of course that triggered the tears!! It sounds like you just needed her to comfort you and let you know things would be okay, when quite frankly she did the complete opposite? (Again, correct me if I'm wrong).
