Okay.. imma try my absolute best to keep this to a one post response 🤦♀️ Sorry.. I got a little carried away yesterday! I just missed you and hated hearing how shit things were for you and that you felt invalidated and yeah. It just didn't sit well with me knowing baby sloth wasn't okay. But I'm relieved you think the novels are great and managed to get through them 😂😂😂
It sounds like maybe boundaires were crossed both ways with you and your mum unintentionally and in a jokey way which then maybe lead to an escalation of emotions on both ends? It's so hard when things start off fun and silly but then turn bad. If it helps at all, the same happens a lot between my sister and I and it's always a challenge trying to work out what went wrong. I know this is TERRIBLE advice but the only thing that I often finds works with us is to take time away after the argument to cool off and then after a good while we will randomly just start talking again? It's not a great strategy because it always leaves me still feeling really shitty and struggling to act like it never happened but you know how much I love to avoid serious talk so yeah. Just seems to be the way we deal with it. Good old avoidance (my middle name, comes after boundary breaker). But I'm gonna go against what I actually do, and suggest maybe sitting down with your mum at some stage? Obviously when you're both feeling somewhat calm and open to discussing things without it becoming heated (not the easiest thing, I know). But like maybe letting her know about how you really didn't appreciate it that she kept going when you asked her to stop? And that in the future you'd like her to stop when you say it the first time? Like, obviously just be careful with the tone and word it so it doesn't sound like you're 'attacking' her about it. What is it that they call it? Like use I statements or something? "When this happens.. I feel this.."? Something like that? Sorry, my brain is a fog atm so I'm completely winging the dribble here 🤦♀️ But I feel like you know what I'm talking about? It would have come up in your course at some stage hey? Or maybe not? Idk. I know I've just learnt that everything seems to come down to communication (another word i hate and suck at 😂😂😂). But it could be worth giving it a crack?
Your mums responses to asking you how you are are quite random and confusing, I have to agree. Do you think maybe she is just unsure of how to have those conversations? Like I am in no way sticking up for your mum here, because I really dont like the way she asks you to shut up after asking how you are and stuff, like that sends such mixed messages BUT I do think it's an achievement in itself that she actually does check in to ask how it's going. I'd kill for my parents to ask so I truly think that is something special you should hold onto. I can completely appreciate that she maybe doesn't check-in the right way and quite possibly tries but then makes things worse? But it does sound like she is trying so how would you feel about maybe trying to help her out with that by letting her know what things do and don't help that she says? Like maybe even writing her a letter if you feel that trying to verbalise all this stuff is going to be hard and not end so well? I know when I told my parents about seeing a psych I wrote them a letter with the one my psych wrote them to try open the discussion and well we know how that turned out ahahaha But I did find writing was the only way it was going to happen. So could be an option? To let her know what you do and don't appreciate? What are your thoughts about that?
I also don't think it's that you're not an easy person to live with. I think it's more just the fact that your needs are not being met the correct way so opening up that conversation with her could help? I'm not sure though and I hope that doesn't sound like I was attacking your mum there cause I know how much you hate that and I even feel weird mentioning her name so much here sorry 🙃 I'm just hoping some of what I said helped.
Lovin' the wise sloth! 😂😂😂
I was gonna just brush over your response about me, and well I kinda still am cause that doesn't matter. But I just thought I'd leave this here for a laugh cause when I saw it I immediately thought of us!! 😂😂😂
Whooooo!!! I got some sentiment *cue the happy dance* ahahaha Nah, I'm glad some of the nonsense I wrote helped in some way but don't go freaking yourself out over it! Lol
I am also SO VERY PROUD of you for booking an appointment with your psych!! And the fact its face to face makes me so happy to hear cause I feel like phone ones are just never the same? Or it that just me? Idk. Is there something you might be able to do that could help her to notice you're falling apart? Cause I know you've been known to also be a lot like your mumma sloth in the past when things are really not okay and go in and fake it and not open up when you really should and then left feeling even worse because she didn't notice? Hmm.. sounding familiar? I'm just wondering if there is something you might be able to do in advance to help avoid this happening? Cause it sounds like you really need her support right now and I'd hate for you to not get it because you're trying to be all brave and closed off! I mean maybe you're feeling ready to talk it all out? Idk. But if not, what about writing a letter or drawing a pic or something for her to help break the ice and dive into the deep and meaningful shit? 😂 (gross and scary? Oh I know girl!!). Also, what's making you think or feel like she is going to abandon you? Anything in particular? Or just the general fear?
Hmm.. it's kinda a no-go zone today lol I think I'm having complete second thoughts about it all now 😂 I feel like if I don't just do it when I'm feeling somewhat on board then it's never going to happen and well let's just say I'm not exactly on board anymore. More paranoid 🙃 But it is what it is!
Omggggg, what on earth did I do to deserve 2 lots of sentiment in one message?! Wowza! Something isn't right here.. are you okay? Do we need to take your obs? 😂😂😂 I mean, I'm loving it and appreciating it but also knowing that probs sent you into a minor heart attack so just wanna check in you're okay? Lol
Anywayyy.. lets see if this is under the word limit and makes the publishing cuts! 🤞
P.S. how has today been? Feel like checking in with me on a 1-10? (1 being absolutely not okay and 10 being amazing)
*does a 10 even exist?* 🤔
