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Hey @MB95, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so upset, weird and suicidal. They must be really difficult emotions to sit with. It sounds like things are really intense and confusing for you right now. There is a lot of ambivalence going on and it seems like you are trying your best to make sense of what is happening. I can really hear that the empathetic and caring parts of yourself have been impacted by this recent this loss in your community. Just so you know, I have sent you through an email.