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Sorry to hear that you are feeling bad at the moment @Eden1717 . It sounds like it your last session with your psychologist was tough for you. I think it was really great that you reached out to a helpline last night, although I'm sorry to hear that you were unable to get through. Is there anyone else that you feel like you could talk to about how you are feeling? You mentioned that death is an option  for you, so I wanted to ask whether you are feeling safe at the moment?