Hey@justkeepswimming
I feel really sorry for you because I've been through a really similar thing recently. It can be so overwhelming and surviving can seem impossible.
You're so amazing to survive. I don't think most people understand how hard it can be to get through a day. But it can be really hard. So well done on surviving each day.
I went through high school with straight A's, even though I was really depressed and suicidal. So I understand people not realising how bad you are because you seem ok on the outside.
I'm sorry ur going through that. It really sucks.
But please know your pain is valid and you deserve help, even if people can't see what you're going through!
like other people have said, I think it's great you've been proactive and rung KHL, it's easier said than done.
I know it can be hard just seeing a GP. I got so anxious in the lead up to apps.
I really doubted if my struggles were real, or if I was making them up. Which discouraged me from getting help.
My depression diagnosis just didn't seem to describe how bad I was.
My GP was good, but he just didn't have the knowledge of a psychiatrist.
I can def recommend seeing a psychiatrist. I really think it saved my life.
I was diagnosed with depression. Nothing helped, I just kept spiralling.
When I was able to see a psychiatrist (easier said than done because they're so busy and expensive), he diagnosed me with Bipolar 2. Which means depression was a misdiagnosis.
this meant I was able to receive medications that actually helped me. They've saved my life.
I know my parents were hesitant about me starting meds. But I was at the stage that I was willing to try anything!
Again, seeing a psychiatrist was really a game changer for me.
In my instance, I need meds because of my illness. A diabetic has a problem with their pancreas and needs insulin to survive. I have a problem with the chemistry in my brain and need meds to survive,
You never know what a psychiatrist will be able to tell you. Maybe you are misdiagnosed, maybe you aren’t. But a psychiatrist is able to confirm that.
But getting the right diagnosis can help you get the right treatment, which may include medication.
While medication has helped me a lot, it is not a cure. I stil have a lotttttt of work to do. Which is where seeing a psychologist is really important. My apps are like a month apart, which feels like too long for me, but she's busy. So I try to help myself in between. I've found some great books addressing what we've talked about. I journal heaps to try to understand myself. I research coping strategies. I'm trying to get better at talking so I feel less alone. And of course, this forum is a great source of info and encouragement!
At the same time, don’t give up hope! It’s easier said than done, but if you’re patient you might be able to see someone one day.
Some helpful affirmations I’ve found include:
You haven’t come this far to only come this far.
You’ve survived 100% of your worst days.
You’re stronger than you know.
Hope is real, change is possible. (Look up Jazz Thornton, she is amazing!)
I think seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist are so important. For some people, medication is essential, and there is nothing wrong with that. But at the same time, it's very understandable and valid to be worried about starting meds.
And even if you are unable to see a psychologist, you aren't completely helpless. There are still ways to help yourself!
sending you lots of love because u r doing amazing ❤️
