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Thank you so much for the reply. I am beyond grateful to not only have my experience and feelings validated but to also better understand what's going on in my head while I've been processing it. After reading what you've written I feel like I have a little more clarity. I completely understand that there is no easy way for me to process it all but knowing now that the uncomfortable feeling was because I've felt I was taken advantage of gives me a little peace because I can identify my emotions more clearly. I didn't really realise how much I've been running it through my head to trying to piece it together, thinking that I needed all the details and to know if it was my fault or not. I now feel like it's okay for me to let go of it a bit and to stop running through it all piece by piece as that is probably a large part of the problem of me struggling to cope. I know I'll still have my bad days but everything you've written has been really helpful. I really appreciate it thank you heaps.