(just quickly if you don’t want to read this long ass post, just scroll to the bottom, I think you need to hear it)
Now, where was I?
I’ve mentioned before that I am a “product of my context”. This is a term that my English literature teacher in year 12 used to drill into us, it was meant to help explain the character’s tendencies in terms of their experiences. I didn’t think much of this until I started to realise just how true it was.
I often find myself mirroring behaviours that I have seen from my family (which if you have read my earlier posts you can probably see how this is a problem) or I’ll find myself in a spiral of negative self talk because everything I see or hold onto is being ripped apart.
I see this acknowledgment as the first step in many, I acknowledge the fact that I can even recognise these things as issues.
However, it is one thing to recognise our subconscious behaviours but it is an entirely different thing when we start to work on these things. Now that is a whole other kettle of fish…
I’ve always wanted to be a mother, I believe it would be such a beautiful and rewarding experience to be able to provide a small and beautiful life the love and care that it deserves and to watch as they grow and learn. This drives me to fix my “context” if I don’t fix my subconscious then the issues that I have acquired from my traumas will probably impact my children. That thought terrifies me, and drives me to become the best version of myself. I strive to give my future children the life I never had.
I will keep pushing and I hope you will too, because you’re worth it, you are enough and everything you need to conquer this big bad world is already right there inside you. You are strong enough, smart enough, attractive enough, capable enough. Bottom line is; you are enough, whether you believe that or not, I do, because if I can push through my issues, you sure as hell can. I believe in you xx good luck in that big bad world :))
