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@StormySeas17 thank you so much for your advice and help, it just means so much to me to know I have people to talk to even if I don't actually know them. I would feel better reconnecting with them but it's a bit hard because as mentioned before I haven't seen one of them (B) for serveral months now and I have no contact details of him. And I'm not really sure how to reconnect with (J) as it almost feels like he's another world away. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated and if possible maybe check out my other posts to get more of an understanding of my situation. Thanks