Hi @Lost_Space_Explorer5 and thank you so much for replying! Yeah, I suppose I'm pretty depressed about all my hopes and dreams not happening or I suppose in the way I would like it to. I think it's just that I've been feeling this way for so long now it's starting to really hit me. Yes I did graduate uni and I'm super amazed I did that and I'm really proud of myself for pushing through it even with covid.
I just don't want to deal with anxiety anymore. I want to be a confident person who can visit places and countries by myself and meet new people without having that fear of them judging me. But at the moment that is such a daunting idea for me as I am really not confident in myself. The constant chest pain I get is so awful every morning, I also start shaking at work now for no reason, it's horrible. The only thing that helps me is trying to keep myself doing something all the time or I'm basically left with my thoughts.
I think that's a part of the reason I stay to myself most of the time, people just stop talking to me and they never say why. It's always heartbreaking and mentally exhausting and painful to always go through that. I don't know why he stopped though, we expressed how we felt about each other when we went out and I thought we were on the same page and had so much in common like I don't know what I did. It makes me feel like such an idiot for opening up to him.
