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Hey@Crocidolite_Blue 

I've been down this path and it's terrifying because you feel so alone and helpless. Do you currently have support from anyone whether is be family, friends or professional? It's so important to have a system of support around you, almost like a cocoon to soften the blow of these panic attacks. I've had them to your extent and it's excruciating. I'm so sorry that the pain is so bad it's making you cotemplaye your life.@Courtney-RO has already linked what I would have done myself. Intrusive thoughts can further agitate the severity of these thoughts so it's really important you speak to someone you are comfortable with just so there is some sort of safety net. The fact you took the courage to share your situation tells me in my heart that there is hope and where there is life, a worthy life. One you deserve to live to the fullest. Remember we are all here for you at your highest and lowest 💜

Take care please, you are worth it.