Hi @Blurryphaced
It must be overwhelming when all these existential angst are darting towards you and leaving you numb, confused and lost.
I'm sorry to hear that you feel isolated and are trapped in a "bubble of silence looking out at a world full of noise" (as @Anonymous pointed out, this is an amazing sentence!). It's totally valid to feel out of place when we're comparing ourselves to our perceptions of what "others" are doing. It's also tempting to treat what "others" are doing as the norm and invalidate our own values, desires and beliefs - as seeing is believing. And I totally agree with @Anzelmo as well in regards to our perception of what the norm is - when all we do tend to see is what extroverts are doing. I thinking, and believe genuinely, that different people having different definitions of meaning in life, which are shaped by our values, family, environment, preferences, etc. - all of which are things that are unique to us. The fact that you are already asking this question of "what does it mean to be ..." shows that you are very intelligent and inquisitive. However, it's a question that only you can answer, as the answer differs for each and every one of us. We are all incomplete and complete at the same time.
It might be daunting to start answering this big question. However there are some steps that you can take. You can identify what things that you like to do (which you already have). There's nothing wrong with watching children's cartoon, reading, going on walks or browsing on the internet (I love children's cartoons too btw!). Doing simple things, in the absence of the grand meaning, can be enjoyable. Meaning can also emerge from simple things you do to. In a way you don't need a top-down approach, and a bottom-up approach is just as valid.
Lastly, I was wondering if you've ever heard of the term "asexuality"? Sexuality can be confusing too. Might to worthwhile to explore what that is.
Thanks heaps.
