Hey @Anzelmo
Thanks for checking in, sorry I’m super slow at any replies lately
The email thing has been going good. My psychologist likes it too. It gives us something to start with, and it’s how I most freely express myself.
Think freezing is related to not trusting people, just not used to talking.
It’s so hard to give myself permission to help myself. Permission to have a better day. Permission to relax.
Haven’t used those exact words with my psychologist (probably something to put in the next email). But have briefly talked about just these beliefs I seem to have about not deserving to feel better. Am yet to get to the bottom of that.
I know I don’t want to feel like this. I know I need to help myself. But my mind very strongly tells me the opposite. So it’s harder to help myself when it feels wrong. But then I feel bad for not helping myself.
Confusingggg
She said more than one emotion can exist at the same time. Guess that principle applies to that situation
Mindfulness vs dissociation is so hard.
And I have a new little cousin born yesterday! First little cousin. Flying out tonight to meet him.
Just sucks I can’t actually feel genuinely excited/happy yet.
There’s no way I’m telling my family because that would upset them and I don’t want that.
So time to fake my emotions again 🙂
Hopefully that changes, although I not like my track record. But maybe I’ll surprise myself.
Hope everyone is having a good day 🙂
