Thanks @Bre-RO, @Anzelmo, and @ ayrc_1904 for you replies and validation, I really appreciate the support guys, and nice to see I'm still remembered. There were some good tips and life experience, it's good to know that others have had and dealt with these kinds of issues too, and it's true that the vibes are not the greatest/fake/tense. I have just started online therapy with a counselor this week, the last counselor I had was in person and we didn't really click, well most of the time I just felt like I was being spoken to about things I already knew and not encouraged to express myself to find the real issues. But that's another topic, the online counselor seems nice though. My housemate is really into the 16 personality types theory; they're an INFP and I'm an INFJ and apparently those two types are least compatible with each other, but then I don't really like putting too much faith in personality quizzes. How accurate is that personality quiz, does anyone here know? It is said to be one of the more researched ones with some science behind it. I do know that my housemate didn't have the most ideal upbringing either, as apparently their parents argued a lot while they were growing up, and they have some inner work to do too, however it's still not nice the way they treat me most of the time. So we did have a talk about the letting the dog in the other day (my housemate said they were hurt and essentially felt like I "owed them" since I was living there and they had been so nice to me by letting me rent out a room), and in the end we both said we were sorry and apparently everything was ok again, but it doesn't really feel ok, like all our conversations are really generic and I can tell my housemate isn't really interested in my day, even though they ask about it, I feel overlooked and unheard. It's been like that since I moved in really, they just come across as a really fake person, I don't know how else to say it. Their family kind of has a reputation for taking in "charity cases", that is they see someone in need and help them out but it's not with pure motives, it's for the oh look I'm doing the right thing look, and they always carry an air of superiority about them, and it shows up in their conversation, like they always know something better than you do. Basically I really don't feel respected by my housemate, like they might ask how my day was and I could literally tell them I went to the doctor and got a blood test, or I went out do coffee today and it was cold and I got drenched and their response would be like "oh nice!" (Mindlessly) like why ask me in the first place if all you're going to do is give a generic response? I try to be interested in them and what they have to say, but it gets draining when it's one sided. Or also if I'm talking about something that I'm interested in and or have a bit of knowledge about, they will speak to me as though I don't know hardly anything about that topic, I guess patronizing is how to describe their manner of conversation. Or say I am talking about something I want to do, for instance the other day I was talking about how I would like to learn the violin because it's an instrument I love and something I've always wanted to do, and then they start saying that the violin is really hard to learn and it's impossible unless you have a good ear to hear pitch, and that it's the most difficult instrument. They don't directly tell me that I shouldn't try, but they don't make it sound very appealing either, and the thing is I know that they actually tried to learn the violin and gave up, but just cause they couldn't doesn't mean they should make it discouraging for me, like I'm discouraged enough already and it's so hard for me to work up the courage to find something I like and actually do it cause I never feel worthy or like I even should be enjoying anything (from my upbringing) so anyway that's my rant about that. Also whenever I'm in a group with my housemate and their friends and ideas are being discussed, I'll say something and it's like no-one acknowledges or hears me, but then soon after I've said my idea my housemate will say pretty much the same thing and claim it as their original idea and everyone else in the group is like yeah that's a great idea, you're so smart and I'm there like I literally just said that two sentences ago and no-one gave me credit. Anyway that's me done for today, I do find it helps to get things off my chest here, cause I can be open and heard and understood, so thanks people 😊😪
