@xXLexi_Lou122Xx Yeah I'm new here! Really loving it so far, such a kind and caring community. So, lovely to meet you too!
Mmm it sounds like you feel like being 100% open could lead to trouble, and that saddens me greatly because you deserve to be able to talk and get things off your chest. I hope you do find someone you can confide in without fear.
The fact that your wellbeing leader doesn't check in on you is not okay - reaching out to GO sounds like a good idea. You could also let them know you're in need of more support just generally, and hopefully be able to hash it out with someone who will listen.
Glad to hear you have a supportive psych, and hope you can get some clarity around those physical experiences. Can be very scary so it's good to get that reassurance.
Totally get what you mean about feeling saddened by the music you create. It's good to get the emotions out, but can also become like a feedback loop by the sounds of it. Perhaps you could try to inject some of the feelings you want to feel more of into your music too? Create a piece about hopefulness or gratitude and see where it takes you. You might be surprised by what comes out.
Yo, I was an outcast ALL through high school so I feel that. And masking can get so very exhausting. You will totally find your niche! Sometimes the best way to do so is to slip the mask off and be unashamedly yourself - but even that can take practice to feel safe doing so. All in your own time, in your own way.
Sounds like you're on a great path, and I daresay things will get easier once you're out of school and can find your people. Hold on a bit longer, yeah? You are not a burden to have struggles that are too heavy to carry alone. I have felt like a burden many times in the past, but I found it helpful to remember times when I was providing support for others - very rarely, if ever, did I feel like those people were burdening me. So I highly doubt you are ever as much of a burden as your brain is telling you you are.