Hi @Rattata, thank you for sharing. That sounds like a tricky balance you're trying to manage, between supporting her and giving her space to have fun after what sounds like a busy year of uni, and wanting to communicate more with her, which is not easy when she is often out partying late. It's tough when you need someone to talk to after a rough day, and the person you reach out to doesn't engage in the way you need. It must be especially tricky when you know that the reason she is not responding is because she's out partying, as you don't want to "ruin" her fun night by telling her about what you're struggling with, but at the same time you are allowed to want to feel heard by your partner.
Has she told you how long her "party phase" usually lasts? Because if it is only a brief period (a week or 2) after finishing uni, then maybe you could manage your expectations for her communication in that time. However if it tends to last a bit longer (like until uni starts again next year), perhaps it is worth communicating with her how you feel when she seems to prioritise partying over spending time and communicating with you. Also if you feel comfortable, you may express some concerns about how healthy it is that she is partying so much. Given that you have described her as a workaholic, could it be that she doesn't know what to do with her free time now that she's finished with uni? You could suggest some activities the two of you could do together, to provide her with some structure and something to focus on, and to provide an opportunity for the two of you to communicate too.
From what you've written, you are really good at clearly articulating your feelings, you are very understanding of her point of view and it seems like you've been making good progress in therapy as well, so while I understand why you may be nervous about talking to her, if you show the insight and level of understanding you have shown here I think she will understand your point of view. It's not easy having relationship struggles, especially when I'm sure you've also had a busy year! I hope some of this advice helps and you are able to deal with the balance in communication with her more. Best of luck!
