This happend about a month ago i fucked up and lost basicly all my friends,  so it started on the school hollidays i wanted to hang out with them before school went back and before school started again i saw on there instagram (i just got insta again not to long before this happend so i was ofline for a long time) and snapchat storys that they all went to hang out like i dont mean like one or two of them.  It was basicly the whole group of them that went out and i didnt get asked,  and i know how pathetic i am for crying about this,  and i told my mum about it aswell,  then i was talking to one of them and i tryed to just ask it subtily becuse i didnt know how to ask,  but eventually i just came out and asked her it,  and she said they werent alowed to ask me to come becuse there parents didnt want me near them..  and it just hurt so much to hear that. I wasnt alowed near them at all outside of school i was only alowed near them druring school,  and at this point my mum was already getting my homeschooling stuff up so i couldnt see them at all,  so one day i was going to say "maybe we shouldnt be friends anymore" to them but i could hardly type those words and while i was trying to type those words i started crying like ive never done before and my mum heard me from the loundroom which was atlest 2 rooms away and when she came down i told her what was going on and then she got my phone and being the protectuve parent she was she was going off of my 2 ex friends and yeah she blocked them off of my acc but i unbloocked them the next day and i said we shouldnt be friends its best this was you dont want a suicidle friend,  a bad influence with you' or somthing like that,.  And even i said some mean stuff to them..  and i regret it so much i dont want to live without them they were like my family i miss them so much,  i miss talking to them,  hanging out with thwm..  i asked one of them really rudely "well why dont you go ask your mum why were not alowed to hang out anymore" becuse they didnt even know why.  Its all my fualt i want them back i wish i never asked why i wasnt invited out,  i just with i just lived with myself and not ask her,  they were one of my only reasons to live,  they helped me so much i dont know what to do anymore i want them back.  I want to say sorry but i have no means to contact them so i know im just going to have to live with this,  not seeing them again,.  And everytime i leave the house to go shoppong with mum i have really bad anxyity,  like what if i see thwm?  What will i do?  I dont know anymore...  ... View more

Ok so I don't know how to do this topic lol but I've always thourt I was bi and yeah but I think I'm a lesbian and I don't really know why but I just kinda feel sick and confused when I think that I am, but the signs are there that I am a lesbian since every time I've dated a male I've never brrn abke to stay in the relationship becuse I got to much anxyity and it mad me feel sick, but when I dated a gurl I didn't really feel any of that, and I've been questioning my gender to but idk, and again I'm not sure again if um a lesbaun since I staid it does kinda make me feel abit sick when I think about that and confused kinda, but then again I live reading BL comics (boy love) so um just so confused and aahh I don't know😅😅 ... View more

Sorry in advance to this it's very long :/   Okay so today I learned that sOmOnE in our friend group has been physically abusing my friends, I didn't know it got up to this point and I didn't know if was happening to a different friend but this is where all this stuff started, so like my friend H got a girlfriend N and she Was getting abused by N for about 3-6 months without us knowing what was happening, but thankfully H got out of it and told us everything about what was happening, and she felt so down and stuff and N sent her pictures of her self-ham and made drawings of herself hurting herself and telling her how we probably hated her and stuff, so we almost lost H as a friend but thankfully she's still our friend now(that was about near the end of last year)  and around the end of last year to the start of this year N went for another one of my best friends J and started emotionly abusing her the same way she was to H, and thankfully J new what she was doing but we still needed to talk to her about how N was a bad person (wich she hates her now bc of what she N has been doing lately)and J asked N not to sit with us bc she has other friends and she sent the messages to L and C to make it seem like she was the bad guy and N is the victim and then L got mad at J and H about it, and then there was a Minni fight, thankfully not as bad as the last fight we had and C already knew that N wasn't the victim bc J had already told C about what happened and now she is going after C so, it started as a play fighting like play punching and stuff like that until N has started to physically hurt her, I don't know to what extent but it's bad enough for C to be scared of N, N was doing the same thing she did to H when they were in a relationship, and C is starting to think like she should let it happen to her so she doesn't do it to anyone else, I only lernt about N hurting C today from J in pe today and I said we should get the school involved but we don't want the situation to escalate and we dont want then doing nothing like they did to me when ex-friends was threatening me online and I don't know what to do, I don't want my friends getting hurt and stuff but I don't know what to do  ... View more

For the last couple of days I've been wanting to Kms but I haven't yet and the feelings Are not getting any better and I've been thinking bout messaging a crises line thing but I feel as if tho what I'm feeling isn't good enough for that becuse I want to kill myself bit I know I'm not going to unless my friend give my stuff back but I hate myself as well becuse yesterday I physically harmed and threatend  both of my best friends to stay away from me (this was at school) I told them to leave me alone and I wanted to be alone and stuff but my friends didn't want me going Off bc in the last class I harmed myself without them knowing, bit anyways, they kept trying to keep me with them and when I would walk away THWY would follow me so when one of my friends J put her arm out to stop me from walking I bit her really hard and now there's a bruze on her arm and so did my other friend h when she tried to hug me, I understand they didn't want me to go off on my own but I was going to hurt them, I'm not trying to sound mean becuse I hate that I did I was just so angry with every one that I, Idk, yeah and I'm school I've been harming myself, I'm on medication but I feel like there not working bc I feel like I'm on the verge of ending my life,  I don't know who to talk to, becuse I don't want it make anyone upset and stuff, but I don't know, I don't know how to express myself in this I've deleted alot of it and Idk it's just really hard, and I'm sorry for it being so long if you even read it :p ... View more

Heyoo I just made this bc I was bored and wanted to talk to peole ... View more