@Janine-RO I might have to apply for extensions, I'll see how it goes. I'm hoping I feel better soon because I really want to finish my degree this year. Disturbed sleep (woke up from a bad dream in between, it was more irritating than scary). I woke up with a migraine. @Bananatime04 I listen to music (I do love NF) and use self-care. I try to exercise most days but I do have to be careful not to push myself too much (because of migraines and chronic mild swelling in hands and knees). Psychologically I'm feeling a little better, though I feel physically worse today than yesterday. ... View more

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx I hope you do find something that helps you, being in pain sucks, it drains you physically and emotionally. Hang in there <3. We will always be here. I think you should talk to the doctor about the shaking if its getting really bad. A lot of the doctors are taking phone appointments now. ... View more

@Bananatime04 I can relate to having poor body image. I know it's how hard it can be when you're always comparing yourself to others. I'm the sort of person who freaks out even when I have tiny blemishes on my face. I've also struggled with the fear of gaining weight. But I'm gradually working on my food intake because with training I need to eat more in order to maintain how little I weigh. I know it's sometimes hard to see to your strengths and where you shine. But you definitely have some. You're an awesome user to RO, and support others in the RO community :). In the end, we are only human and are all perfectly imperfect. All of us have flaws, even the perfect models on the magazine covers. But everyone is beautiful. I don't know if that helps, my brain feels really dead today. Hope you feel better soon <3. ... View more

@Tiny_leafy I'm sorry to hear about your experience at school. How are you feeling now? ... View more

@Andrea I think I do know someone who I could talk to. I've been thinking of talking to someone haven't gotten the chance yet. I've been doing some reading. It's still overwhelming, I think things have been a little more intense for the past two days. It's hard not to be occupied with dark thoughts. I know they are only thoughts, and I don't have to act on them. A part of me says I deserve to be punished, but then there is this other part of me saying it's not logical to feel ashamed if the past trauma wasn't my fault. But it's still uncomfortable. There is a sense of irritation, restlessness and uneasiness. I'm so behind with uni too and that doesn't help with the situation. ... View more

@Taylor-RO I have my psychiatrist, friends and family. But I often find it hard to reach out to others. I feel some people don't know what to do, I can feel the uneasiness of my parents. I have a friend, she won't stop me from talking about it and will listen but suggests I should talk to my psychiatrist (which is fair enough since she is a friend and isn't trained professional). I'm slowly opening up to my psychiatrist. Since I have trust issues it takes me a while to open up. It's also hard considering I've felt so disconnected from others, I'm trying to reconnect. I was in an unhealthy cycle of isolating and cutting myself off from the world. I've come to the realisation that we have so little control over a lot of things. It's a frightening realisation. I think that was the turning point. I had become so detached from people, my spirituality and at times myself. Even though I was still practising my faith, my heart still felt empty, like I wasn't really connected. I couldn't go on like that. I mean I grew up coming from an Islamic background and it's been a part of me since I was a kid. I've had ups and downs with faith, but I suppose that's a very normal experience. I've been searching for something to fill in the cracks of my brokenness but nothing really helped. So I've decided to reconnect. ... View more

@Andrea-RO thanks for the support :). It was really helpful. I really need to work on living life more mindfully and praying more mindfully. I can't even do simple things like sit down and enjoy my meals or have a fully focused relaxation shower. My mind is constantly on overdrive. I think I've become so used to being in flight and fight mode it's hard to relax. It's going to take time and patience to break free from this cycle. I do have a special necklace that I could focus on. ... View more

@Andrea-RO right now I think I just need to talk. I think it might be anxiety that's making me numb. On top of that, I woke up with a heavy head and don't feel well-rested despite sleeping last night. I think thinking about the past in the cause of anxiety. I hate to admit that I haven't gotten over past trauma. I've been trying to deepen my faith because I don't think I can turn to anything for a sense of security. But I'm still struggling and the past leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I want to go back to a time when things were simpler, but you can't go back and can only go forward. ... View more

@xXLexi_Lou1222Xx I'm sorry to hear nothing has worked for you and you're still struggling with a lot of pain. It might help to keep food and water beside you during the day and maybe ask for someone to bring your meals to you if you feel really sore. Try to take care of your mental health too, being in the current situation we are is stressful enough, but being in constant pain can make it harder. I find stress worsens my pain. Take some time for yourself, be gentle and take care of yourself (i.e. by engaging in self-care). I hope you feel better soon <3. ... View more

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx I will look at the other posts. Unfortunately, it can take a while until you can see a specialist. I also need to get ruled out for arthritis. At the moment I'm focusing on improving pain the best way possible. I think this tends to be very individual. For me, it's a lifestyle thing, like eating anti-inflammatory food (looking at the Mediterranean diet for inspiration) and consuming anti-inflammatory teas, exercise without pushing myself too much and drinking lots of fluids. Sometimes it's about finding what helps you. I really do hope you get to see the rheumatologist soon and that it helps. Hang in there, and we are here if you ever need to talk <3. ... View more

@Tiny_leaf hope the fish tank goes well. It's okay, take it one step at a time. Remember we are here for you when you need to talk <3 ... View more

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx physical pain is physically and mentally exhausting. I feel you. I don't know if anyone has already suggested or asked? Are you seeing someone for it? I know it's really hectic at the moment, I've had to delay blood tests because I've also been struggling with pain. ... View more

@Tiny_leaf that's pretty sweet to have a companion to lean on when life is hard. I've never had a pet, but I would love to have a cat. ... View more

@Ronan-RO @Anzelmo thanks for the support <3. I'm sorry I haven't been on for a few days. I couldn't bring myself here. I've tried contacting helplines, it did help a little. I've also had my first phone appointment with my psychiatrist, it was a lot different than face to face appointments but we can only do what we can in the current situation. I'm doing a little better now, a little numb though. I think right now I need to focus on how I can get out of the flight and fight mode, anxiety arises from perceived threats. The idea that I can't always save myself nor can anyone else frightens me. Many of us encounter situations that we have little control over. That's where my faith comes in. I think the sooner I can accept that I cannot control everything and learn to lean on God when I can't the better. It's probably not going to happen overnight, but I think that's the first step before I can open up a little more. ... View more

@Tiny_leaf I'm sorry you're going through this rough patch. I hope it gets better for you. You deserve to be treated with respect. Sending virtual hugs <3 ... View more

@Tiny_leaf emotional abuse does suck. It's sad that you've had to endure it throughout all these years and that your parents keep making excuses. If you can't talk to your parents, Is there anyone else you could reach out to? ... View more

@Tiny_leaf hope you're able to find your way into headspace. Remember we are here to support you. You will get through this I promise <3. Things are never as dark as they seem. ... View more

@Tiny_leaf I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so low. I've been through the mental health system, it's sad how some professionals are dodgy. It took me a while I settle down for a my current psychiatrist. I've seen so many professionals. It's hard to feel dishearten if it doesn't seem to work. I don't think you're beyond being helped, I think you just haven't found what works for you. and that's okay, it can take a while. It is also possible. I don't know if I've asked you before, but have you ever considered seeing another health professional? ... View more

Hey @scared01 :). I'm alright, just a bit tired. Was having bad migraines constantly for a few days, being exhausted is probably expected. Hope you are doing well. ... View more

neg: I have tons of readings do do and been procrastinating pos: it's okay I can catch up on the weekend. I had a busy day yesterday so it's okay I feel really tired. I'm not human at the end of the day. neg: my head feels sore. I'm so tired of living with chronic pain. pos: it's not the worst at least. I probably just need some rest. ... View more

I've been on RO on and off lately. @Tiny_leaf how are you doing now? Hope you're doing alright. ... View more

@scared01 sorry to hear you didn't find headspace helpful. Have you tried contacting any other helpline? Hope you are feeling better today <3 ... View more

@Bre-RO I just do regular self-care stuff like listening to music, taking a warm shower, praying etc. I've been trying to write but my mind is completely blocked. I guess I'm out of habit of writing. Maybe I need to stick with it a bit longer. @MisoBear I'm doing okay at the moment. When I do feel overwhelmed, I could start off by saying I'm stressed and overwhelmed. It's a pretty normal thing for uni students. ... View more

@MisoBear sorry for the late reply. I probably could have come on earlier than today, I was pretty much free (uni just started this week), but I don't know where the days we're going. I'll just sit there ruminating. Loneliness, shame and anxiety can be overwhelming. I'm just talented at shutting myself out from the world and bottling emotions up. But I guess that's expected if you've grew up with very few friends and were bullied in school. At the end of the day I've accepted the fact I'm alone, we are born alone and die alone. We are all just broken people, some of us being better at hiding it than others. I don't know how you can remain whole and innocent in a world like this one. I feel there is no single person I can really talk to and release it all. I don't want to have to rely on anyone either. Maybe some battles are meant to be lonely ones. ... View more

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx I can be pretty awful with eating too. It's bad for my migraines. But I agree with @MisoBear it does help to have snacks. My mum ensures I leave with food when I go to uni. I think it's amazing how you want to be psych. I'm study psych here, it's a long road, but I think it is a rewarding one. I think society needs more people like you. ... View more

@Maddy-RO it does help to come on. I often feel so exhausted to really talk about what is going on. But I know how important it is to talk. Suppressing emotions has become a habit of mine. @MisoBear uni can be tough, it's hard to not fall under the pressure. I hope it works out well for you. Uni can be challenging when you're not feeling the best. I had to undertake part time for that reason. I don't think I'm in the right state to complete my coursework and thesis. I'll leave the joy of writing up my thesis for next yr. I need to work on my physical and mental health. I think it does help to try to connect to people. Come on forums, socialise with friends and family. ... View more

@Tiny_leaf I wish some doctors we happy with hearing constructive feedback from the patient. There are some not so great professionals as well as good professionals. Good professionals should be open to feedback. ... View more

@Charlie-29-1999 sometimes it takes a few tries to find something that works. Talking to your psychiatrist sounds like a good starting point. I've seen various mental health professionals and not all of their methods suited me. It might not only be about using one type of therapy but various in combination. Hope it all goes well. ... View more