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not-an-otter
Super frequent scribe
since
06-06-2019
24-02-2020
104
Posts
207
Kudos
0
Solutions
24-02-2020
06:31 PM
@Tiny_leaf I think she'd react fairly positively and I would almost definitely be safe, I just don't know what to say and I really hate being vulnerable- I wasn't brought up talking about feelings and shit and not to mention dysphoria holding me to stupid toxic masculinity standards of not expressing myself and emotions. I want to come out, I really do- I found a gay friend group at school and they use the right pronouns and everything it's so awesome- but I also don't want my parents to find out from going through my search history ya know? p.s. you got the builder role!!! oh wow congratulations I'm so happy for you :)
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24-02-2020
05:38 PM
Hi everyone I really need some advice on what to because my parents found my search history and if you didn't already know, I am transgender and a part of the lgbt+ community. So basically I had a facebook account that I don't use and haven't logged into for a while now, but I guess because it was linked to my mum's facebook and we share an IP address, she started getting ads for pride and lgbt+ stuff and started to ask me questions about it. She noticed how i've been dressing super masculine and trying to lower my voice but i'm not ready to have that conversation with her yet. Since then i've been super paranoid about my parents finding anything else so i deleted everything and took down all my pride stuff hanging up in my bedroom. it kinda feels like i just ripped a huge part of my identity away and i really don't want to hide anymore but at the same time i'm also not ready to come out to my parents. what do i do? any help or advice is greatly appreciated
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14-01-2020
08:33 PM
4 Kudos
Hey @Tiny_leaf you can rant to me about periods and dysphoria if you want, i just got really dysphoric about some stupid shit so yeah feel free to talk about it if its bothering you
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07-12-2019
09:12 PM
I’m worried about doing web chats or calling helplines because my parents have recently learnt to check my search history and call history which is fun so now I am using reach out for research purposes for a school project that I am 100% definitely doing and definitely exists. I’m so sick of making excuses why I don’t get help though, like if I actually wanted help I would find a way right? So maybe I don’t need help and im just being over dramatic.
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06-12-2019
01:45 PM
I'm trying to study for exams right now but I can't concentrate and I'm getting distracted so easily but I have to do the work on my computer which is not helping and I've barely got anything done and I'm a bit stressed. Not even about the actual exams, but because I feel dumb like I'm struggling with the content and I don't understand because everything is moving too fast and I'm really not motivated.
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06-12-2019
01:36 PM
So i've had a real bad week and this is probably the worst I've felt in a long time. And I'm mad at myself because the only reason I don't have the help I need is because of myself. Like it would be so easy to ask somebody or even to call a helpline and there are literally no excuses except for my stupid mind that won't allow me to do anything and it's so frustrating I can't handle it anymore. I'm too scared to ask for help and I'm scared of being vulnerable and most of the time I hate being me.
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02-12-2019
01:04 PM
@roseisnotaplant you are right i am happy and comfortable with myself now more than ever and other people opinions dont have to make me feel down. So far school is going okay most people have reacted positively so im a bit more relaxed now which is nice for a change
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01-12-2019
08:40 PM
Last Friday I cut all my hair off which was a bid thing for me and sometimes I pass to strangers which is excellent but I’m super worried about school tomorrow. I know the sorts of comments I’m going to get but I don’t really know how to respond. Today a friend said I look like a boy but that’s kinda the point and people are saying that it looks really feminine which is not the point even though they are well meaning. I don’t know what to do and I think this week is going to be tough. I’m also worried about my schoolwork because I’m really not up to date with anything at the moment and even though im not stressed about exams everybody else is and maybe I should be stressed??
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01-12-2019
08:05 PM
5 Kudos
Okay I’m actually so happy today I cut my hair and now it’s short and I passed a few times today and I’m not even on t or anything (I do look about 11 though.. but that’s okay because it’s an eleven year old boy) I cut it myself last Friday and got it fixed today so that was really neat and for the first time in a while I actually like me which is an awesome feeling and also loving the positivity of this thread @N1ghtW1ng Also @Tiny_leaf that’s so awesome you got a good fitting singlet! I’m so happy for you 😄
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28-11-2019
09:48 PM
@roseisnotaplant I mean, I’ve got some good friends who I’m sure would listen but I always seem to play it off as humour and I avoid talking about my problems by making jokes about myself in a negative way it works at getting the attention away from the heavy stuff and where it’s easier to talk about lighter topics
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28-11-2019
05:21 PM
@Bre-RO the school counsellor just makes me and most of the other students uncomfortable. It’s not that he isn’t nice or anything but sometimes he randomly appears behind a student or teacher and speaks really softly. I just don’t feel comfortable around him and even less so talking to him about personal things. For me, a counsellor would be approachable and easy to communicate with and he isn’t either of those things. But maybe I’m just being ridiculous and making up excuses for some reason...
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27-11-2019
10:10 PM
1 Kudo
thanks @drpenguin I don’t currently have someone I can talk to, the school counsellor is a bit creepy and uncomfortable but I’m working on finding someone I’m just annoyed because everything annoys me and I don’t seem to be capable of having a normal conversation and saying the right things and I’m sick of being sad and angry and frustrated thanks for the support though ❤️
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27-11-2019
09:03 PM
Today at school my class debated a...sensitive and very political topic and some of the arguments really got to me and I kept getting drowned out by the majority (side note: I get really dysphoric about my voice so when people talk over me it’s even worse. I know it shouldn’t but I can’t really control it). I don’t understand why people can’t just be nice? Like it’s not that hard to listen to other people opinions and be respectful? Or am I wrong, is it now okay to completely invalidate someone else and disregard everything they have to say? Also my friend had a really shitty day too and so we both kinda just cried on the bus ride home because I didn’t really know what to say and now I’m mad at myself because I don’t know how to help. idk what this post is but I’ve had a bad couple of weeks and I’m not really handling everything very well and I’m behind in school and everything makes me mad and I’m sick of being sad all the time sorry I just really needed to vent i don’t even know what i need help with
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13-11-2019
06:08 PM
6 Kudos
@Tiny_leaf It’s not something that has happened to me, but it’s a possibility in the future which sucks but that’s the reality for so many lgbt+ youth but I’m also just curious in general- I don’t know of any places in Victoria (where I am) that help homeless lgbt+ people and it would be good to get some resources for some other states. I do know that twenty10 can help with housing if you are in NSW https://www.twenty10.org.au/get-support/housing/ There’s also Youth Futures in WA which isn’t lgbt+ specific, but as far as I can tell, they are trans-friendly https://youthfutureswa.com.au/about
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11-11-2019
06:51 PM
2 Kudos
Hi everybody! @Tiny_leaf @Bre-RO @TOM-RO I have a few questions about coming out when you’re young and trans. I don’t know if this would apply to many other people, but what happens if you get kicked out of home for being trans after coming out? Where do you go? How do you manage being transgender as well as homelessness? I would expect that trans youth are at a higher risk of abuse, violence or even death when they are homeless, so are there places to go or things that can help homeless lgbt+ youth?
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04-11-2019
09:09 PM
5 Kudos
@Tiny_leaf That’s awesome you’ve made friends with another trans person, I’m super happy for you! 😄 You’re about it being hard to find other trans people especially in real life and it sucks when there aren’t even that many trans people to begin with, so finding them can be quite difficult. In saying that though, it can be really helpful to have a strong support network of other lgbt+ people who understand what you’re going through and help you become a better person 😄
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03-11-2019
09:18 PM
4 Kudos
Hey there @Terw1324 It’s awesome that you’re trying to help out your boyfriend while he is on his period, @Esperanza67 is right, being on your period while also being male makes can make trans masc people feel less masculine and more dysphoric than usual. One thing that might help your boyfriend is for you to just be there for him and making sure that he knows you don’t think any less of him. Also, please remember to take care of yourself as well, it can be draining when a person close to you is struggling but it’s super important to take care of yourself first ❤️
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14-10-2019
06:34 PM
@SomeoneNADJS I don’t know how to keep my mind off it, it’s like everything I do I somehow manage to relate back to dysphoria and make myself feel shitty. I tried to stop thinking about it by occupying myself with other things but it never works for very long and it’s like dysphoria is everything. It’s all I think about and it never gives me a break.
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13-10-2019
08:54 PM
3 Kudos
@Tiny_leaf That’s an interesting point about the “system” being at fault, would that make it easier when talking to health professionals, just trying to at least pretend that the system is broken, rather than the individuals within it? Perhaps it would make it easier if you imagine that the people you tried to get help from do care about your health but the overall system that is healthcare just doesn’t work how it should. I don’t know if that made any sense or is helpful at all, but for me personally whenever I’m frustrated I try to imagine that it isn’t the persons fault, and I can direct the frustration towards something else.
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13-10-2019
07:41 AM
2 Kudos
Hi @Tiny_leaf I’m sorry to hear that your struggling at the moment, it must be stressful when you feel health professionals aren’t doing their job ☹️ Is there anything you can do right now that would make you feel a little better? Maybe colouring or listening to music might help? Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
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12-10-2019
05:05 PM
2 Kudos
Hi @Cheeseburger that sucks that you’ve experienced hate for being who you are, transphobia is never okay Sometimes just accepting yourself for who you are can help make you feel so much better, knowing that we as a community are making progress and knowing that things will improve. There are so many other people who have had similar experiences to you (myself included) and you are never alone Do you have someone that you can talk to that supports you? Often one thing that can make you feel a whole lot better is surrounding yourself with supportive and caring people, who you can be yourself around and feel loved
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12-10-2019
02:52 PM
@SomeoneNADJS honestly today hasn’t been any better except that I didn’t have to go to school today, but I’m really just not coping at all
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12-10-2019
07:23 AM
So this week was really difficult dysphasia peaked last night and I think I might be going downhill after I thought maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad, this week really just made everything a whole lot worse. I couldn’t get onto qlife all at all this week, they must have been really busy (which is fine- I know there’s heaps of other people who need them too) but I’m not getting any better
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09-10-2019
09:24 PM
So my mum just said that I look nice with my hair out and it feels like I just got punched in the stomach because she doesn't know how much those comments hurt me and now I feel even shittier about myself
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09-10-2019
08:53 PM
1 Kudo
Hi everyone and thank you all for your incredible advice, the support made my day :) I'm doing all I can at the moment but obviously fucking dysphoria doesn't just go away no matter how hard I try, it makes me feel useless and it's like I can't fucking do anything without it being there and interrupting. Honestly there really is nothing I can do right now and today wasn't great I haven't been doing well recently because dysphoria makes me feel like shit about myself all the time...
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08-10-2019
09:25 PM
Thank you @Tiny_leaf for the awesome resources and tips for binding, I really appreciate it @Bre-RO Thank you for your kind words, really needed it tonight I know there's a whole community of people like me and it makes me feel really proud knowing that other people have had similar experiences to me and everything will turn out fine in the end, but then I start thinking and how there really is nothing I can do to change anything right now and I just have to wait but all the smaller moments in between just become so overwhelming like constantly being misgendered and not being myself basically so now I just feel really down and I don't know how I'm going to go the next few days it's going to be really tough
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07-10-2019
09:48 PM
That's a really good question actually, I haven't really thought about it but i guess there's lots of good distractions that would help like just having other things to think about
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07-10-2019
09:31 PM
2 Kudos
Thanks @SomeoneNADJS I do have ways to cope with dysphoria but not for when I'm in public or around other people. I dress fairly masculine generally but my school has a uniform and I have to wear the dress which is very uncomfortable and I also wear hats and bigger clothes to hide my hair and body shape but it really isn't going to work at school...
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07-10-2019
08:38 PM
I'm really struggling tonight with being transgender, tomorrow I have to go back to school and I'm not ready. I can't afford a binder let alone get one without my parents knowing and the dysphoria is getting out of hand. I'm safe for now, but I'm barely coping Dysphoria is such a pain and school makes it a million times worse, with the uniform I have to wear and not being out to anyone and still looking and sounding female, I don't know how I'm going to cope the next few years. I've talked to Qlife and we both agreed that given my situation, it's probably best to just wait until I'm 18 before coming out or changing my gender expression because it could put me in danger if I'm not careful. I don't really know what to do until I'm older, but it's hard to focus on studying, health or anything really when I'm so dysphoric about everything. it might sound weird, but just being trans makes me dysphoric, because cisgender males my age aren't transgender if that makes any sense. I feel super shitty about it all the time, but there's nothing I can do and sometimes it's all too much for me to handle. Again, just confirming that I am safe, just upset and frustrated.
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02-10-2019
12:48 PM
1 Kudo
okay let's try this again xxnl,dexki=.llou2q1q12qxxxxx hmm... seems about right ahaha
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My Recent High Fives Received
| Subject | High Fives | Posted |
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| 4 | 14-01-2020 08:33 PM | |
| 1 | 24-06-2019 08:32 PM | |
| 5 | 01-12-2019 08:05 PM | |
| 2 | 11-11-2019 06:51 PM | |
| 1 | 27-11-2019 10:10 PM |
My Recent High Fives Given
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| Date Registered | 06-06-2019 09:08 PM |
| Date Last Visited | 24-02-2020 08:32 PM |
| Total Messages Posted | 104 |
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