Hi @goldilocks, thank you so much for sharing. One thing that might help is focusing on health as a complete picture rather than what your body looks like. How your body looks is not an indicator of how healthy you are. You could make some goals that are focused on health rather than appearance. For example, how your body feels, what your body is capable of and the potential that it has rather than weight or appearance. I personally love lifting weights and running because I feel really capable, powerful and strong.
The same can be said for healthy eating - how is the food that you are eating making you feel? Are there any particular foods that make you feel really energised? There are some tips about making healthy food choices here. Generally when starting any exercise or diet regime, it is best to chat to your GP to discuss how you might respond to these types of changes. This way you can also discuss setting goals that are realistic, healthy and positive for your well-being. Sometimes we aren't aware of what behaviours are healthy or unhealthy, so it is important to learn more before you start making changes. We have some articles on body image, exercise and eating well, and health at every size. These links have heaps of articles which you can read through including recipes from qualified nutritionists/dietitians.
Just so you know, I also added a trigger warning (TW) to your post as weight can be triggering for some people.
