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Re: [CHAT] RUOK day: How to ask, how to help

@stonepixie I just found that out too! Now I really want to try it.

 

The first step of starting any conversation is asking! It may sound easy, but sometimes it

can be difficult for us to start the conversation even though we want to. What kind of things

can we say to let the person know that we want to know if something is wrong? How can we

begin the conversation and help them open up?

 

 

I've always been taught to use lots of "I" statements. "I've noticed you've been a bit quieter than usual" etc. It's worked well for me thus far Smiley Happy

______________________________________________________
No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: [CHAT] RUOK day: How to ask, how to help

What kind of things can we say to let the person know that we want to know if something is wrong? How can we

begin the conversation and help them open up?

Along similar lines to my last answer, if you've noticed that there's been a particular behaviour change thats causing concern you could use it to lead into the conversation. Like "Hey, I've notice recently you haven't been doing so much of _ as you used to, is something up?".

Re: [CHAT] RUOK day: How to ask, how to help

My drumsticks are right next to me! My *drum* drumsticks! Smiley Wink They're great at hitting things!

Nice to see you join @AllyJane!

Re: [CHAT] RUOK day: How to ask, how to help

The first step of starting any conversation is asking! It may sound easy, but sometimes it can be difficult for us to start the conversation even though we want to. What kind of things can we say to let the person know that we want to know if something is wrong? How can we begin the conversation and help them open up?

 

How has life been treating you lately?

I'm worried about you .... (state reasons why the worry) .... is everything okay?

Get straight to the point.


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [CHAT] RUOK day: How to ask, how to help

Bahahaha, so much food discussion! But perhaps it's a good place to start!

 

The first step of starting any conversation is asking! It may sound easy, but sometimes it

can be difficult for us to start the conversation even though we want to. What kind of things

can we say to let the person know that we want to know if something is wrong? How can we

begin the conversation and help them open up?

 

Go get some food with someone, create a chilled out space to talk while you both nibble on something tasty. Maybe next year we can offer free drumsticks and ask the question RUOK? Heh. 

 

Also i think part of the thing is to not be scared of being shut down. Most people i know aren't going to get upset by someone wanting to know how you're doing! So just ask! 

 

 

Re: [CHAT] RUOK day: How to ask, how to help

@Randomness Welcome! You're spot on! We're all so super different! I think sometimes the signs we give even depend on who we're with. For example, usually with my boyfriend I'll be super withdrawn and quiet, because I'm more comfortable letting him know something is wrong. But with other friends, I'll act happy and fine because I'm not ready to let them know something is not okay yet.

 

@stonepixie YAAAS! This is the kind of drumstick I wanted! I think I'm going to buy one on the way to work tonight. Yum!

 

@AllyJane "It's fine, it doesn't matter" IS A HUGE SIGN ACTUALLY! I can't believe I didn't think of it. I'm definitely guilty of using it. Usually what I really mean is "It's not fine, I actually want you to ask me about it but I don't want to have to bring it up myself first."

 

@FootyFan26 Luckily it's always in private! For me it's like "the straw that broke the camels back" kind of thing. Everything builds up and then BAM, one tiny thing offsets everything. Then usually afterwards I laugh at how silly I was, haha.

Re: [CHAT] RUOK day: How to ask, how to help

@lokifish The good old "I" statement, seriously such a great tool!

Re: [CHAT] RUOK day: How to ask, how to help

*Hands @Chessca_H a virtual icecream* Smiley Happy

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: [CHAT] RUOK day: How to ask, how to help

These answers are great! 

I like your answer @Chessca_H and the way you reflect back the things you've noticed to them! Sometimes not being okay can sneak up on you, talking to someone else about the changes you have seen might help them think about how they're doing! 

Re: [CHAT] RUOK day: How to ask, how to help

@stonepixie Yaaaaay, although maybe not as edible as actual ice cream Smiley Tongue