originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:12 PM

Thanks @safari93 one of my teachers told me that I need to demand attention when I speak. (I lacked assertion) I haven't looked back. 🙂

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:15 PM

What strategies do you have for juggling several commitments? Or what do you think would help?

 

Great time management skills. I need to know all the details before committing to things. Make sure commitments vary in activities / subject matter and length of time.

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:13 PM

What strategies do you have for juggling several commitments? Or what do you think would help?

 

It's all about buffers for me! Instead of packing my life chock full of stuff, i make myself have some space to do things that aren't things i.e nothing. I literally have sections in my calendar app on my google account that say "do nothing". 

 

This helps not just because i have time for self-care, but because it means if something takes longer or is unexpectedly tiring, i still have time to do it and rest up and look after myself too :). 

 

It also means if I want to do something for fun, or create an awesome photo, i have room in my life to do that, instead of just doing all the predictable normal things that I would have to do if i didn't make some extra space for the spontaneous. 

 

 

 

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:15 PM

Not quite understanding you @Craycray17 and @Ben-RO.  You refering to my stepdad?

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:25 PM

@j95 The self-care skill thing is a really tricky one to get the hang of, I think it's awesome that you're planning to do it like that. Believe it or not, but lot of people take decades to realize that that's important. To do.

@safari93 I am okay at doing the whole "don't work after a certain time" but not great. I know you people catch me messaging mods or high fiving posts late at night some times. But mostly I am pretty well behaved and keep those boundaries :). I sometimes wonder if it's okay to be a little flexible with the rules or if it's important to be strict with the nothing time you give yourself?


Hmm, @FootyFan26 all of the things, anything you want to change or want to find new ways of thinking about! Just thought i'd mention it cause it's my job to ask and ask a lot 🙂

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:06 PM

@Ben-RO It's so hard to know. Sometimes i think im handling everything really well and then one thing happens and it all falls to pieces but sometimes nothing tips the iceberg and I get through fine. Just depends, I don't know if this is a good answer but I think it kind of comes with practice? We're all different. Only I can know when that im on the edge and I can't know till I try..

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:10 PM

That is kind of like living with my mental illness, @Stealth_ninja I will be balancing everything, handling it pretty well and then I get a trigger and everything just comes crashing down.

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:17 PM

@stonepixie It definitely is what it's like living with mental illness and I do think mine contributes to it. When i was at my worst I used to go through phases of being really good and then during that time i'd commit to a lot of things and then I'd have a spiral and just go into my cave. I'm pretty proud of how far I've come, it still happens to be definitely but not nearly as up and down as it used to be. 

 

The idea of Advice for the Nice has been something I sort of thought about for a long time and it came from this feeling I had of constantly feeling like I was letting people down if I didn't live up to their expectations but mostly my own simply because I was too nice to say No. I felt like a failure if i said No. Like, everyone else can handle it why can't you? But we are all different. We all need different things. 

 

Sorry for my rant. My strategies are, trust myself when I think I need a timeout, forgive myself when I have to back out of commitments or let people down and lean into the discomfort if it's fear that's preventing me from truly achieving what I can achieve. These are my mantras, that's the first time I've shared them 🙂

 

I think it definitely helps to be assertive! Speak your truth, start conversations about it - Like this one!! 🙂 Also need to get me a colouring book @Craycray17

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:23 PM

You don't need to be sorry for ranting @Stealth_ninja!

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:06 PM

@Ben-RO I usually say it before as it's extremely rare that I go out with mates mainly because my Mum doesn't want me going out because she's worried and probably because of my stepdad as well.

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:08 PM

@FootyFan26 Seems like it's a good skill to have but sometimes not the most pleasant one to actually act on. If you wanna talk through it on the forums, we're always happy to!

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:02 PM

Hah, you have all taught me a lot in the last 2 and a half months. One of the many things is that Kmart is amazing and kind of like a mindfulness meditation with more affordable kitchen items.

It seems like we are all pretty good at saying nope! Do we say it before or after things start getting overwhelming?

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:08 PM

Do we say it before or after things start getting overwhelming?

 

Before! But then again, I am a homebody. But I usually don't give people an answer until the day of a social situation. As for work and such, just today I was telling someone that what they are expecting me to do in the next 24 hours is impossible and I won't be doing it. I got evils, but they soon go over it.

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:04 PM

Oops I say it after

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:01 PM

And obviously as everyone else has said it too - prioritise! Sometimes when I'm so snowed down that doesn't even work because everything is urgent so there's nothing I should pick first