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originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:48 PM

Yep, no, Imma gonna have to call it quits as well. Gotta look after myself.

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ
j95
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:48 PM

just the stuff with mum - the court orders and stuff. I've probably already said enough about the incident to the point where it's getting annoying so I'll just leave it now. Ok now I'm going for real.
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
Ben-RO
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:49 PM

Gnite dude! And you have literally never annoyed me! So if you wanna, we're here if you need us 🙂
evanescence
Super frequent scribe

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:56 PM

There have been a few times in the past when I was invited to a social event, and I just was NOT in the mood to go! I could think of a MILLION reasons as to WHY I should stay home!! Easy!! I'd feel all this resistane and I didn't care if I let people down, i felt so uncomfortable!

But then I'd really push myself to feel okay how i was dressed and that it was all in my head - and I'd go, and once I got talking to people I pretty much felt sooo much better instantaneously!

Then this having a good time, being myself, having fun made me feel more confident and determined to make a point to get out and be social, as it is defintely GOOD for all of us.

 

A bit of the opposite of what you're discussing, but I've learned to find my balance and I'm enjoying life heaps more this year .

safari93
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:44 PM

Night @j95!! Thanks for joining us!!

 

what are the benefits that come with saying ‘no’ once in a while? What are some of the benefits of saying yes to social commitments?

 

I feel like one benefit they have in common is that you end up enjoying yourself more when you say yes/no according to how much time/energy you have. Saying no gives you some time to recharge or catch up on other important things, so you aren't stressed about them. And saying yes when you want to hang out means you'll actually enjoy others' company

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:46 PM

I find myself having to lie sometimes too @Craycray17 im not sure why I do it. I guess I worry that saying no because i want to sit at home and do nothing isn't a good enough answer?

I agree @safari93 but there are sometimes where i feel like bailing but i get talked into going and once i get there i end up having a really good time but I know that if i'd stayed home i probably would have had a good time too so it's hard to pick sometimes.

N1ghtW1ng
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:44 PM

@Ben-RO It's almost midday 😛

Anyway peeps, it's okay to say "No". Self care is important!
Craycray17
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:43 PM

7. what are the benefits that come with saying ‘no’ once in a while? What are some of the benefits of saying yes to social commitments?

Saying no allows you to set boundaries and switch off times. Saying no allows you to see the value of your time, and respect that you need some time to do nothing, just like so many people tonight have said!
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle
safari93
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:42 PM

@N1ghtW1ng hey!! That was an excellent piece Smiley Happy And Mum is such a useful excuse!!

Craycray17
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:41 PM

Hey @Shant2!
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle
N1ghtW1ng
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:40 PM

Sorry guys I can't really join in, what with school and everything, but I'm gonna say my piece 'cause I can 😛


Saying no is hard, especially for me. Tell my frienss I need to be more assertive and they'd laugh at me. But I do, because I let people walk over me. But that's for another time. People often feel socially obliged to go out when invitied, us introverts like to celebrate cancelled plans rather than the party itself. But the people who don't say no immediately or after a moment, who say yes to every invite, they could be suffering too. It's impprtant to say no sometimes, because everyone needs a bit of space every now and again. While it's always good to surround yourself with good company on a bad day, it's also okay to say no and give yourself some alone time. Even extroverts need a break! No one should ever feel that they can't refuse an invitation. But you should always be polite. Saying no, with a polite tone, is all you need. "No, sorry." As easy as that. You can say you need an afternoon/night to yourself, or a break(although that might not work if you're always be yourself), or the good old "My mum won't let me", "I need to work/study/babysit".
smiley_
Frequent scribe

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:40 PM

6. Have you ever had to say no to someone who wanted to hang out with you? What was it like?

I am in a similar boat to @FootyFan26 we tend to hang in groups! 
I've been fortunate to have a great group of friends who understand I'm quite busy during each uni semester, so its gotten easier to say no.. we always try to catch up when we are all free Smiley HappySmiley Very Happy

Craycray17
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:40 PM

I say no to social things so much, its more the work and volunteering I need to say no to! I have a full plate now so it's the perfect time to learn how to say no for future.
When I have said No to friends, I felt such guilt that I would make up excuses and lie about having plans. Then I got caught out and realised, saying no because I simply don't feel like it is okay! Everyone has off days, so I don't feel bad saying no to friends sometimes
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle
j95
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:42 PM

Sorry guys I came late and now I'm going to have to nick off early, just got so much to worry about and think about right now! Night everyone
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
Ben-RO
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:43 PM

Night @j95! We are here for you as always!

 

 

Also hey @N1ghtW1ng! Good morning! 

safari93
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:38 PM

Welcome @Shant2! That's a good idea, so it doesn't feel like you're blowing them off and communicating that it's just because you don't really have the time/energy

j95
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:32 PM

@stonepixie since the day of that post I have been hoping that would happen and it did! We're just too awesome!

correction... Kmart is just too awesome!
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
stonepixie
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:38 PM

No, no, Kmart is not as awesome as us! Never forget that! @j95

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ
Shant2
Frequent scribe

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:37 PM

Sorry I'm late to the party folks!

 

6. Have you ever had to say no to someone who wanted to hang out with you? What was it like?

 

Absolutely! How wonderful is it when someone wants to hang out with you right? Reality is that it is not always possible to be available to hang out and sometimes you have to slip in the polite decline. Whenever someone wants to hang out, i always see it as an opportunity to get to know someone a bit better and break routine for a bit of fun. I always ensure that I reschedule for a better time (if the person still wants to hang out). 

 

 

FootyFan26
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:34 PM

Saying no is normal for me. My friends usually go in groups anyway so it's not like I'd be leaving them all alone.
evanescence
Super frequent scribe

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:46 PM

...catching up on the convo.....:)

4. What do you think is the best thing to do when you feel overwhelmed with all of your responsibilities?

i used to be so so good at having my hand in several pies at once - I guess I was used to it, i had all this enthusiasm, idealism, optimism...then i'd keep getting stressed out and learnt to be more realistic about myself, what i could manage and even though i cut back and learnt to focus first on me and my own wellbeing and life - this made me learn to listen to my inner gut feeling, nurture myself, and then get out the lists and prioritise  and take my time to do things to better fruition this time round . My relationships have gotten more satisfying and deeper the more time i've taken to develop them and slow down, and weed them out - say no when i'm just tired or want some time with my fam or by myself to recharge adn enjoy!


5. What strategies do you have for juggling several commitments? Or what do you think would help?

Practical things like lists, calendars on walls, reminders on phones, setting weekly and daily goals to make sure im spending as much time on each as is necessary. And look after myself more, slow down, and not allow myself to get worked up or stresed if things don't get done or such. Also not thin k it's the end of the world if i miss out on a social engagement - the world still turns, and i can cathc up next time 🙂 That was a great one to learn for me. I realised I was socially 'expendable' in a sense 🙂 🙂 🙂 and it was OKAY! 😛


6. Have you ever had to say no to someone who wanted to hang out with you? What was it like?

Nawww, I still don't like letting people down if i can help it, but def have become more stronger in my personal boundairies, and luckly with friends i've been able to manage timetabling with them, and it's not really an issue. If people say no to me about catching up, I feel a bit sad about it, but then i get a grip and look to the future for the next time. No biggie! I'd say that I say no to others more often now than them to me - but that's okay too. All in good balance. The world doesn't revolve around me anyway. 🙂

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:41 PM

 

Thats' fair enough then @FootyFan26 it helps when your friends are understanding of your situation. It's also okay to be content with not going to a lot of social events. There can be a lot of benefits to saying no but also it can be good to go out with your friends some times too!

 

Which brings us to the next question 🙂

 

7. what are the benefits that come with saying ‘no’ once in a while? What are some of the benefits of saying yes to social commitments?

safari93
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:31 PM

Hey @evanescence, glad you could make it!!

 

6. Have you ever had to say no to someone who wanted to hang out with you? What was it like?

 

For sure, although honestly not till after I left school, and it was the strangest thing but I played it up so much in my head and when I actually said no the person said "Aww okay, maybe next time then" and I was like "!!!!!! It was so much easier than I thought!!"

j95
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:30 PM

@Ben-RO the thing is... I plan on doing things like that but do I actually do them? Let's be real here, probably not.
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//
Ben-RO
Uber contributor

originally posted on 09-11-2015 9:35 PM

Practice makes perfect @j95 !