[CHAT] Life transitions and coping with ch-ch-ch-changes
originally posted on 28-01-2016 11:29 AM
Transitions are a big part of our lives. Sometimes these may include going back to a new school year, moving schools or starting university or TAFE. Some of us may have even moved to an entirely new state, or be facing the upcoming transition between university and entering the workforce for the first time.
When I was younger, my family moved from a relatively small and quiet town to an entirely new, busy (and scary) city. Everything felt unfamiliar, and to top it all off I went from a very small school straight into a big high school. This meant there were lots of new people to meet, a completely new routine to adjust to and new experiences to have both inside and outside of school. Fast forward a few years, and I love it here!
Finishing high school and beginning a university or TAFE course, or moving from education to work can also have similar challenges. Different expectations, more freedom and varying schedules can lead us to questioning who we are, and whether we have made the right choices.
As we go through transitions, our roles may change. We may be worried about how we will adjust to the new, missing friends, not knowing anyone in our new surroundings or how to go about making friends.
But transitions can also mean that there is an opportunity for new experiences, new friends and a NEW you!
Join us from 8pm AEST on Monday 1st of February to talk about back-to-school related transitions and the things that we can do to cope with change in positive ways!
Event Details
01 Feb 2016, 9:00 AM UTC
01 Feb 2016, 11:00 AM UTC
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originally posted on 01-02-2016 10:07 PM
Thanks for a great GR tonight everybody, and for your super insightful responses!! 
originally posted on 01-02-2016 10:04 PM
Relax, slow down, check your support system and be patient. For @Craycray17's question.For @Ben-RO's question, if the change was a negative one. Or if you have given yourself time and been patient but the change isn't a good one.
originally posted on 01-02-2016 10:01 PM
Ooh special bonus questions from @Craycray17 @Ben-RO!
I think that remembering that many of us have/have had very similar feelings regarding change is pretty comforting. Being patient with yourself, knowing you're not alone, and accessing support networks are incredibly helpful strategies when going through any sort of change/transition (big or small).
Definitely as @stonepixie mentioned, trusting your gut feelings/intuition is so important. Also if you are in an environment where people are being disrespectful or you feel unsafe, or you just simply aren't enjoying yourself, it's okay to say nope to the change!
originally posted on 01-02-2016 10:04 PM
Thankyou so much for joining us tonight, everyone! this GR on transitions and ch-ch-ch-changes allowed us to really look at what changes mean to us and the importance that change holds in our lives. Here’s what we discussed:
Changes and transitions are the same thing, but can mean different things for different people. we spoke about how changes can be slow or sudden, unexpected or part of our daily routine.
Some examples of changes that we discussed tonight were anything from cleaning our room (the changed state between bomb-hit floordrobe and a picture out of Home and Living magazine) or changing house, school, from school to work, even from holidays back to the usual routine again! Some other important changes are adjusting to life after a break-up, or even a passing of someone we love, where people are absent. Or welcoming a new sibling or child into our lives, where the house gets fuller!
Some changes are bigger than others, and can happen at the same time, for example moving state requires a new house, new community, new school and new work all at once!
There’s no doubt that some changes are really difficult, and most of us think that this is because of our underlying fear of breaking our routine and stepping into the unknown, and also when we feel a lack of control in our new environment/way of life.
A very common support for those who embrace change are friends and family, and any person in between! staying connected to friends, and sharing when we are overwhelmed with change can really help us get through tha unknown period, or until we are able to fully accept the changes we are faced with. And sometimes, we just have to keep pushing through that little bit longer with the knowledge that this new thing/place will eventually become familiar.
besides people and chatting it out, university counsellors, community groups, writing down how we feel, and just stepping back and looking after ourselves when we get stressed an really help us tackle changes in the best way we can.
And of course… chatting it out on RO can help!!
Some tips that all who joined us tonight recommended were to give things a go, to allow yourself time to adjust to change, and to introduce yourself to new people in order to get in the know straight away. another important tip for embracing change rather than fighting it is to go in with an open mind, free of judgement. if we think that the day ahead is going to be a great new day, then we are more likely to look for those positives and make it happen!
So, when will the next change occur in your life? changes come and go, and opportunities for new changes come and go too. if a change is too difficult or not ideal for you, there may be some other options out there for you! if the change is inevitable, sticking it out, and staying open minded can get us past the initial fear that changes bring along, and can help us become masters of ch-ch-ch-changes! Turn and face the strange!
originally posted on 01-02-2016 10:08 PM
Thanks @Craycray17 for another one of your mega-summaries! I always get a lot out of having a read of them :).
And thanks to @Craycray17 @N1ghtW1ng @stonepixie @khaleesi_18 @redhead @Stealth_ninja and @j95 for joining us!
originally posted on 01-02-2016 10:02 PM
awesome response, @khaleesi_18@ we are all in the same boat, changes happen all around us!originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:51 PM
That's so interesting @Craycray17, and reassuring that it's a pretty common and normal thing! I remember we touched on that at uni actually, but hadn't heard/couldn't remember what it was called.
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:45 PM
@Craycray17 those are really great, proactive suggestions! Particularly number 2 - I need to remember that more often than not!
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:47 PM
number two is actually a part of social psych @khaleesi_18! young people tend to suffer from the spotlight belief or spotlight perception (or something like that) where we believe that everyone can see us stuffing up, or everyone is watching us, but in actual fact, we are all so worried that everyone is looking at us that we dont even notice others. its kind of funny, and very relatable!originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:54 PM
Hrrmmm It seems like everyone answered that question really well lol and now we're all waiting for eachother to say something else hehe.
I really like the point quite a few of us have made about just needing to give things time. I wonder if we should also know when to say nope to a change though. Like some times things don't work and it's worth trying something else! What sort of things would make you choose to do that?
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:56 PM
great point, @Ben-RO! similar to what @stonepixie was saying about trusting your intuition sometimes, i mean pushing through is excellent and a great quality, but there are those times where our gut will be yelling to stop louder.
i guess is important to remember that its okay to go back on changes, and is not always permanent, and wont always be the only path you take in life!
originally posted on 01-02-2016 10:00 PM
Yeah that makes sense to me @Craycray17. I think maybe sometimes we might get "railroaded" Which i think means that you feel like just because something that has happened can't happen anymore, there's only like one possibility or transition or step, when really there's pretty much always a lot of things that are possible, and everything is just a stepping stone in a huge landscape of possible paths you can take. If it sucks, it's going to change. If it's awesome, unfortunately it's also going to change, so make the most of it , be in the moment and enjoy it!
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:53 PM
so thats the end of our questions tonight!! has anyone learnt a good tip that they can apply next time they face a big change, or for a transition that they are facing currently?
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:42 PM
Go in with an opened mind. Minds made up before you have even experienced something can never lead to something good.Trust your intuition.
Never make a permanent decision on a fleeting emotion.
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:41 PM
Oh now I feel like an idiot 😛 I've been clicking the URL and pressing enter when I could of been swiping down all night! 😛 Oops. 😄
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:39 PM
What tips would you give you past self, or someone going through the same transition in order to settle in and embrace the change?Allow yourself time.
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:39 PM
Same as I always say: Relax, and just keep swimming!originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:38 PM
@j95 and when they come back to life by accident! Then you worry for the moment they die again. 😛@Ben-RO I want to go back so bad though!
Bye @Stealth_ninja!! It was nice chatting and I hope you have a good week!
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:40 PM
Well @N1ghtW1ng, it's harder work to press the back button in real life. But you can totally do it still!
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:36 PM
We made it - it's time for our last question!
What tips would you give you past self, or someone going through the same transition in order to settle in and embrace the change?
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:40 PM
What tips would you give you past self, or someone going through the same transition in order to settle in and embrace the change?
to go for it! if i could give past me a pep talk before that first day of uni, id say a few tips:
1. start conversations! 'what did you do over the holidays?' is a good starter
2. remember that no where near as many people as you think are looking at you, infact probably no one is looking at you, relax
3. invite anyone interesting to chill with you in your breaks. worst hing that could happen would be that they arent as interesting as you thought, and then after that break you can try your luck again in the next class.
4. dont leave gaps between the chairs, sit next to someone and introduce yourself!
originally posted on 01-02-2016 9:35 PM
@N1ghtW1ng TV show deaths are so tough
