originally posted on 24-11-2014 8:37 PM

It seems like issuses like healthy / unhealthy relationships should be taught in sex-ed!  How else can we make sure we all see examples of healthy relationships and learn about them throughout our lives?

 

There could be books. Not too long ago I found a book series that has been around for yonks. It explains a lot of emotions in simplified words for young kids. I was just reading it at the book shop and was like 'Yep, that is depression' or 'That is totally social anxiety' and all this other stuff. Basically I found things that I could relate to in them.

 

Kids tv shows and movies should also explore these things.

originally posted on 24-11-2014 8:40 PM

@stonepixie thats a great idea! I think when kids see things talked about openly in the media it makes the discussion so much easier for them to ask for help or advice if they need it

originally posted on 24-11-2014 8:42 PM

Really awesome ideas about getting this discussion out into the open guys! 

On the flip side, what are some of the early warning signs of an abusive partner? 

originally posted on 24-11-2014 8:51 PM

These things may not be a warning sign on their own, but combined...

- Big romantic gestures at the beginning
- Wanting to quickly commit/INTENSE
- wanting you all to himself/JEALOUS
- Need for constant contact
- sweet and caring/then put you down - a cycle
- Will play the victim

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:16 PM

"These things may not be a warning sign on their own, but combined...

- Big romantic gestures at the beginning
- Wanting to quickly commit/INTENSE
- wanting you all to himself/JEALOUS
- Need for constant contact
- sweet and caring/then put you down - a cycle
- Will play the victim"

 

Ugh, that just completely described the worst relationship I ever had. Every single thing on that list, happened. I didn't really get that it was emotional abuse until after it was over. 😞

 

On the plus side, that relationship taught me a lot about what a bad relationship is and what kind of warning signals to watch out for in the future!

 

blithe

 

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:21 PM

it's awful that you had to go through that @blithe , but it's great that you've found the positive in learning from it 🙂

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:27 PM

The best thing you can do is to remain in contact and try to counter-balance the isolation they are currently experiencing. No matter if you feel disappointed or you don't understand why they are staying or not understanding why they are doing what they are doing... Just keep in contact and keep the lines of communications open and most importantly don't judge them and let them know that you don't judge & you respect them.

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:30 PM

It's really great to know that you are all so supportive of victims of abuse, it's a really great start in changing the rates of violence women in Australia suffer 

Campaigns like White Ribbon Day and HeForShe have done important work in recent years around men’s accountability for ending violence – encouraging non-violent men to stand up and speak up. What are the things that young guys can do to end violence, and what are the barriers for them doing it?

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:40 PM

Has anyone seen Emma Watson's HeForShe speech ? It came out not too long ago. It's about gender equity, but a part of that is violence against women. I definitely think she hits the nail on the head - violence against women is everyone's issue. It's not just women who are abused or women who might be abused. We all have to stand up and use our voices, like we have tonight.

 

   

 

 

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:42 PM

@KitKat Yes, Emma Watson's speech was so amazing! It's awesome to see so many famous women right now are using their status for good causes 😄

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:34 PM

Campaigns like White Ribbon Day and HeForShe have done important work in recent years around men’s accountability for ending violence – encouraging non-violent men to stand up and speak up. What are the things that young guys can do to end violence, and what are the barriers for them doing it?

 

Calling their mates out on it. But then that might isolate them from their friends group, especially if they are just doing it for 'a laugh'.

 

They can learn about what constitutes as an abusive relationship and become aware of their own actions.

If they see it happening on the streets, voice their concerns

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:37 PM

Here's a good one: http://whatmencando.net/

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:43 PM

Well here's a handy list!!
http://au.reachout.com/domestic-violence-support

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:46 PM

1800 RESPECT is really amazing - whether you are in a situation or you are worried about someone else you can webchat 24/7 or call and speak to a counsellor... (domestic or family violence, relationship violence and/or sexual assault)

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:37 PM

@stonepixie Calling out mates when they perpetuate crappy ideas about DV/are abusive is so important, I think it's especially effective to hear it coming from a close friend.

originally posted on 24-11-2014 9:17 PM

Such a common process @blithe - even when you know all the theory sometimes you don't realise it when you are in it!

originally posted on 24-11-2014 8:50 PM

On the flip side, what are some of the early warning signs of an abusive partner?

 

• Wants to know where you are, ALL the time.
• Jealousy
• Someone who looses their temper quickly
• Blames others for their problems
• Bombards you with txts in a short space of time
• Spying on you
• Sabotaging you
• critises you to the point that you start doubting yourself
• Making you feel guilty about things.

originally posted on 24-11-2014 8:47 PM

On the flip side, what are some of the early warning signs of an abusive partner?

 

I deifnitely think a huge warning sign is feeling like you can't talk to your partner about something (including things like their behaviour). Communication is a huge, huge part of a healthy relationship. 

originally posted on 24-11-2014 8:51 PM

Another big warning sign I've seen in abusive relationships is when the abuser starts to isolate their partner, by doing things like not letting them see/talk to their loved ones or by telling them that other people don't want to be involved with them, which only makes it harder for them to seek help.

originally posted on 24-11-2014 8:35 PM

It seems like issuses like healthy / unhealthy relationships should be taught in sex-ed!  How else can we make sure we all see examples of healthy relationships and learn about them throughout our lives?

 

I think parents need to take a big role in teaching kids what makes up a healthy relationship, both by talking about it and treating one another well. Abuse and unhealthy behaviour can be so taboo to talk about, it would be great if we could take that out of the conversation 🙂

originally posted on 24-11-2014 8:15 PM

@redhead I love hearing about solid rolemodels! I think it's really cool that some of them came from your community as well!

originally posted on 24-11-2014 8:17 PM

Awesome to know that you've all learned about healthy (and unhealthy) relationships from that people in you life!

 So – what are the types of things that make up a healthy relationship?

originally posted on 24-11-2014 8:21 PM

– what are the types of things that make up a healthy relationship?

 

• treated with respect
• takes you seriously
• praises you instead of tearing you down
• listens to you
• You are both putting in 100% to the relationship