originally posted on 01-08-2016 9:42 PM

How are you @joy101, thanks for joining us! 1st post ever, congrats!

originally posted on 01-08-2016 9:41 PM

Hey @joy101! Great answer, and i think we agree with your points, although i think I am also hearing from @j95 and @tsnyder that it's okay to take a little time to share your expectations with eachother. What do you think? How soon should you share? 

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:15 PM

This just came up on my facebook feed and thought it would be relevant to this discussion haha

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:01 PM

And we're live! Hey everybody!  

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:07 PM

Welcome everyone! Tonight’s Getting Real session is focused on relationships – including discussing what we expect, what we think they require, and how we can maintain a happy health partnership.  Relationships are obviously an enormous part of our lives, but can be full of difficulties.  We’d really love to hear what you think about relationships, and what you have learnt from your experiences. 

Before we get started, take a look at our Community Guidelines if you haven’t already, and if things get a bit intense for you, check out our Emergency Help resources. 

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:03 PM

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:08 PM

Hey @j95, thanks for joining us man, really great to have you here.  How are you going?

(Also sorry about the delay, my brain is operating slowly today)

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:09 PM

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:14 PM

What does your ideal relationship look like?

That's such a tricky one! I think for me my ideal relationship is about being able to communicate openly and freely about stuff, even tough stuff. I like intimacy, that might be sexual stuff, but also other stuff that's not necessary related to sexuality like just being physically close to a person or saying stuff  to build eachother up. I don't think i should rely on someone else to meet my needs, and i don't really like the idea of someone else relying on me, but it's cool to have someone who understands what you're passionate about and cheers you on, and vice versa.

Something like that anyway, but I think there's probably more than one ideal relationship for me that I'd be pretty happy in!  

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:16 PM

Also i said "stuff" like 40 times in the last post, so clearly "stuff" is an important part of my ideal relationship 😛 

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:17 PM

Hmm both of you guys talk about judgement, what does judgement look like in a relationship? Can you give an example (you can make one up if you don't want to draw on personal experience!) 

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:24 PM

haha @j95 niiice

I want to feel free to be myself, so for example, I like to laugh at myself because I can be a bit of a goober sometimes, so someone who would laugh too, rather than frown at me.  That might be the worst explanation of all time but I hope it gets some of the point across

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:25 PM

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:26 PM

Next question!

What makes the difference between a friendship, casual sex or intimacy and a romantic relationship?

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:32 PM

What makes the difference between a friendship, casual sex or intimacy and a romantic relationship?

This can be a really interesting talking point, but in my opinion, a romantic relationship is with someone who you really like (heaps) plus you have that intimacy.  You feel reassured and comfortable but really excited and eager at the same time.  Casual sex is pretty obvious (you don't feel that strongly for the other person), and a friendship is like someone who you know will always have your back

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:35 PM

That's cool @tsnyder you know your answer makes me realise that literally every single person on the planet is going to have a different answer for this question! I know some people who don't like intimacy at all but are romantic, for example!  

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:41 PM

@Ben-RO I like to tell myself that my parents don't like intimacy and that I was brought here by a pigeon

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:43 PM

@tsnyder likewise, and if my parent's did have to have sex, then they only did it 4 times, once for each of my siblings and I. And that's it!  

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:47 PM

@Ben-RO bad thoughts!!

originally posted on 01-08-2016 8:43 PM

I guess the key is to make sure both people are on the same page then?