[CHAT] Families!
Families are a funny bunch.
But funnily enough, they also come in many shapes and sizes. Your parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, mothers, fathers, step- and half-relatives, friends, pets, co-workers, partners, boyfriends, girlfriends, massive, small, party of oneā¦the list really does go on forever!
The idea of family can mean different things to different people, so itās not the same for everyone. Family does not necessarily mean just your blood ties (people that youāre related to) Thereās not just one kind of family or one āidealā or a āconventionalā view on what that may be. Besides, whatās conventional anyway? š So itās important to acknowledge and respect that families span, far and wide.
Whether this is having people you are close to who care about you, and have your back during tough times, itās also about recognising that youād reciprocate that too. Families have many ways in showing love and compassion for each other in whimsical ways. From buying family blocks of chocolate together, going out and spending time with each other, to signing up for an IKEA Family card or joking around, the joys of chilling out with the fambam is invaluable. However, even if you may consider some people as āfamilyā, it doesnāt mean that they should be feel entitled to favours or respect when theyāre being a d-bag about everything.
It does come to a point where thereās a fine line to draw when helping family out and blood ties are not necessarily the strongest kind of relationship. Helping someone out with a big move, lending money, doing errands, and tasks that may be seen as small things do build up in the end. For those in the know, you may have heard the tutt-tutts and the headshakes when you point out the double-standards or you decide to say ānoā to carrying out familial tasks.
You might have heard:
Yes, truly and surely ā it can be easy to shrug it off and initially feel reluctant to put your foot down. But this kind of behaviour can be problematic and itās important for you and everyone to recognise that. Itās even more important to do some self-care in the process and set some boundaries too. So how do we avoid this, and moreso, how do we deal with it when it becomes worse?
Chat to someone like a counsellor, psychologist, or a social worker, a trusted person outside of the family sphere, or a friend for advice and see how to go about it. Family isnāt exempt from bad behaviour blues and avoiding responsibilities!
But despite this, it doesnāt mean that this canāt improve either! Being a part of a family offers support unlike any other group of people that you may have encountered. Even if it is eating family blocks of chocolate together š
***Whether you have an awesome or not-so-awesome family, looking for advice to help out a friend dealing with their fam, or reluctant to tell your rellies that theyāve gone too far - we want to hear from you! Join us to chat about helping out your friends on Monday 11 May at 8pm, AEST! We'll be talking about how families come in all shapes and sizes!****
Its possible that family members sometimes donāt do the nicest or most caring things. Have you ever experienced this? Or do you know someone who has?
I haven't always had a great relationship with my sister, a lot of things happend between us and she always made me feel left out or like she didn't want anything to do with me, also she liked to ruin my parties or make me feel bad.
6. If you have, or if you know someone who has, what did you/they do about it?
I stood up to her one birthday and let out everything I felt about what was happening and what she was doing, since then she has made more of an effort and I'm a lot more opinionated
Discussing the issues at hand and trying to find solutions is one way of going about it. Some families can get into a bit of denial that their behaviour is problematic, which really sucks at times. I think it's also up to personal discretion in how far problem-solving can go too. Growing up, I had to break down a lot of doors (literally and figuratively) to show that what they did wasn't great. It was then that coming up with solutions was on the table. Over time, it has been slow but it's been good 
My mum is always throwing snide comments at my dad. They are still married and live under the same roof. What I used to see as venting is now just fustrating irritatining and annoying. Most of the time I just ignore it because of how fragile the family dynamic is.
6. If you have, or if you know someone who has, what did you/they do about it?
Finnally found the courage to speak to someone about how things werent right and I'm so glad I did, best thing I have ever done for sure!
@j95 That's so kind of you!! He must be glad to have a brother like you!!
So many of us seem to have great family members who want to do nice things for us/with us. With that being said...
Its possible that family members sometimes donāt do the nicest or most caring things. Have you ever experienced this? Or do you know someone who has?
I've heard plenty of stories of parents being too pushy with their kids' education, especially in high school. In uni, not so much, especially for me. My parents really took a step back after I graduated high school
It's possible that family members sometimes donāt do the nicest or most caring things. Have you ever experienced this? Or do you know someone who has?
I can go for eons! But I've heard about the general pushiness about education, how you should live your life or just comparing you to other people who are allegedly 'better than you'. I think that there's also a clash of beliefs and aspirations as well that can go under the critical gaze of family members.
and also my little brother dropped around after school and i helped him out with a school assignment and return he paid for our dinner.
@Myvo I do wonder about that as well. My parents often remind me of how hard they worked for my sis and I, so in a way I feel bad about taking more from them than I already have
I'm about to go away and visit my family of music friends and all that! I was supposed to go today but you can blame a footy injury for that! I'm so excited to go and catch up and meet new people too š
@j95 Gosh, nothing's stopping you to have fun! Fantastic that despite your footy injury, you'll make your way to visit them 
@Dreamer 95 that's so lovely of them! It's a wonderful feeling knowing your family has your back in times of need
Have your family done anything fun or nice recently for you, or with you?
Mine is similar to yours @Myvo!! My dad recently tried to lend me some money to buy a new coat because he was worried I wasn't warm enough in winter, which was weirdly out of character for him since I haven't asked for money ever since I started working. I ended up not taking it, but I was still touched that he offered
@safari93 Do you think that we kinda feel bad as a means to reciprocate or to give back? I do wonder about that sometimes.
@N1ghtW1ng I feel you, sometimes you just want to eat an entire batch of cookies 
But as a family, we're in contact with each other.
@j95 that's so considerate of you! It's nice to have good relationships with a few of your blood family, even if most of them aren't so great
@j95 Awesome that you help out your aunt with shopping and unpacking it! Hope she knows that her nephew is a super star 
