[CHAT]: Sad feels - how to deal
The chat will kick off at 8pm AEST, Monday 8th of August 2016.
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It’s normal to feel down or sad at different times, and for a whole range of reasons. In fact, most people feel sadness at some time or other in their lives.
Society tells us that we must feel happy all the time in order to live a healthy and successful life, but life has ups and downs, so it’s impossible to remain happy all the time. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes especially in response to stressful life events, but usually these feelings go away with time.
Feeling sad can look like crying, losing interest in activities that you used to enjoy, changes in sleeping patterns and/or appetite and withdrawing from others.
It can be difficult to know what to do when sadness becomes a problem, and when to seek help if feeling down is impacting on other aspects of your life. We might feel guilty or ashamed about feeling sad (even though these feelings are very common!) which can make it harder to cope. Luckily, there are many strategies that we can use manage these feelings, and look after our wellbeing.
Join myself and @Myvo on Monday 8th August at 8pm AEST to talk about how to manage and cope when you feel sad.
The chat will kick off at 8pm AEST, Monday 8th of August 2016.
Log in and High Five this post for an email reminder. Tell us what you'd like to talk about by clicking "Reply".
I like that answer a lot @redhead because i think that people often only have the coping mechanisms they have when they start on their journey, and sure some coping mechanisms can be pretty bad, but they're also a sign of the person doing thier best in an extremely tough situation. It makes talking all the more important!
What helps with chronic or long term sads, what might not help so much?
What helps is being surrounded by supportive people in a supporting environment, being listened to about your needs or how to plan working on yourself, hugs, self-care and relaxation, and seeking help from health professionals. What doesn't help are unsupportive peeps, negative self-talk and coping strategies, having your feelings put down and/or invalidated by others, and ruminating.
Maybe something to think about @redhead (or you might get some ideas as the chat goes along)?
Time for the next question!
Sometimes, we may feel sad and might find it hard to explain it to others. What tips could you give to others when supporting someone who’s feeling an off day?
People can be well-meaning sometimes, especially when they know you're feeling down.
Some tips that I can suggest are:
- Don't prod - Not everyone knows why they're sad. There could be some signs that you could probably 'suss' out but it's important to not suggest that you know one better than that person.
- Listen - They might want to say how they feel, they might not
- Be patient - Feeling the sads can really affect how someone carries out tasks and you gotta be patient when they're feeling off
@j95 @N1ghtW1ng night! Thank you both for joining in - hope you get some good rest tonight.
@Myvo trampolining sounds awesome as! I think I need to give it a go 
Hmm, i don't think it's all on you or anyone else who has more than just happy stuff to share @redhead. We could lall earn more about acceptng the full spectrum of emotions from the people we care about. So for me I am learning to be okay with leaving an opening for my friends to have a sad when they need to and interestingly i am now more comfortable with having a sad around them in return.
@redhead talking about sad feels with a professional is a great place to start! What are some things that could make opening up to other people in your life a little easier?
It's alright, @redhead. You might not know what could make things easier at the moment and that's ok. We move at different paces. What are some tips that you might have for someone who's trying to support someone who's feeling sad?
Sometimes, we may feel sad and might find it hard to explain it to others. What tips could you give to others when supporting someone who’s feeling an off day?
Just leave the door open and the welcome mat out. In other words, just let them know that you're okay with a sad time and you don't mind if things are a little different. Do lots of listening, and asking about needs, probably don't try and "fix" things, it rarely works that way!
What are some signs that things are little more serious than just an off day or two?
Time and triggers! If you're sad a lot and often, or if there's no particular reason for how much sadness you're feeling, things might be a little more serious and doings something as simple as having a chat to someone (like literally anyone here on the forums) about what to do next might help you help find some options and some solutions too!
@j95 so many self-care options 
exercise is a fantastic form of self care, and a great way to look after yourself when you're feeling down.
Totally agree, @khaleesi_18 đŸ™‚
Lately, I've been indulging in 'exercise that is not exercise'. People usually think about exercise as sweating it out at the gym but you can get active in other ways too - like adventure sports, skating, trampolining, pole-dancing, dancing, etc.
It's all good, @N1ghtW1ng. Hope you manage to rest up! Have a good night đŸ˜„
Hey @thatkidwithADHD welcome to our chat tonight. Sorry to hear that things have been tough for you lately.
Just a quick heads up, we've had to edit your posts a bit to be in line with our community guidelines (you can have a read of them here). You haven't done anything wrong - just wanted to let you know.
Hey @j95! Thanks for stopping by (omg accidental Anchorman quote...!)
What self-care do you do when you feel sad or having a bad day?
Something to acknowledge here is that sometimes it's hard to remember to do self-care when you're having a bad day. But you are worthwhile, and deserve to be safe/look after yourself.
Distractions like watching TV and chilling out are great self-care strategies @N1ghtW1ng
@redhead I've probably said this to you on the forums before, but your self care strategies are so awesome.
I just turned 15 and Well I mean i'm not sad,or angry,or happy.
Basically long story short. My psychologist has told me that I have something called a 'defensive mechanism'. Basically I've had enough crap of kids picking on me at school that I stopped feeling sad when they picked on me. It has gotten worse though. Now I honestly don't know how to turn it off. My psychologist is giving me techniques and stuff.
Anyway my paediatrician has told me that this may be because of the flux of medication in the last two weeks.
I was on this one medication however it wasn't working so i've changed to a different one and have tried a lot of different doses, however because i'm skinny my body digests it quicker and the 'slow release' gets broken down faster.
eh well just felt like explaining that.
Hey @thatkidwithADHD
Thanks for joining us tonight. Glad that you're pretty self-aware of your emotions and that you're working everything through with your psych. What are some self-care tips that you've used to cope when you're experiencing negative feelings?
@redhead completely - feeling down can absolutely look like that.
@Myvo @N1ghtW1ng that's a really good point - feeling sad can look totally different from one person to the next. Some people project their emotions outward, while others become more introspective. And others might try to not show it at all.
Sadness is not necessarily bawling your eyes out. What are some signs that you or someone else is feeling down?
Withdrawing from others, being irritable and snappy, tiredness or feeling as though everything is an effort, losing interest in activities that you've previously enjoyed doing - these are all changes in behaviour that could prompt you to ask someone R U OK?
Hey all!! I'm just popping by for a few minutes to answer one or two questions.
for me signs that I'm not ok can be...
Going unusually quiet and withdrawing from others, or being very angry and snappy.
I generally want to be on my own - a little too much.
