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Live Getting Real: What does success look like to you? 23rd of March, 7:30 pm
Hey Everyone!
This coming Monday we're having a live chat in the evening about What success looks like to you!
We're all super different and value different things in life, and the yardstick by which we measure our own and others' accomplishments can vary a lot!
People can sometimes expect others to strive for the same goals as them, and make others feel like they're coming up short when they aren't. But there are lots of ways to define success, it's all about what's right for you!
Whether your goals have to do with school, work, family, or hobbies - they're all important, just different! To have more of a discussion on What Success looks like to you, join us on Monday the 23rd of March at 7:30 pm AEDT!
@Hozzles Thinking of the big picture and the positives helps me too! I also reward myself for the effort. I used to not plan anything work-related for the rest of the day after I finished my exams to give myself a break.
@WheresMySquishy i really like the list idea!
It seems like a really concrete way of refuting your brain when its being mean. There's evidence of what you've accomplished right in front of you!
It can be frustrating and disheartening being made to feel like you're not meeting other people's versions of success, how do you cope with that?
I try to remind myself that I'm my own person, who has their own values and aspirations. If that's not good enough for other people, that's on them not me! (easier said than done though :P)
I'm lucky to have a lot of like-minded people around me, it makes me feel less like an anomally 😄
3.As a society, do you think we tend to place a lot of emphasis on certain types of accomplishments? What impact do you think that this has on our mental health?
3. As a society, do you think we tend to place a lot of emphasis on certain types of accomplishments? What impact do you think that this has on our mental health?
Great question! As much as I don't like it and want to throw in the towel many times, caring for my family members has provided me with a lot of skills and knowledge and taught me patience and empathy. It has helped me grow as a person. But unpaid or family carers tend to get looked down a lot by society. There have been times where I've felt that our opinion as carers is not valid or has been overlooked or dismissed because I'm not part of a health profession. I find that a lot of people, particularly in the medical profession, think they know more about what treatments would be effective than patients and carers. It has been really frustrating trying to explain that a particular treatment hasn't worked before, only for the staff to continue pushing it onto us or insisting that we keep trying even though it isn't effective.
I also think that people with disabilities can struggle a lot with this, especially when other people think that they are inspiring. It can make them feel bad about themselves during days when they're not able to accomplish anything, or just can't get out of bed.
3.As a society, do you think we tend to place a lot of emphasis on certain types of accomplishments? What impact do you think that this has on our mental health?
short answer: yessssssssssssssssssssssssss
long answer: definitely! there's a lot of pressure for people to value certain things and meet certain expectations at different stages! For example, going to uni and getting a "good" job, starting a family etc.
The flipside of this is that when you don't meet these standards (or dont want to!!!) you can be made to feel (even if its not on purpose) like you're falling behind and it can make you feel like shit about yourself 😞 It makes you feel like a failure or like you're not good enough and that's really rotten
@Hozzles I've heard a theory that society considers certain events to be 'on time' and other events to be 'out of time'. I think it is called the social clock theory. I think that certain events can be more devastating when they're considered to be 'out of time', such as having an unexpected death in your family or dealing with a sudden illness in the prime of your life.
@WheresMySquishy that's true, thinking life always has to follow a certain order just isn't realistic as it doesn't take into account any unexpected events that might come your way. Maybe people who don't follow a social clock may cope better with unexpected events? It'd be some good grounds for research, if it hasn't been researched already!
It can be frustrating and disheartening being made to feel like you're not meeting other people's versions of success, how do you cope with that?
It's definitely a struggle! I'm often really hard on myself as I feel far behind my peers -- I still don't know how to drive, I'm still at uni when I should have graduated ages ago... I could go on forever! But it's important to remember that, like I said, the big successes can't come without the small ones. When everyone else was taking on the big successes, I took the time to take care of my mental health -- and that's okay! I'm still young, and still have time.
@Hozzles I know plenty of people who graduated from uni later in life. I think they're a lot more successful than I am, even though I graduated 'on time'! I think that taking longer to complete a degree or doing it later in life can have its advantages. I actually wish I had taken a gap year, gotten a job or done a TAFE course before going to uni. I think it would have helped to provide me with life experience and stand out amongst other job or course applicants.
@WheresMySquishy yeah, as much as it hurts my innate social clock I'm finding it a lot easier to do uni a few subjects at a time, while working on my volunteering and other experiences. It prolongs the learning experiences, and just the support of uni! Where there's cons there's usually also always pros, too!
@WheresMySquishy that's really interesting! I've never thought of 'out of time' events in that way before!
Has there been a time where your version of success was different from someone else's? Do you think this is good/bad/both/neither?
Hmmm... I think this goes both ways. For example, I can set really high expectations of myself, and someone could come up to me and be proud of me but I'd still think that I failed or hadn't really achieved. On the other hand, I could be proud of myself for doing a small thing, for example writing a sentence on an essay I'm struggling with, and someone might say that's not really an achievement sine I hadn't done the essay. I think it might come down to considering how realistic the initial goal was to decide if it's a good or a bad thing that your version of success differs. Like I said before though, if it gives you a sense of pride -- then your goal is probably a good thing, and no one should make you feel bad about it because we're all different!
Has there been a time where your version of success was different from someone else's? Do you think this is good/bad/both/neither?
I think it's more than okay for us all to have different ideas of what success entails, it's when people start trying to impose their opinions on other people that it can start to become negative 😞 For some people starting a job straight out of school is important, for others it might be getting into a certain uni, and like @WheresMySquishy and @Hozzles mentioned, for some people just getting out of bed is what they're focused on right now. All of that is equally valid, and people deserve to have their paths respected not disapproved of 🙂
How do you personally define success? Can you think of different kinds/ different levels? (e.g. big successes vs small successes)
I think success is meeting goals you've set for yourself or feeling fulfilled in certain areas of life! It doesn't have to be something huge like coming first in your year level, it can also be doing your best in a subject you struggle with-that's also success to me!
How do you personally define success? Can you think of different kinds/ different levels? (e.g. big successes vs small successes)
Really... any accomplishment that makes you feel a sense of pride in yourself, no matter how big or small the task. I feel when most people think of 'success' they think of achieving their dreams, having all the best rewards, etc. But of course, there's different levels to success! For example, even just getting out of bed or tiding your room can be a success, and that's as valid as the 'big' successes and can make you feel just as proud!
@Hozzles and @WheresMySquishy such good points! 😄 success can be big or small, short or long-term. If it's important to you and makes you feel good about yourself then goal = kicked!
All on the same page for this one ahaha