Live Getting Real: What does success look like to you? 23rd of March, 7:30 pm
Hey Everyone!
This coming Monday we're having a live chat in the evening about What success looks like to you!
We're all super different and value different things in life, and the yardstick by which we measure our own and others' accomplishments can vary a lot!
People can sometimes expect others to strive for the same goals as them, and make others feel like they're coming up short when they aren't. But there are lots of ways to define success, it's all about what's right for you!
Whether your goals have to do with school, work, family, or hobbies - they're all important, just different! To have more of a discussion on What Success looks like to you, join us on Monday the 23rd of March at 7:30 pm AEDT!
Yessss I always love these! Here we gooooo
How do you personally define success? Can you think of different kinds/ different levels? (e.g. big successes vs small successes)
I think the definition of success is actually really intimate and personal for everybody, and highly contextual. For example, in tough times or during a seasonal depression, getting out of bed might be a success-big or small relative to other things. In times of relative ease, getting out of bed is subsumed completely by bigger things like getting homework done. Success is framed by context and perspective; that's what keeps it authentic, you see?
Absolutely. See above. But different versions of success are all special and valid and productive. It's important to see this as an unequivocally good thing as it helps us celebrate our uniqueness, especially in the face of social pressures, cultural pressures, social media and the like which sell us a cookie cutter of what 'true' success apparently should look like.
The impact can be something we have to deal with slowly, and with thought and compassion. Seeking validation for your accomplishments is something you shouldn't have to do alone. Especially since a lot of the emphasis society places on certain accomplishments is done subconsciously as well as consciously.
It can be frustrating and disheartening being made to feel like you're not meeting other people's versions of success, how do you cope with that?
I'll let you know when I cope with it productively, as I do struggle with this a little-comparison, self-doubt, self-validation and all that jazz. There is so much pressure on young adults, young women and femmes, and students after all! It's hard work and exhausting.
Has there been a time where you felt unworthy of a success? How did you cope with this feeling?
All the time- I have to remind myself that I earnt x or y fair and square. I stick to the facts and try and be objective. I don't let subjective negativity in.
I'm not one to receive praise, I'm too damn awkward hahaa. But I treat myself, I take a break, I self care, and just chill.
Can you find a GIF/picture/meme of what success looks like for you?
This one, coz the journey of working hard towards a goal and being united with people in achieving the goal is half the fun!
Did I really just do A Beychella themed GR response? Yes, I did! She is such a beacon of what hard work and well-earnt success looks like after all.
Can't wait for this one! 
Tagging some people who may be interested!
@Tiny_leaf @xXLexi_Lou122Xx @Bananatime04 @Anonymous @aebarrie12@Animallover2003 @Anzelmo @ayrc_1904 @Brendos94 @drpenguin @ecla34 @Eden1717 @goldilocks @Anonymous @keezeik @liv1611 @lokifish @MB95 @MisoBear @Pasta @Saltwaterdreamtime @scared01 @SomeoneNADJS @spacejam @Tay100 @trashconverters @WheresMySquishy @wolvesrunfree
Hello all! 
Welcome to tonight's GR, we're chatting about what does success look like for you?
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Woop!
Time for the first round! 😄
How do you personally define success? Can you think of different kinds/ different levels? (e.g. big successes vs small successes)
Sorry for the serial tagging, but here are my responses in one spot:
How do you personally define success? Can you think of different kinds/ different levels? (e.g. big successes vs small successes)
@Hozzles Wow you read my mind here. Validity is such a crucial concept, huh?
@ecla34 yeah, like improvement and growth can also be a success. Not just the extra 'exciting' stuff!
@WheresMySquishy collaboration and teamwork is key for sure- so can taking advantage of what you have around you, for sure!
@ecla34 yeah it's really sad that people drag others down instead of being a source of support or encouragement. It can be annoying, it can also be heartbreaking depending on the goal.
@Hozzles yes I love that- your opinion comes first!
@WheresMySquishy so relatable! We just gotta keep doing our own thing and listen to those we trust! Except when it comes to uni stuff, by god, then yeah, a clear message would be nice hey?!
@ecla34 yes, I hate that double edged sword, like everyone's choices are equally valid and exciting and ughhh
@WheresMySquishy it's really tricky- and it's so rarely discussed. We need better education on this!
@Hozzles man, we could start a whole thread on what success looks like according to different systems and institutions, you raise so many good points here!
It can be frustrating and disheartening being made to feel like you're not meeting other people's versions of success, how do you cope with that?
@ecla34 having a like-minded tribe is key, you said it!
@WheresMySquishy the carer life is a many handed one. We are here for you!
@Hozzles mental health care is THE success of the day, so go you!
Has there been a time where you felt unworthy of a success? How did you cope with this feeling?
@Hozzles yes we should celebreate more! We should encourage each other more
@WheresMySquishy opportunities that arise from chance or circumstance are still great, I relate to you here 🙂
@Hozzles OMG, 'REWARD CAKE' love it!!!
@WheresMySquishy ugh I miss walking around shopping centres right now, one of my fav forms of self care 😕
@ecla34 Yep, like proper vegging out and not moving for 2 hours heheee
Can you find a GIF/picture/meme of what success looks like for you?
Love all the gifs, we are truly so creative 🙂
How do you personally define success? Can you think of different kinds/ different levels? (e.g. big successes vs small successes)
I think that success is achieving a goal. I personally find it really helpful to celebrate little achievements, like managing to get through a difficult exam or getting out of bed when you don't feel like facing the day. To me, those are successes. They don't have to be as major as getting a job or getting an academic award, but they are still successes. Sometimes, we achieve these successes through hard work, sometimes it just comes down to luck and sometimes other people help us achieve them. But at the end of the day, it's still a success. 🙂
@WheresMySquishy exactly, we can't really achieve the big successes without the tiny ones!
Next question!
Has there been a time where your version of success was different from someone else's? Do you think this is good/bad/both/neither?
I think so. I really like when people I've supported through my volunteer work tell me how much they appreciate what I've done for them. It makes me feel good about myself and I consider it a success. But some of my family members don't consider my volunteering to be valid because I don't get paid for it.
I also think this comes into play during selection processes, whether it is a job, selective school or course. I think different places that you apply for can have different definitions of success. I remember being dumbfounded about not getting into a selective course when one of my friends did in a previous year, when our grades are the same, my experience was much more relevant and extensive than theirs and some of our accomplishments were the same. It just goes to show that what people are looking for varies year by year or is dependent on other factors.
I think that it can be a good thing when someone tells you that you've accomplished something that you haven't thought of, especially if you're feeling down about yourself.
@WheresMySquishy that's another complicated point -- recognizing that employers/ schools/ etc all have different definitions of success! It's not really far, is it? 
@WheresMySquishy it can feel a bit up in the air sometimes, can't it? What different people expect from applications and assignments, it's like PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT 
@ecla34 I know what you mean! I once applied for a job that asked for a minimum of a year's experience. They interviewed me only to reject me in favour of applicants with 'a lot more experience'. I asked them how much experience were they looking for but they wouldn't tell me. Shrug!
@Hozzles I agree! There have also been times where I've thought I've written a really great assignment, only to receive a pass.
@WheresMySquishy @ecla34 ugh, especially when it seems to differ between each person marking it! Some people are really harsh markers, other's are more lenient... so annoying!
@Hozzles I think that it really depends on the marker too. I remember taking two classes that were both run by the same person, and I would only receive passes for my reports in them, when I would receive high marks for my reports in other related subjects I was taking. It was so frustrating!
Yes, absolutely! There's always the pressure to be the best: the smartest, the strongest... whatever. And it's everywhere -- from the ATARs at the end of year 12 (compared to the rest of the state... sounds awesome!), to how we get selected for jobs... the list goes on! It can do so much damage to your mental health -- I always notice a downward pattern in my mental health whenever uni is on, especially around assignment time, just because I'm putting so much pressure on myself. 
And even on the small stuff -- I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this, but sometimes I won't even try things because I know if I'll do there's a chance I'll 'mess up'. But a secret: no one really learns without messing up!
@Hozzles @ecla34 I totally agree! I tend to do badly when I put a lot of pressure on myself and try to be a perfectionist. In life, we will always go through setbacks and many of them aren't our fault. Especially with the coronavirus situation happening right now, many people have lost their jobs or been thinking about having to take up jobs that aren't in their field just to survive, and have had to redefine their definition of success. I think that society should be more understanding of circumstances like these.
@WheresMySquishy that's so true -- it's a vicious cycle. The more I submit to perfectionist tendencies, the more pressure I put on myself, and the worse I end up! And so right about this current situation -- it's affected so much!
The next question follows on really nicely from what we've been talking about so i'll post it now!
It can be frustrating and disheartening being made to feel like you're not meeting other people's versions of success, how do you cope with that?
