My favourite daytime drama: Facebook
With the advance of technology and the efficiency of the internet, sharing your 2 cents has never been easier. Too many times, I’ve caught myself thinking how would I word that into a Facebook status or what instagram effects to apply on my photo to achieve the most ‘likes’? Since the launch of social media, there is a popular trend of online communication. This also include the old fashion emails, blogs (and now vblogs), podcast and forums. The down-side of online communication is that we lack body cues that would otherwise help us get the full picture of the message. It is times like this when we could get a bit stuck.
Have you ever come across a post on Twitter or Facebook where it triggered a nerve in you? Messages online could easily be misinterpreted and tension could occur into real life relationships. This is because we don’t see the reaction of our audience, this makes us ignorant of the impact things we share online have on others. On the other hand, if we are discussing a deep and at times embarrassing issue, it helps to not have that face-to-face contact. There are definitely pros and cons to social media, what other ones could you think of?
It is important to be able to utilise online communication in a safe and effective manner. What happens online could potentially cut and paste into our real lives. So on Monday 3rd of June 8pm AEST, we will get together and discuss the issues around social media. What impact does it have on us as social beings? Are we benefitting from being in cyberspace all the time, or are we missing out on present day life? What do you think of people who tweet about a fire in the building when they should be evacuating it? I want to hear your thoughts!
See you all there!
@_sagira_ wrote:Yes I agree with the whole twitter thing. I don't have that many friends on twitter, so I can be more open and honest with whatever I want to say. I used twitter as a venting tool. I only post more positive, interesting things on FB.
Agreed, that is exactly how I use twitter and FB too. Twitter is my vent space, FB is my happy space.
What do you do when you see a post that is triggering or offensive?
Try to ignore/ hide it and distract myself. Or write a reply and then delete it. I'm a hot-headed aries so if I reply I can sometimes go off on a rant without thinking it through so it's best if I remove myself, haha.
@Sophie...touche! That's a perfect example,
I also completely know what you mean about deleting a post because it hasn't met your amount of 'likes' expectations.
Have you shared too much online? How did you feel after?
I haven't ever really seen many.
With the few I have, usually I just stay out of it, because I know I'll get more worked up for getting involved in the comments than I would if I just left it to other people.
Have you shared too much online? How did you feel after?
I am a lot more open and honest online, and say things I could never say to people verbally. Well I could...but only to a select few. Sometimes I might say something and rethink it and remove it. I can feel like a bit of an idiot and beat myself up about stuff if I feel I've been a little stupid.
Because in real life, we can not unsay something that is said.
@Doris wrote:
@sagira (reply to 2nd Q) - thanks for sharing that last part, because I also recently started to remove things I've posted on fb thinking it was stupid. Do you think having the 'remove' button do more good than bad?
Because in real life, we can not unsay something that is said.
That's a hard question Doris! In some ways it is great because if we've said something nasty we can remove it before it's seen and does damage, but then in real life we can't take our words back. Though I think it does serve a good purpose online, because sometimes we are so raged, and being online the worst we can get hit with is words in that moment, so we don't really think the consequences through properly, though in real life if we said the same thing we could get relatiation in a physical manner. SO I'd say yes, being able to remove posts is good! 🙂
Doris wrote:
Do you think having the 'remove' button do more good than bad?
Because in real life, we can not unsay something that is said.
Well...I like that it's available to me. But also it means that I'm not really thinking what I have to say through. It's pretty much why I like texting and e-mailing, because I can edit what I say. Where as in real life...I say it and that's it, I can't ever take it back. It's gotten me in trouble, as recently as last week. I suffered badly for it pyschologically. I feel social media has made me a little less mindful of how I am in everyday life.
@birdeye...yes forums...and posting images. I've made some videos on youtube and I'm like...WHY? haha...I was actually watching them last night. Essentially they're fine. I just feel like a bit of a noob.
There is so much good and bad things happening, what can we do to protect ourselves from being victims?
That's a hard one, because sometimes you just can't protect yourself from being victim.
But if your sensibile with social media you shouldn't run into heaps of hassles. THe main points have been mentioned about oversharing and privacy settings. I think also going online to certain social media when your in a vulnerable state is only putting you at more of a risk to being a victim. It happened to me, I was already a bit upset and what would have been a little tiff turned into a big brawl which ended in a yelling session over the phone, and we didn't speak for days, It took me so long to get over it, I was upset, angry and frustrated because I just didn't understand how it had escalated so quickly!
What can we do to enjoy benefits on social media as well as stay attached to the offline world?
I think a balance is what is really needed. If we spend all our time online we loose a sense of what possibilities there is the 'offline' world. It can be hard to see life outside of online media if you're only on online media. I think arranging regular catch-ups is a good idea too. One of friends, only uses texts and facebook messaging to catch-up with people. He prefers the face to face communication. It's great that we have the ability to communicate with people at every time of the day, but do we really need to? I know I certainly love some me time, away from everyone else, a good book or just some timeto myself is really nice. Helps me stay grounded I think 🙂
@RUenhonx: Thanks, I feel like I'm still playing catch up though 😛 haha I forget how fast this thread moves MONDAY nights! ahhh *big breath* haha 🙂
@Sohpie: Thanks 🙂 yay for winning 😛
@_sagira_ wrote:
Well...I like that it's available to me. But also it means that I'm not really thinking what I have to say through. It's pretty much why I like texting and e-mailing, because I can edit what I say. Where as in real life...I say it and that's it, I can't ever take it back. It's gotten me in trouble, as recently as last week. I suffered badly for it pyschologically. I feel social media has made me a little less mindful of how I am in everyday life.
^ditto. Believe it or not, I got so used to the no-need-for-body-language communicate via social media that I forgot smiling or not smiling could impact on how people feel towards you. In fact I too got into trouble for not SMILING at work the other day. It also affected me psychologically. So yes, social media do make things more available and open for interpretation.
What do you do when you see a post that is triggering or offensive?
For me I would go 'WTF did I just see?' I then keep scrolling down the page, lol. Sometimes I have to hide the post if it too triggering. Some offensive make really trigger something and I throw myself into the debate (which may not always be a good idea). Arguments online are messy.
Email def counts. How do you feel after spending a few hours on them?
Happy Monday everyone 
Welcome to tonight’s getting real session and facilitating tonight’s session will be Doris, Sophie and I.
We’ll be discussing social media, what it means to us and how it affects our wellbeing and we will also share tips on how to stay safe online and to also connect with the online world as well as the offline world and keep our communication techniques strong.
As always if anything in tonight’s session upsets you in any way there’s an emergency help tab in the top right hand corner which we urge you to use. Also keep in mind that we want to keep this discussion safe for everyone so try to stick to the community guidelines. Thanks
So to start us off tonight lets bring on the first question
How often do you spend on social networking sites a day?
Hey guys, sounds like an interesting topic tonight.
Sorry I'm Late! Just joining in now...
Q. How often do you spend on social networking sites a day?
A. Uhh, I’d say an average of about an hour or two or three? I really have no clue! It'd be an interesting experiment to do... I spent an hour online at school, I had facebook open but wasn't using it, so I guess that counts as still being 'online' and I've been online since 8.30 and only just recently logged in to post 😛 There is a limited amount of sites I can access from my school laptop, but those I can (LIke RO!) I spend way too long on. I get so engrossed in reading posts, I waste all of my time 😛 oops
@Sophie, I think we spend so much time on social network because it acts likes a drug! We are wired in such a way that we want to know what everyone else is doing. I know when I was addicted to Facebook a few years back, I was constantly refreshing my homepage as though I’d have missed something ‘so great’ since the last time I refreshed it not even 5 mins ago!
@ruenhonx: I don't need to deactivate facebook to not go on it. I'm just never (rarely) on it! I found it was wayy to much drama. And it was only making me feel worse about myself, so I decided to see how long I can go without it. I log in maybe once or twice a week, I've logged in 3 times since last Wednesday! And I've just had a quick glance at a couple profiles (yes stalking 😛 ) and browse down my homepage, than out I am. I'm the silent facebooker, the last post I made was yonks ago, I can't even remember! haha.
Q. Have you shared too much online? How did you feel after?
A. Yes, a few times I have. Actually maybe all the time. I just love to ramble! I think I share more things here than I do in real life! Haha. But I’ve definitely gone overboard with some things… uh, sometimes I did feel better, other times not. Sometimes it was just the release of letting it out, which made me feel better, and knowing that someone had heard it. Though one time it backfired on me and only caused more fights, more judgement and worsened the already broken relationship – which to this day is still broken, and now non-existent….
@Sophie-RO wrote:Have you ever done that thing where you write a whole big post, then regret it and never post it? Or post it and regret it and delete it 2 seconds later!!?
Absolutely Sophie! I've done that so many times!
Welcome Bee 🙂 I agree Facebook is so much drama so many of my relationships/friendships have ended on Facebook.
@RUenhonx: It's kind of runny the title for tonights ses "My favourite daytime DRAMA: Facebook" Because in a lot of instances it really is a drama! haha. My take anyway 🙂
@Sohpie: It feels so good to be able to sit here tonight and answer the questions! It's been a while since I've been able to tackle a GR sesh without withdrawing and not having the energy to stay involved! Which is a win for me! 😄
@rue I agree too, that facebook has so much drama. I think it's sad that people end relationships over facebook, it's the 'easy way out' but people should just end relationships face to face, not over social media and, if they're not careful, where everyone can read it.
What negative impacts can social media have on us?
I think the biggest negative is how it can start taking up so much time and become addictive.
It can have a negative influence on self-esteem, like when you don't get as many likes as you'd like on a picture/post, or simply don't like a picture you've been tagged in.
It also can make you want to fit in more, sometimes in the wrong ways eg. overexposing your body.
@sagira - that is definitely being cyber-safe. Good point on the check-in option. It means ppl would know where to find you! I didn't think of that before...
There is so much good and bad things happening, what can we do to protect ourselves from being victims?
I think to begin with we have to use sense - don't add people you don't know, don't like or don't like you.
If someone's being mean to you online, delete them.
If things are continuing out of your control, tell someone who can help (report to the website, school, parents, police)
Don't get involved in things that you shouldn't, like when fights go on on a status.
Don't overshare, if you wouldn't be okay with you're entire school knowing it - don't post it, if you wouldn't be with your parents knowing you've done something - don't do it.
@N1ghtW1ng - yes the 'letting go is important'. Because there is no body language or emotion to support whats written online, misinterpretation could happen. It is easier to let it go if it is rude or mean, because there is a chance it wasn't suppose to be mean or rude. I find it is best to follow up on the person on what they actually meant 🙂
@Birdeye wrote:What negative impacts can social media have on us?
I think the biggest negative is how it can start taking up so much time and become addictive.It can have a negative influence on self-esteem, like when you don't get as many likes as you'd like on a picture/post, or simply don't like a picture you've been tagged in.
It also can make you want to fit in more, sometimes in the wrong ways eg. overexposing your body.
Yeah I have felt this was on some occasions. Especially if I have created an event and it seems like no one is interested. It makes me feel pretty pathetic and negative about my self worth.
