POSITIVE THINKING!!!
A pretty clever guy said this once: "whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right" (Henry Ford). Basically, what that means is that the outcomes of our actions essentially come down to the way that we think about them.
The way we think about ourselves and the world around us has a huge impact on how we end up feeling, and what we end up doing with our time. The hard part is that often, what we think is so cemented in our heads that regardless of whether it's actually accurate, it feels true. In a world driven by achievement in all areas: study, work, appearance, relationships - it can be easy to feel like we don't quite measure up. The danger with thinking that way is that if we get stuck in the cycle of thinking negatively about ourselves and the world, it can get in the way of doing the things we want to do.
Learning to challenge our negative thoughts and think about ourselves and the world more positively has a huge range of benefits: we feel better, our hopes feel more possible, and the world feels a bit more bearable.
So how can we learn to think more positively about ourselves and the world? That's what we'll be discussing with you guys this Monday (11th November) during the Getting Real session on the forums from 8pm AEST. Whether you struggle with negative thinking or you're a pro at challenging yourself to see things positively - come share your experiences!
What makes it difficult for you when you are trying to think positive?
Surronding myself with negative people is a big one for me.. I have certian people I know are not kind and really put me down. Especially when I've worked so hard building myself back up.
Also things like stress and stuff makes it difficult too.
@dreamcatcher I agree, negative people will always bring you down, negativity is contagious.
Have you overcome your negative thinking? If you have, how did you do this?
I think it's impossible to rid of negative thinking completely... You can handle and control it better (which is something I have pretty much achieved.... most days) and I think that's it? Maybe. There's always gonna be a voice in my head that may tell me that I'm not good enough or pretty enough, but how I challange myself on those negative thoughts will influence my happiness.
So yeah, I think challeging those thoughts is very important. It took me a while to learn how to do that, and sometimes it took help from others, but it's worth it.
I definitely agree with @dreamcatcher , it's hard to control, and sometimes no matter how many times you tell your self positive things, you still can't manage to change the way that you feel.
Good points @dreamcatcher - I don't know if it's possible to completely eliminate negative thinking (if it is, I don't know anyone who has figured out how to do it!), but it is possible to learn to challenge and manage negative thinking when it does arise, and to learn to replace those thoughts with more positive ones which have a better impact on our lives.
Argh I've missed pretty much the whole convo! I'll answer as much as I can now but I'll have to have a read through and come back next week I think.
Have you overcome your negative thinking? If you have, how did you do this?
I have. I use a lot of thought-challenging techniques (I think I've got a lot of these off Reach Out fact sheets actually) to help me with this. (for example, turning negatives into positives, what's the worst thing that could happen, will this matter in 5 years time?) I also use thought-challenging strategies I've picked up from my psychologist.
Challenging self-talk can be very difficult and positive thinking has to be on purpose because you cant get rid of it completely so next question: What makes it difficult for you when you are trying to think positive?
My own negative thoughts. When I get worked up enough I just can't stop thinking about the negatives, and even when I get the negatives out of my mind there is always some sort of recall cue around that brings them all back.
@Rhelna wrote:
My own negative thoughts. When I get worked up enough I just can't stop thinking about the negatives, and even when I get the negatives out of my mind there is always some sort of recall cue around that brings them all back.
It sounds kind of like the negative thoughts are so ingrained that they've made a pathway in your mind, and you really struggle to replace them with more positive thoughts... Is there anything you've found that makes it a bit easier to focus on the positives, even if the negatives are still there in the back of your mind? I think to start with, replacing negative thinking with positive thinking will always feel forced and difficult - but it's keeping on trying that changes those pathways in your mind.
@gail - Really it just depends on the situation, sometimes I can talk myself out of it, sometimes it's not. When it's not usually it's because I'm already convinced that this negative thinking is fact.
When I'm with my family I always find that they are at least a great distraction. They're amazing, and always make me laugh 🙂
So most of us have agreed that even if you try, negative thinking doesn't necessarily disappear altogether. So, every now and then when negative thoughts do pop up...
Do you challenge your negative thinking? If so, how? What helps you to challenge your thoughts?
Awareness is the magic word. Be aware of your thoughts and how pleasant/unpleasant they are. Then think of the concrete actions that can/should be performed. Those actions usually don't take a lot of thinking. If we think too much without leading an action out of those thoughts, they become obsession.
Even though challenging negative thinking can be difficult it can also be rewarding.
How does it help you to think positively?
I usually try to plan action to resolve the issue. If I can;t do it right now, I find something to do. I play music, do photography, go for a walk etc.
Sometimes is hard to switch to positive thinking. I just let it go, I let my brain do whatever and try not to take it too serious. Again, it's awareness.
What is one practical thing that helps you turn negative thinking into positive thinking?
I know this sounds corny but standing in the mirror and saying positive things to yourself can really make your day 🙂
@ruenhonx -Haha, I've never actually tried that before. I should give it a go! 🙂
I like the idea with the mirror.
I like to smile at people. It's contageous, it really boosts my mood.
Also look at your behaviour. Do you easily get upset about insignifical things. For example - road rage. We all had it. An idiot in other car that did this or did not that... And why we get upset?
@Rhelna it is the way I start my morning and honestly does make a difference to my mood 😄
There are a few ways that can help you think positively.
What do you need in place to think positively? e.g people around you, self care etc.
Good people around me, like family, friends and boyfriend..
I think when I'm consciously taking steps to help myself makes things a bit easier too. I am comforted by the fact that I'm being proactive.
ruenhonx wrote:What do you need in place to think positively? e.g people around you, self care etc.
For me, it's really helpful to have positive, encouraging people around me. I also find that doing things like eating and sleeping well helps me to be able to challenge my negative thinking. Writing things out or talking to someone is really helpful too, I find it easier to organise my thoughts and recognise when they're unrealistic once I've gotten them out of my head and into words.
Also sometimes I find it useful to just act oppositely to my thoughts. Like if someone invites me out and I have thoughts like I don't want to go, they don't really want me there, I'll look/feel stupid, etc... I just go anyway. By consciously challenging my thoughts through my actions it makes it possible to see an alternative outcome to the thoughts... Because I've done it.
