[SLOW-MO GR] Loneliness
Hello Everyone,
Loneliness can affect anyone and can be rather tricky to deal with. Some people can even experience loneliness while in the company of others.
But even if you're feeling lonely, there are some things you can do to help. ReachOut has an awesome article over here if you're interested in some ideas. There's always someone out there who cares, and there's always things we can do if you or someone you know is feeling lonely 🙂
Come and join us for a chat about loneliness starting on Monday 30th June with a new question each day!
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Hello all and welcome to our second Slow-Mo Getting Real all about loneliness! Like with our NAIDOC Week chat, we'll be posting one question every day until the weekend, learn here if you want to know more 🙂
If at all you find this conversation distressing or you feel like you need to talk to someone, about an issue then it's time to get some help! You can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or use their webchat and email services found on their respective sites. The links can be found here. If you are new here then welcome! Have a quick peek at our community guidelines you can find them here!
The first question of the week:
What does loneliness mean to you? Have you experienced it before?
Remember to check the above post for links to helplines or make a thread over here if you feel distressed at all during this chat 🙂
Hey everyone, sorry I'm late to this weeks slow-mo
What does loneliness mean to you? Have you experienced it before?
Loneliness to me means feeling like you have noone around you to lean on for support or just chill with. It can feel pretty dark and lonely, sometimes like nothingness
I think everyone has felt lonely at some point.
This gif feels accurate
@LeoTheLion this quote, is ao accurate "Loneliness is the empty feeling you get in your heart or stomach."
How can loneliness affect people? How does it affect you?
Loneliness can make people feel sad and isolated,
It affects me quite intensely at times where I get to the point I feel like I'm in a deep empty cold dark pit myelf. It's also seems to get worse as my mood gets low, so for me it goes hand in hand with depression.
How can we cope with feeling lonely?
We can contact a friend/family and talk to them, we can jump on RO and play games,
What does loneliness mean to you? Have you experienced it before?
For me, loneliness is feeling isolated, a sense of not belonging somewhere, feeling too different from others and not feeling accepted as I am. I think it's possible to feel lonely in one place and not in another, depending on how you interact with those who are around. Yes, I have definitely experienced loneliness. Some periods are harder than others, sometimes depending on what else is going on in my life.
How can loneliness affect people? How does it affect you?
It can kind of be a cloud that influences life in general. For me, it can be distracting as it can be all-consuming and hard to ignore if I dwell on it for too long, affecting concentration in things like schoolwork. Low mood can also affect how I interact with others, like I might not be as responsive and the conversation might feel draining and effortful. I guess it depends on if I feel connected with the person/s - if I do, the loneliness can lift and I'll feel better.
How can we cope with feeling lonely?
Talk to someone you feel connected or 'click with'. It can be hard to find someone/people like this, I think there is a lot of luck and time involved - don't give up! Sometimes, if I have the time, I'll spill out all my thoughts in a journal to try and find out what might have triggered or caused the loneliness and try to address that - is there something I want but don't have? How can I work towards that goal? If the cause is something I can't really change, I try to think differently about the situation. I think writing in the journal helps me clear up the fog a bit. There's also music and quotes, which can be encouraging and help me feel less alone in things as I hear others' similar experiences.
If you are studying at university/tafe etc try and socialise with people as much as possible - join clubs etc. Spend time with family/any aquaintences you have or play games on RO. Go take yourself out and visit things in the city, or partake in any hobbies. If you like sport perhaps join a club etc. Maybe talk to someone about it, and see where to go from there. I feel like it’s most important to just distract yourself as much as possible because if you don’t have a routine or aren’t doing much, that’s when the loneliness begins to kick in.
I am loving all these responses! They are so insightful and wonderful to read. I'm learning so much 🙂
It's now time for the fourth question of the week! @keezeik @cupcakes_032 @Bee @LeoTheLion @lokifish @mrmusic
4. How can we help people who are feeling lonely?
4. How can we help people who are feeling lonely
I think we can help people feel less lonely by active engaging with them. I know it's hard since we don't those who are lonely and who aren't. But for those who are saying they feel lonely, text them, talk to them and maybe if you wanted to you can invite them to a random event.
Seriously, as a lonely person I find so much joy when someone messages me first. It's like wow someone remembers that I exist! Amazing! I don't know, maybe that's just me but I find small things like that can make a massive difference to people who are feeling lonely.
These are amazing responses! I love the all the suggestions for helping others 🙂 @LeoTheLion @May_ @keezeik @cupcakes_032 @Bee @lokifish @mrmusic
It's time for the next question, we're almost to the end! 😄
5. How can we bring up loneliness in conversation or ask someone if they are lonely?
This is a tough one!! I'm not sure if I'd use the word lonely because it could quite confronting but I would ask the person what they've been up to and how they have been. This conversation should hopefully give you a bit of an idea about where they are at and from there you could possibly ask them if they are feeling okay with how things are at the moment or if they would prefer things to change.
Final question for the GR.....
Why is loneliness important to talk about? Is there anything you've learned from this chat that you would like to share?
Why is loneliness important to talk about?
Loneliness is super important to talk about before it is one of the most common underlying reasons for depression. Loneliness can cause depression and with that everything spirals out of control. As I said I belief loneliness is the first stepping stone and if we can get ahead of this issue, maybe just maybe we can stop people from become depressed (yes I know there are many other various factors to lead to depression). If we can help those who are feeling lonely then maybe they can focus more on fixing other aspects in their life. And another thing about loneliness, it doesn't discriminate, everyone can experience loneliness. That person who hangs around their friends all friend? You wouldn't have a clue that they are feeling like the loneliness person on the planet.
That concludes this week's Slow-MO a HUGE thank you to everyone who popped in to discuss this topic!
As always you are more than welcome to come and answer the questions later if you missed it 🙂
@N1ghtW1ng @LeoTheLion @May_ @keezeik @cupcakes_032 @lokifish @mrmusic
I think we can always try and spend time with them as much as possible, and invite them to things. You can also recommend sites like reach out 🙂
What does loneliness mean to you? Have you experienced it before?
I honestly wonder who hasn't experienced loneliness before. Like there must be at least one instance where people have experience loneliness. I feel like it's a feeling that's nearly impossible to escape, like it's part of life itself so I guess that's what I think loneliness means. Loneliness is the empty feeling you get in your heart or stomach. And when you think about it you realise you don't have any friends or that you're not actually close with anyone you talk to.
Hey everyone! Should be an interesting chat (if you join in then you hopefully won't feel as lonely! ;))
What does loneliness mean to you? Have you experienced it before?
To me, loneliness is that empty, gnawing feeling inside of you. We're social creatures and need social connectedness to survive, so I think loneliness is an evolutionary thing to make sure we seek out other people.
I've absolutely experienced it before - both when I'm actually alone and also the "alone in a crowded room" phenomenon. I think everyone feels lonely at times, BUT there's absolutely things we can do to help deal with it, and there are always people out there who care. The forum community here is amazing at helping me deal with all them lonely feels 
What does loneliness mean to you? Have you experienced it before?
Loneliness to me is when you can’t get out of bed because there is this heavy feeling, and you don’t have any motivation of what to do that day.
I think also you generally feel sad, and isolated, which is also kind of a heavy feeling.
I’ve been feeling it mostly this year because I’ve been looking for work as a side for university, therefore I have had a lot of time on my hands. Unfortunately due to my disability and health I have been really unlucky with finding jobs, as well as doing trials and not getting paid even though it’s law that you ALWAYS get paid for trials no matter what.
Next year I’ll be going to university full time just so I can keep myself busy as well as meet new people etc
Those are some excellent points that you've all brought up. I love all your answers @lokifish @LeoTheLion @mrmusic @keezeik!!
It's now time for question two:
How can loneliness affect people? How does it affect you?
You've all covered this pretty well! Everyone has experienced loneliness.
2. How can loneliness affect people? How does it affect you?
Loneliness for me can feel like not belonging or feeling different to other people in a bad way. It can also make me feel incredibly unmotivated and foggy. I definitely relate to the heavy feeling @keezeik described.
3. How can we cope with feeling lonely?
As @keezeik mentioned trying to get involved in hobbies and setting up some sort of routine or checklist for the day definitely helps. Doing something even if it's a short walk around the block, tidying up or sending someone a message can make a huge difference sometimes.
4. How can we help people who are feeling lonely?
I find it can be tricky to know sometimes whether people are feeling lonely or if they prefer to spend a lot of time alone. Asking people how they are, what they've been up to and inviting them to things definitely helps. This can be difficult if you don't know the person that well or if you are unsure if they want to engage with you but at the end of the day I think most people would appreciate this! 🙂
How can loneliness affect people? How does it affect you?
I think everyone's touched on a few ways already - it affects our friendships, our ability to work/study effectively, and our general day to day functioning. It can lead to feeling like we're not understood and don't belong anywhere. We all need empathy, like @mrmusic mentioned, and if we're not receiving it then it can just make us feeling worse, which makes people less likely to enjoy being around us. Talk about a vicious circle!
I'm curious to hear everyone else's responses - while we all experience loneliness, it may be that we experience it in slightly different ways? Let us know 🙂
Like @lokifish said, I think loneliness can affect people in different ways. There are people who don’t look like they are alone on the outside, but on the inside they feel very much alone. I heard of this YouTube video which apparently interviewed some celebrities on loneliness, and how success has contributed to their loneliness in some way. loneliness for me i guess would be little interaction with other people
@keezeik I love that point! Just like loneliness can feel different, it can also look different (and sometimes we're pretty good at putting on a fake smile). Reminds me of one of my favourite songs by Paramore:
And with that, it's time for our next question @keezeik @mrmusic @LeoTheLion:
How can we cope with feeling lonely?
How can we cope with feeling lonely?
Good question @lokifish, I'll get back to you when I have the answer ha! I just try to distract myself until tomorrow and hopefully I feel better by the next day. The good old avoidance strategy.
What does loneliness mean to you? Have you experienced it before?
For me, loneliness is a negative feeling relating to lack of connection to another human being. What connection is to one person could be different to another.
I have definitely experienced it before many times, and can definitely relate to feeling lonely “in a crowded room”. In my experience, I have found that lack of empathy/sympathy can also generate a feeling of loneliness. That’s why I love being a part of RO, as so many people can understand what I’m going through, and I can really have that experience of connecting to other people on the level that I need.
