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Slow-mo GR: Life transitions and fears about growing up , 27th - 31st July

Hey guys!

 

This week we're having a slow-mo GR to do with Life transitions and fears about growing up! 😄

 

 

Different stages of your life can bring huge changes, and these changes can honestly be terrifying! 

 

 

At the same time they're a huge opportunity for growth and for discovering things about yourself Heart

 

 

It can be hard to know what different transitions if your life will mean for you and what they will look like, and this fear and uncertainty is what we're going to be discussing! 

 

 

 

So this week we'll be posting a question each weekday about Life transitions and fears of growing up! For people who are coming across these chats for the first time, 'Getting Reals' are themed chats here on RO that provide an opportunity for us to share our different insights, experiences, and opinions with one another!  Heart 😄

 

If at all you find this conversation distressing or you feel like you need to talk to someone about any issue then you can also call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or use their webchat and email services found on their respective sites. The links can be found here. If you are new here then welcome! Have a quick peek at our community guidelines you can find them here!

 

Would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this one! ðŸ˜„ Feel free to jump in! Heart We'll be posting our first question later today! ðŸ˜„

ecla34
ecla34Posted 27-07-2020 03:03 PM

Comments

 
Janine-RO
Janine-ROPosted 27-07-2020 03:30 PM

Super excited for this one @ecla34 !! And can I just say, your GIF game is EXCEPTIONAL! 😄

 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 27-07-2020 05:02 PM

Hey peeps! Loving the GIFs as well 😄

 

Here's our first question to kick things off:

 

What do you consider to be a life transition? What does growing up mean to you?

 
 
 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 27-07-2020 08:51 PM

What do you consider to be a life transition? What does growing up mean to you?
I consider a life transition to be any change in my life. I think a lot of life transitions involve taking on a new role, such as going from being a high school student to a university student, becoming part of a blended family, finding work, losing someone close to you, becoming a carer, becoming someone with a chronic illness, etc. A life transition can be a good thing or a bad thing. It could be something that I've planned for or something that comes unexpectedly.
I think growing up is different for each person and that some of the major events that people associate with growing up may not be applicable to everyone. For example, I can't see myself getting married or having children. I think growing up can involve having greater responsibilities and being able to do more things. I think it is an ongoing process and we continue to grow as we get older. Growing up doesn't stop at a certain age.

 
 
 
 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 28-07-2020 01:58 AM

Hi everyone!

Here's our next question:
Describe a time in your life when you've navigated a life transition. What was this like to experience?

giphy

 
 
 
 
 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 29-07-2020 09:48 PM

Describe a time in your life when you've navigated a life transition. What was this like to experience?
I've had to navigate so many life transitions, but I'd like to talk about how I became a carer. With my grandparents, it was a gradual process because they became more frail with age and their dementia symptoms gradually increased, although they weren't officially diagnosed for years. My sister had mobility problems for years, but caring for her came quite suddenly because she suddenly became unable to walk and got a lot worse. Suddenly, she had to stop going to a physical school, someone had to stay with her all the time, I had to stay with my grandma when my parents were at the hospital with my sister and I had to do a lot more things at home and abandon plans I had made for myself. Her unexpected decline was a really hard thing for my family to go through and we've all coped differently. We had no time to prepare for it at all and no one told me or the rest of the family what her condition meant and how to care for her. I'm still learning things constantly.

What has going through a life transition told you about yourself? Did you learn anything by going through it? Is there anything that you would do differently if you had to chance to relive the transition? What advice would you give to someone who has gone through a similar transition?
That I'm not only a carer, I'm an advocate. I've had to learn to be flexible with my plans and I would say that the process has shown me that I am resilient. Caring for my family members has forever changed my view of the world. I used to think experiencing certain medical conditions were bad but in some cases it would have been easier if my sister was experiencing them instead of having FND. Prior to her illness, I didn't know that you could need urgent treatment and doctors, organisations and government bodies would be unwilling to help you in any way. We were told yesterday by a neurologist that if she continues to be bedbound, her muscles will waste and the chances of her ever walking again will be slim, but they did not suggest anything to help whatsoever. There is so much stigma and misinformation out there too. Today, we were told by a psychologist that we baby my sister too much by caring for her and that we should just leave her on the floor when she falls to see if she will get up on her own (she can't and could easily injure herself due to her osteoporosis if she does so). We are often told that we are to blame for my sister's condition, but we did not do anything to trigger her FND. So, I've had to learn to stand up for myself and my family members and correct people.
There are lots of things I would have done differently over the years. I would have insisted on second opinions, said no to unreasonable demands, appealed for help more, organised appointments with other professionals when some proved to be unreliable, looked after my own health more, traveled more when I had the chance, spoken up and voiced my concerns more. I'm sure I could come up with even more things.
I would tell other young carers to make sure that the person you are caring for has an advance care directive. Do not wait for them to be unable to make decisions for themselves. The earlier you do this with them, the better. If you have concerns about their symptoms, tell their doctor or other family members. Organise assessments, care packages and hospital admissions as soon as possible because there can be long waiting lists. If a doctor is telling you something that you don't agree with, listen to your gut and get a second opinion, or ask them what the purpose of having a particular treatment would be. Research carer-specific supports in your area. Make a care plan about what kind of care your loved one requires and know where you can access emergency care or respite because you never know if you'll suddenly be unable to care for them. Enjoy your life while you can, practice self-care and gratitude. Don't take anything for granted because life can change in an instant.

 
 
 
 
 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 30-07-2020 02:57 AM

Hi all!
Happy Thursday!

Here's our fourth question:
What kinds of life transitions can you imagine experiencing in the future? What are the benefits of going through them? What do you fear about going through them? Is there anything you can do to prepare yourself for them?

giphy

 
 
 
 
 
November13
November13Posted 30-07-2020 09:43 PM

What kinds of life transitions can you imagine experiencing in the future?

I'm graduating uni in over a year so my biggest transition would be finding a real job and becoming completely financially independent.

 

What are the benefits of going through them?

I know I will learn and grow so much in the process. I have been wanting to be 100% independent for years, and although I don't live at home, my parents do help me with some of my expenses (they live in another city). I know it will be quite uncomfortable at first, and I may need lots of resilience when applying for jobs, but in the end it will be worth it Smiley LOL

 

What do you fear about going through them? Is there anything you can do to prepare yourself for them?

I'm afraid that I'll potentially end up in a job I don't like, or not getting a job at all. At the moment I'm doing lots of volunteer work and extra trainings to build a good resume, and because I enjoy it as well. Perhaps getting a job in the same field will help, but I have been procrastinating on that lol.

 
 
 
 
 
ecla34
ecla34Posted 31-07-2020 01:07 PM

ahhh thank you so much guys for your responses to this topic! Heart Heart Heart i've loved reading them 😄

 
 
 
 
 
ecla34
ecla34Posted 31-07-2020 01:09 PM

Last question for this GR! 😄

 

Think of an example of someone who inspired you to navigate a challenging period in your life. Why are they your role model? What inspires you about them?

 

 
 
 
 
 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 01-08-2020 09:29 PM

What kinds of life transitions can you imagine experiencing in the future? What are the benefits of going through them? What do you fear about going through them? Is there anything you can do to prepare yourself for them?
I'd like to get a job or do another course with full-time hours, but I'm afraid that it will end up taking a toll on my health. Whenever I've done a lot of hours of work before, my symptoms tend to get worse, or I get sick easily or develop a health problem. At the same time, I've gone through periods over the last couple of years where I wasn't able to do a lot of career-related things due to being a carer, so I'd like to do more in the workforce. I've actually been working on things like online courses, volunteering and small jobs during most of my time now so that the transition isn't as abrupt if I do end up doing either of those things. I also think that transitioning my grandma to an aged care home would help free up more of my time for other things.
It's a bit hard for me to imagine other life transitions at the moment, because I often have to take things day-by-day.

Think of an example of someone who inspired you to navigate a challenging period in your life. Why are they your role model? What inspires you about them?
I actually don't have any particular role models, but I like hearing about people who have overcome hardships before becoming successful or people who have gone through similar things as me. I also like reading books and watching movies with inspirational messages.

 
 
 
 
 
marlee
marleePosted 02-08-2020 05:14 PM

Think of an example of someone who inspired you to navigate a challenging period in your life. Why are they your role model? What inspires you about them?

Someone that comes to mind straight away is my Nanna - she has been through so much in her life recently with losing her husband and son in the last five years, yet she is still so strong and lives her life with a smile on her face everyday. No matter what I'm going through when I see her I'm reminded of how important it is to appreciate everyday and face all challenges with a smile (as best you can!) She inspires me to practice gratitude everyday! 

 
 
 
 
 
marlee
marleePosted 30-07-2020 02:16 PM

What kinds of life transitions can you imagine experiencing in the future?

What are the benefits of going through them? What do you fear about going through them? Is there anything you can do to prepare yourself for them?

My next big life transition will hopefully be moving out of home with my partner. On the one hand I'm super excited to have and decorate my own space, live independently and experience all of this with my partner. But at the same time I find it sad to think about closing the final chapter of my childhood and not being able to come home to my parents everyday. It is a stage of life that I might never get to experience again! I also worry about the financial challenges that may come with living on my own. Overall though I am just focusing on making the most of my remaining time at home, focusing on all of the positive new memories I will make with my partner, and feeling proud and grateful for being in the position to even think about moving out! 

 
 
 
 
 
Bre-RO
Bre-ROPosted 28-07-2020 11:32 AM

What do you consider to be a life transition? What does growing up mean to you?

To me, growing up is a never ending process in life. There is always something for us to learn. I consider life transitions to be periods of time where core parts of your identity or circumstances change. It could be finishing school, moving home, changing job, ending a relationship.

 

Describe a time in your life when you've navigated a life transition. What was this like to experience?

 

One that stands out was the end of a very important relationship. We had to move out of the home we had lived in together for two years and move back home with our parents. It's was such a painful time. Seeing that home empty and shutting the door on it for the last time was one of the most heart breaking things I've ever felt. 

 

I navigated it by reconnecting with other important relationships in my life. I spent quality time with myself and learnt to be my own friend. It wasn't easy but it was one of the most important experiences I've ever had. 

Anonymous
Not applicable

ecla34
Star contributor

 
 
 
 
 
JullyBean
JullyBeanPosted 30-07-2020 03:24 PM

Hey everyone! 

 

I'm going to break up one of the questions so my answer is a little easier to write and read, let me know if you have similar thoughts!

What has going through a life transition told you about yourself?

It sounds cheesy but my most recent life transition has told me I'm stronger than I think I am! I recently finished uni (honours) and at the same time my workplace of 6 years shut down so I found myself having no work or study (while lockdown and everything else was starting to happen at the same time), meaning my life went from ridiculously busy to completely slow-mo mode. This was really hard for me to adjust to at first because I'm a very go go go person! This situation definitely took a toll on my mental health and I finally worked up the courage to go to the doctor and get a mental health care plan (something I had been wanting to do for about a year but didn't think I was "struggling enough"). 

 

Did you learn anything by going through it?

There is no such thing as "struggling enough"! I'm almost a little embarrassed to admit that I only just now learnt this because I studied psychology and it would make me so sad to think someone didn't seek help because they were scared to look like their problems weren't big enough to talk to someone. Everyone can benefit from talking to people about their problems no matter how small or big you think the problem is!

 

I also learnt where my real passion lies (body image problems in young girls and boys) because I had so much free time to really explore so many things. I didn't even realise I was figuring out where my interest lies to be honest, it was just the first time since starting high school that I actually had a bunch of free time and I just found this is naturally the kind of thing I started looking up (to start healing my own relationship with disordered eating and poor body image) and I realised I really want to share this knowledge with people out there! I want to gain enough knowledge on how to increase awareness around disordered eating and poor body image and travel around to schools and hold seminars and sessions to raise awareness and self-confidence in young people! Does anyone have any ideas how I could start going about this?

 

Is there anything that you would do differently if you had to chance to relive the transition?

I would practice meditation a lot more, read books for fun instead of to feel productive (because I love reading and it began to feel like a chore at times) and talk to the people around me more about what I was struggling with!

 

What advice would you give to someone who has gone through a similar transition?

Free time and doing things we love, as well as relaxing, can teach us so much about ourselves that we would never learn if we are working 24/7. At the end of the day working out your values and living your life in accordance to them (as best you can in any given situation) will bring a lot more freedom to how you spend your free time and it can bring a lot of clarity to how you spend your working time too!

 

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