Kaz-RO Moved This: Seeking help when we don't want help

@Bay52VU unfortunately the relief isn't instantaneous. It's quite a process and you've gotta stick it out, probably for months, maybe even longer (although things will be improving that whole time!). It's a type of therapy that has a huge evidence base for working though. So maybe that helps you be able to trust the process a little. And, as it's a therapy; while you can have a crack at soloing it or doing it with us, finding a good Psychologist, who respects you, knows their shit and has expertise in CBT would definitely help. Especially because you could be like "dude, just help me  learn to recognise distorted thinking and reframe, i don't want to talk about feelings". Or something like that. It's okay if you don't want to do that though, but we can't do all the things they could do to make it easier and more importantly more effective :(. Will still do our absolute best though!

In terms of doing things on your own, we're here to help of course :). I (and everyone else here) really care about you and want to find something that works for you! If you wanted to make a thread and challenge thoughts in there that would be most welcome and I will do my best to talk through it with you along with all the other awesome people here 🙂  

I am just trying to dig up a particular resource that I had on reframing that's really dang good, but i can't seem to find it! My search will continue.

Anyway, in the mean time... something you can start doing right now and should practice for a little bit if (only if you're feeling up to it and want to try) is just recognising the thought and testing whether it's distorted or on point/accurate. Use the unhelpful thinking styles sheet when you have a -ve thought and try and pick which type of distortion it might be. Creating another spreadsheet for that would increase the impact it'll have on you as you'll probably find out pretty quickly that there's particular distortions that happen a lot and that are harder to notice and therefore challenge.

Sorry for the super long post. I am going to try and find this reframing... thing.

Okay here it is! @Bay52VU!

Giant site on CBT There's heaps of stuff in there that I've started going over, but as you can see there's HEAPS more. If you want help with trying anything in there or aren't sure about something. I'd particularly draw your attention to the article on stuckness although take your time with it, do some self-care and talk to us 🙂

Thanks for the replies, info and for hunting around and finding that @Ben-RO. I'll see how I go getting through it all 🙂

No worries @Bay52VU. Just remember it's like a fairly long process. I'd say doing a full course of CBT is almost like doing a cert IV or a diploma in terms of work and things you can learn. So i guess remember to give yourself some time and space to study and practice because it will take a little while! And of course if you have questions or thoughts or disagree with some stuff (because nothing works for everyone) then by all means let us know!

Well, a couple of things might work, but it's kind of up to you to figure out which ones will work, or to make something that will work for you.

You're a big thinker with a wicked sharp brain (at least as far as I can see!). So it might be a good to have a crack at processing the thoughts a little more than you do normally. @j95 actually is pretty kick ass at doing this, it's called cognitive reframing or just reframing. I can walk you through the basics of it if you want to know more, but i don't want to push you into something you aren't ready to try doing.

I also have a few other ideas too if you're not keen to learn about reframing 🙂

P.s here are some things that are sometimes called "cognitive distortions". They don't mean you're a bad person  by the way, they just mean your brain might have learned to cope with stressful stuff by seeing things a certain way. The most powerful thing you can do to work through em is to just recognise when they happen. I am wondering if any of these ways of thinking ring a bell for you?

Also I am sorry if i stress you out a bit!

Excellent, i want a count of when it happened and relate the count to time if possible. Bonus points for recording what was happening around the same time. I.e were you just out shopping, did something crap happen (doesn't have to be a big deal), or was there literally nothing at all going on and you were just sitting down doing absolutely nothing.

Got pretty lazy with it but I said I'd do it, so here we go:

• General = general non-specific negative judgementy thought (e.g. "I suck")
• Situation = something related to how things are (e.g. "I can't do this")
• External = comparision to other people (e.g. "I'll never be as good as..." or "No one will ever...")
• Specific = (e.g. "I suck at XYZ")
• Action = thought about something negative I should do (e.g. "I should self harm")

Holy crap this is amazing @Bay52VU!

What software did you make that dope graph with?

Are you noticing the thoughts more now that you've spent a week recording them? Or do they catch you by surprise and suck you in a bit without you noticing still?

It's interesting that there's two pretty consitent peaks there in your day where negative thoughts happen. What's up with that? Do you think there's something there that's triggering and do you want to talk about it a bit?

@Bay52VU so first of all, that is some really amazing insight into what's going on for you in those negative thoughts. 

How has it felt to be tracking them? Do you feel more able to control them, or guess when they might be about to crop up?

@Kaz-RO tracking the thoughts has been weird. I got pretty sick of doing it after awhile. But at least I tried and came out with some info at the end.

I guess I do now have a good idea of when they're more likely. Not really sure what to improve for controlling them.

How does it feel to know when it's going to happen? Does it help you prepare or look after yourself, or does it make you more anxious? @Bay52VU

Want a first step @Bay52VU?

Where are you investing your attention on? Finding flaws or learning to see solutions?