Looking for advice
My abuser recently passed while I was in the process of going through the processes with the police, he had not yet been made aware that I had contacted the police about it. It was a slow process on my behalf due to severe anxiety. Some days I just couldn’t bring myself to turn up to the police station. I felt as though I wasn’t being taken seriously and even made me question myself wether I was doing the right thing. When he died I mourned and still am as if the whole experience had started again. I don’t know where to go from here, I don’t know the right people to talk to about it. His wife was an accessory to the sexual abuse but I feel as though I can’t just leave it at this. He can’t have just died thinking it’d never be brought back to the surface after I grew up and left. During the time it was happening I was in a bad place with my family and had no one to talk to about it, I couldn’t even talk about it to my psychologists and psychiatrists. I feel so stuck in this endless cycle of anger and confusion.
Comments
@StuckInReverse welcome to RO 
Thank you so much for posting, from what you've mentioned I don't think anyone could blame you for feeling stuck and unsure. I can't imagine how frustrating things must be right now, particularly as you were taking the steps to press charges 😞 it sounds like you've had to carry this for a really long time, and it's definitely understandable that you're struggling with it
@Tiny_leaf linked some really good support services up above, would you feel comfortable contacting one of them?
I was also wondering if there was someone in your life you could reach out to for support right now as well? If you felt you could talk to them about what's been going on for you?
Sending lots of support your way We're always here if you need someone to listen xx
@StuckInReverse welcome to the forums, and well done for seeking help.
Firstly, going to the police was incredibly brave.
If his wife was an accessory she still might be able to be charged, if that's what you want to happen.
Abuse can bring up so many complicated emotions and situations, especially if you didn't have some sort of closure for it all. I can't imagine how hard it would have been for you.
You said that you don't know the right people to talk to about this; there are a few organisations you can contact. Here are some of them:
•Lifeline
- crisis support and suicide prevention
-https://www.lifeline.org.au/about-lifeline/contact-us
•1800respect
- information, counselling and support for people who've been impacted by abuse, assault and violence
-https://www.1800respect.org.au/
•Blue Knot Foundation
-an organisation that specializes in complex and childhood trauma
•White Ribbon's directory of domestic violence supports by where you live in Australia:
-https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/find-help/support-services/
They should be able to give you additional advice and support, and you're welcome to take part on these forums! There are others here who've dealt with abuse, trauma and ptsd, who may be able to share their experiences. You'll likely get more advice and support as other RO members wake up, but until then I hope this helps in some way.
I agree with @Tiny_leaf on this one.
I haven't been in this experience before, but I'm happy to be here and talk if you need to.
I know it can be hard, going to the Police Station. The people there in their uniform seems scary to me...
But well done on getting there and reporting the issue. It isn't fair, and never will be.
I'm always on the forums, so I'll be here to chat if you need.
Except for school. I still have that. But I'll be on here before and after it.
//You are strong, You are beautiful, You are enough//
