really need some company
Right now id really like some company, jsut to sit with me.
i dont like asking for help but tonight i really need it
all of yesterday i spent with a sick horse trying to save her (tvet treatements, mum ringing around for a vet yesterday, me ringing today and in less than 24 hr ive done over 7 hours walking- the condition she had can sometimes cure it) and today all morning since 5am until 12 today i was trying to save her again but despite the best efforts of myself, mum and the vets she sadly had to be put to sleep today. my mother couldnt handle it so i watched my horse be put to sleep stayed with her until the angels came for her and then get buried.
im completely heartbroken
and right now i really could use some company
im jsut worried about what my ultrasound results will be and if im going to have to go for an MRI @honky
and then my stupid family situation im in thats casuing me arguments between them and friends over my birthday.
Ive got an old injury @honky that never lets up but cant figure out why as yet. Ive har numerous ultrasounds a few xrays and cant figure it out. So the next step if this comes up inconclusive itll be an mri. But theres a catch. Medicare doesnt cover all of it
I have to pay a gap fee of 200 minimum
And im on Arthritis tablets to help with the pain and inflammation which actually helps.
Oh, is your birthday coming up @scared01? I want to remember so I can send you lots of birthday love! 
It is very frustrating @honky and right now is causing me waayyy more pain than i would like esp right now even after taking meds
that's the worst, I totally understand the pain you're feeling @scared01
oh no, have you found any possible remedies to ease the pain?
I find that if i ever feel any pain anywhere, I apply heat to the area, and it does wonders ! 
I get too hot with heat @honky ive tried those gels like voltaren and those sorts but they dont do anything. The most effective thing is the meds as much as i dont like relying on them
Nights are always worse for me esp for overwhelming thoughts and nightmares too. So ive got my headphones in and won't turn them off until im almost dead tired.
Im in to heaps of sorts @honky hmm i like eminem evanescence country style music ed sheeran nickel back uhhhh thats all i can think of off the top of my head
Hi @scared01,
How did you go in feeding the horses today?
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling frustrated. @LadyMacbeth00 and I, are here if you need or want to talk about anything xx
I can tag you to my other thread @honky we are chatting there. Well sort of its gone quiet now.
I didnt do my horses today i was too busy doing everyone elses
Hi @Bree-RO
Im struggling
Theres so much emotion that i dont know how to deal with and im stressed out my ears. Im sure the stress is literally pouring out of me the only problem is it gets sucked back up my feet.
Im worried to turn my music off cause then itll be quiet and ill be left with my own thoughts
And im worried about tomorrow and what the results will be
@Bree-RO my heart is pounding so hard and fast and i tried deep breathing to settle it but it actually made it worse.
Its not nice at all and the emotions are making me feel really queasy
Ive been listening to music since 8 in bed and its not helping. Im over alert and when that happens if it goes quiet i cant handle my thoughts so i have keep noise until im really tired and csnt keep my brain awake.
Im worried about tomorrow too because all day today i kept zoning out even while driving so something to meantion to my gp.
I think its my new meds making my heart like this but its either that or its unbearable pain and i choose a fast pounding heart
