coming out to extended family
i need some advice
im not sure whether my mum has already told my extended family that im gay or not
but i need advice on coming out to them MYSELF
I came out to my mum with a letter that I put on the seat in the car before leaving for school, that went pretty well
so any ideas on coming out to (my supportive) extended family?
Comments
UPDATE: Ive made a lesbian flag cuff( type of kandi, bracelet, search up kandi cuffs for an idea) and I'm wearing it when I go out with my auntie, I also stuffed my flag into my little money bag so if I come out then and there, it'll be dramatic and in the middle of the store lol
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!
It's really mature of you for wanting to come out to your extended family on your own terms, have it be more personal, and take that opportunity to be yourself in front of the people you love.
If you feel like it went well with the letter for your mum, how do you feel about doing something similar?
Did you also want to talk in person with everyone there or speak about it individually to each person?
I was thinking, maybe you could use the same letter that you wrote before, and if possible just read off of that in front of your family. It might be scary and nerve-wracking, but that way your letter can help you express your words without having to think too much, and since you wrote it - it still comes from the heart.
Hope you are well, and best of luck 💙
Hey @gay_disabled_human and welcome to our online community! It is so lovely to have you join us 😊
Thank you so much for sharing this with us and for being so honest about what you're going through. It takes a lot of bravery to reach out here so I just want to start off by saying well done. It is also so great that you have been able to connect with your sexuality and open up to your family. How did you feel after being able to share this with your mum?
Coming out to extended family can be really scary, but its not something you have to go through on your own. Minus18 have a really great article on Coming out and how to approach it. I wonder if it might give you some ideas on how to come out to them yourself. We also have a great thread here, which might also give you some ideas. Do you think they might help at all?
I am also mindful of how difficult this can be and wonder what other supports you have around you right now. Is there anyone you might feel comfortable talking to about this? If you would like to talk to someone, it might be worth looking into a service like QLife who is available via phone and webchat.
I just want to remind you that you're not alone and we're all here for you.
hey thanks for your response! i actually had a chat to Qlife earlier and came to the conclusion that if I do come out then I will to my auntie first because I feel like she would be the most open, she has said in the past that shes an open book so maybe
with my mum, we don't mention that I'm gay because I mentioned in the letter that I didn't really want to talk about it much, apart from of course if/when I get a girlfriend
I obviously wont be making her a 6-page-long letter like I did for my mum but maybe still a decent letter
Firstly I just want to commend you for how mature and brave you are being with all of this.
I'm glad to see that you feel comfortable with your auntie and I hope that talking to her will set a good tone with the rest of your family, and give you that confidence and reassurance once you tell her.
Also, I think it is great that you communicated your own boundaries with your mum, and that she was happy to not only support you but also respect those boundaries as well - I'm sure the rest of your family will do the same.
Best of luck with everything, and we are here for you if ever ❤️
