cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Main content skiplink
Join an event. Happening today.

Death Anxiety

Hi, 

For the past few months I've been dealing with what I think is a kind of death anxiety. A few months ago I started to struggle with intrusive thoughts about suicide, and it's become a bit of an obsession. I don't want to die, but I sometimes find it really difficult to stop imagining, worrying and over analysing. I've been getting help from my parents, my uncle, a school counsellor, a psychologist and websites like Beyond Blue and Kids Helpline, but I wonder if anyone else has or is struggling with something like this and if they have any tips to provide?

Thanks.

Clementine75
Clementine75Posted 07-01-2020 04:14 PM

Comments

 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 07-01-2020 05:41 PM

Welcome to the forums @Clementine75!
I think that a lot of people can relate to your experience. I know people who have experienced something similar, so you're definitely not alone. Heart It's normal to be anxious about death, but it can be a problem when it starts to take over your life.
Is there any kind of activity that helps distract you from the thoughts? We have a list of coping strategies and distractions that might be helpful if you need some ideas.
Something I personally find helpful is letting intrusive thoughts wash over me like a wave. I often write them down in my phone, then do something to take my mind off them.
I think it's great that you're getting support from people and websites. 🙂 Would you feel comfortable asking them if they have any suggestions for dealing with the thoughts?

 
 
Clementine75
Clementine75Posted 07-01-2020 06:08 PM

Sometimes I just feel so scared and, as much as I don't want these thoughts to happen to me or these thoughts to continue, it's like my brain doesn't know how to not feel afraid and worried, even though I know I'm not in danger and that these thoughts won't happen.

 
 
Clementine75
Clementine75Posted 07-01-2020 05:57 PM

I have gotten some advice from people and websites (breathing techniques etc) which has been helpful, I just feel like a lot of the advice that I'm getting now is stuff I'm already aware of. I've been using these websites a lot more recently because I won't be able to talk to my psychologist for a few weeks because she's on holiday. Sometimes I might obsess over the idea of how the thoughts would stop if I did die, but I know that's not true, and besides, I don't want to die, that's what's scaring me so much in the first place. I recently seem to have developed a tendency to obsess over thoughts like that, even though I don't believe them, want them to happen or have an intention to act on them.

 
 
 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 07-01-2020 06:19 PM

@Clementine75  I'm glad that the advice has been helpful. 🙂 Well done for using the websites!
I understand that the thoughts do sound pretty scary. I think it's important to remember that the thoughts are just thoughts. Like you said, you have the power to choose whether or not to believe or act on them. You can also choose how you interpret them and how you feel about them.
It might be hard to control the intrusive thoughts and telling yourself not to think about them can make you think about them even more. But remembering and focusing on the things that you can control could help. For example, you can look after your health by eating well, practicing good sleep hygiene and doing self-care.
Are the thoughts triggered by anything or do they just happen?

 
 
 
 
Clementine75
Clementine75Posted 07-01-2020 10:25 PM

No, they aren't really triggered by anything. It's become a bit of an obsession and they just happen.

 
 
 
 
 
Janine-RO
Janine-ROPosted 08-01-2020 09:31 AM

Hi @Clementine75 ,

 

I hear how difficult these thoughts are for you.  When you said " as much as I don't want these thoughts to happen to me or these thoughts to continue, it's like my brain doesn't know how to not feel afraid and worried, even though I know I'm not in danger and that these thoughts won't happen.", - I think that shows so much insight, and wisdom. You know that you don't want to die or to harm yourself, and you know you're not really in danger - but our brains and bodies can sometimes react in ways that we can't control. 

 

It's fantastic that you're using websites and this community while your psychologist is on leave, did they help you to make a safety plan at all for this period if you feel that you need it? 

 

Are there any distracting activities that you've found helpful, while you wait for the thoughts to pass? You mentioned breathing exercises, and @WheresMySquishy  linked to a great list that different community members contributed to that helped them - personally, I have sometimes found playing games on my phone to be a useful distraction when I need to give my brain a break - things like tetris, and mario runner sometimes help me to zone out a bit when I need to de-stress. 

 

Heart Heart 

 

 
 
 
 
 
Clementine75
Clementine75Posted 08-01-2020 10:07 AM

No, my psychologist didn't really make any plans with me, because at the time I was feeling better and didn't think I'd need to see her again. I have some activities I use to take my mind off it sometimes, but sometimes it gets really intense and difficult to control.

 
 
 
 
 
Janine-RO
Janine-ROPosted 08-01-2020 03:36 PM

Hi @Clementine75 , it sounds like you're being really proactive in looking for ways to cope with these thoughts, which is amazing. You've mentioned your psychologist is on holidays at the moment, do you think you'd be able to make an appointment for when they're back? It might be helpful to talk through ways to keep yourself safe and strategies you can use to ease your distress when things get really intense - it can be really hard to control feelings like these, it's important to remember that those feelings will pass eventually. It's great to hear that you do have some activities that can help to take your mind off them, what are your favourite things to try? 

 
 
 
 
 
Clementine75
Clementine75Posted 08-01-2020 03:43 PM

My doctor has made a referral to my psychologist, so I know I'll be seeing her soon when she gets back. As for activities, I have a YouTube playlist of favourite videos that I like to watch. Thing is, I can make these thoughts go away temporarily, and I've had so many "epiphany" moments where I feel great and I'm determined to not let myself worry and be scared and think about these things, but it always comes back.

 
 
 
 
 
ApplesRoses
ApplesRosesPosted 09-01-2020 09:50 PM

Hey @Clementine75 

You're definitely not alone when it comes to intrusive thoughts, I have and I am struggling with intrusive thoughts too. And they absolutely suck, they show you things. They tell you things which you absolutely feel weird about. And they're so hard to deal with and it's so great to hear that you've been receiving help for them from professionals and loved ones. It's scary to go through these sorts of things, which is why it's good to have strategies for when they do come up. Which I've noticed some of the forum members have already added. Which is great 🙂

 

Here's some strategies I've learned that I hope can help you too.

1) STOPP Method

S - Stop and have a think. 

- What is your mind telling you?

T - Take a few breaths
O - Observe how you're feeling

- What are you currently feeling at this moment and time?

P - Put things into perspective

- Is there another way to look at it?

P - Practice how to respond

- Are you going to talk to someone, family, friend or a professional?

2) Be your friend 

Take your current thought, and relay it to yourself as if your friend was talking to you. What would you say to your friend? This helps me realise that my inner talk is different from the way that I would actually talk to my friend. If they were going through a similar predicament. I also combine this with the STOPP method where I put this into the first P. 

3) Journal the thought

Journal the thought that is currently on your mind, and just think of ways to break it down. Just question the logic of the thought.

Hopefully these strategies can help. Please don't feel hesitant to message back on the forums if you need to. We'll always be here with open arms. 🙂

 
 
 
 
 
Bre-RO
Bre-ROPosted 09-01-2020 11:24 AM

Hey @Clementine75 

 

Just catching up on this thread and wanted to check in with you. It's really good to hear that you have been having "epiphany moments". I can imagine it would be hard when the thoughts come back but it does show that you are able to pull away from them. What do you think it is that helps when you do have those moments of clarity? 

 

Also, YouTube can be so good for a distraction! What are your fave videos to watch? 

 
Janine-RO
Janine-ROPosted 07-01-2020 04:52 PM

Hi @Clementine75 , 

 

Thanks so much for your post and for opening up about the intrusive thoughts about suicide that you're experiencing. It sounds like you have a lot self-awareness about these thoughts, which is fantastic, and it's excellent to hear that you're getting support from your family and mental health professionals. There's a lot of people in this community who have dealt with different kinds of intrusive thoughts, and hopefully they will be able to give you support and advice. 

 

Has your psychologist given you any strategies that you find helpful when you're dealing with these intrusive thoughts? Some things that people find helpful in similar situations include grounding techniques, or listening to a favourite song, or getting outside and having some exercise - what works best is up to the individual, and I'm sure that the community here may be able to give you some tips of what's worked for them. 

 

The most important thing is that you stay safe in that moment. Thank you for reaching out here, the community is here to support you Heart 

 

I just wanted to make sure that you're aware of our community guidelines which I've linked to here - we do have some boundaries around what's okay and what's not okay to post about in regard to suicidal thoughts (which you have followed here, but I just wanted to make you aware of them in case you weren't already). 

Welcome back!

Join the Community

ReachOut is confidential & anonymous.

8+ characters, 1 capital letter, 1 lower case letter and 1 number

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.