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“Delusions”

Um this is kind of hard for me to ask because it is a topic of great conflict for me but does anyone here get told or think they experience delusions or delusional thinking? When I saw my new psychologist for the first time the other day this subject came up and she kept asking “but do you ever just think I am just a psychologist” (I don’t think anyone is an actual human they are just pretending to be humans and so they look human but they aren’t really) and I said no because I don’t. She wasn’t mean about it but like I just don’t know what I am supposed to do because I know no one will believe me if I tell them what I believe but then it is also very distressing and sometimes I do want to talk about it but I also can’t talk about a lot of it because of what I believe and it doesn’t make sense that I talk to non humans who want to hurt me about the fact that I don’t think they are humans and they want to hurt me. Even here I don’t really think anyone is a person it is just that I feel more comfortable because I don’t feel like they know who I am irl so they can’t hurt me even if they know that I know. 

 

But it I don’t know how I am supposed to cope with this because it essentially causes me a lot of stress and fear and I am open to the notion that anyone could at anytime be wrong about anything so in that sense I could be wrong but I don’t think that I am and that doesn’t make me less scared and I know that even though I know this I don’t have the power to change the situation myself so I just need to learn to deal with it but at the same time it is so stressful. 

 

Does anyone else get told they are/have a delusion when they don’t think it is and it scares them but they also know there is no chance of anyone believing them or agreeing and if so how do you deal with it? 

 

I am am sorry I am not sure how to ask what I am wanting to ask because everything just gets very technical and complicated. 

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Re: “Delusions”

Hi @Eden1717 

 

This is a hard topic to think about..

 

I used to (And occasionally still do) experience a fun thing called (I think) Cotard's delusion.

Where basically I end up being like 90% sure that I'm dead and/ or missing a limb and/ or some other horrible stuff.

Plus a few other things.

Like right now I don't think I'm dead. But at the same time I'm not willing to say definitely.

 

I never really spoke about it though, even here, because people would just try to convince me I was wrong.

They never cared how painful it was for me.

 

 

So like.. 

 

If you ever want to question things, I'm here.

 

But at the same time, if you ever need to just talk about things without having everything you say being questioned, I'm here for that too.

 

 

Because wether or not it's "real" it's something you're experiencing.

And it sounds like a pretty fucking hard thing to be experiencing.

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Re: “Delusions”

I am sorry to hear about how you have been feeling scared and stressed @Eden1717 . I can see that you been thinking deeply about what is happening. I am glad to hear that you were able to have a discussion with your psychologist about your thoughts. 

 

It is great to see the support that @Tiny_leaf has provided. I agree with @Tiny_leaf, as what you are experiencing sounds really difficult. You mentioned that things were very technical, would you be able to share a bit more about that?

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Re: “Delusions”

@Eden1717  That sounds really scary and tough. Smiley Sad I know people may say things such as 'It's all in your head' about people with delusions but even if something is just a thought, it can still be very real.

I know this is different from your situation, but sometimes when my family members with dementia say something that is strange or doesn't make sense, I ask them why they think that without trying to challenge them. Sometimes, it can be more helpful to get them to explain their reasons rather than trying to describe the actual belief. For example, I find that things in a person's environment can influence the way that they think and describe things. Do you think that writing down the reasons or evidence for your beliefs would help you communicate with your new psychologist?

@Tiny_leaf  I've heard of people with that delusion and it doesn't sound fun at all. Smiley Sad It sounds like a really isolating and stressful thing to experience.

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Re: “Delusions”

@Tiny_leaf  Thanks, that is something I have felt/experienced as well but not for that long only like a few days to a week. It sucks. 

 

@WheresMySquishy  Not really because I know why I think what I do but that still wouldn’t be enough to convince someone else plus the very thing that I believe also would make it impossible for me to convince anyone or get the to agree because that is half the problem they already know they aren’t people they just don’t want me to know or at the least they want me to behave as if they are and comply so they can get what they want out of me but they would never admit it because then they couldn’t justify telling me I am mentally ill. 

 

@TOM-RO  I can’t really explain the technicalities because that would defeat the purpose of me not telling people things because that is exactly what a non human human looking thing would want, so even you asking that just makes me think more strongly that I am right because you want to trick me into thinking that I am not right and thus me telling you the things you are not meant to know would be to my benefit when actually it would be a very big step to my eventual destruction by the wrong hands. 

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Re: “Delusions”

Hey @Eden1717 , that sounds so hard, and it sounds like a really heavy burden to have to carry on your own when you're not able to open up to people about everything that is happening for you. It sounds exhausting, and frightening at times. 

 

Did you find seeing the psychologist helpful? I know it's early days there. 

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Re: “Delusions”

@Janine-RO  idk yes and no like it was something to think about but idk it didn’t actively help. Idk how to explain it. 

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Re: “Delusions”

@Eden1717 how are you going at the moment?

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Re: “Delusions”

@Tiny_leaf  Not good, everything is a very intense mess and I am so tired but I can’t sleep I didn’t get to sleep until like 8am today it just keeps getting later and later but I can’t sleep I don’t know who is who in my head anymore and I am supposed to be taking a medication for sleep but they won’t let me take that because I can’t trust the people who gave it to me and ugh I want to scream but I can’t and I feel like my head is melting and I don’t know what to do and everything inside me is screaming constantly but on the outside I look blank like I am trapped again and I don’t know what they did to me in the stupid hospital that wasn’t a hospital and I I want to go and scream at them all but going there is never a good idea and I don’t know what I want I don’t want things I want peace of mind I guess but that will never happen because it can’t and why I would even think it could ever happen I don’t know I guess I am just not very smart. I want it out but how can I do that I can’t it isn’t something I can physically do but no one would believe me if I told them. Everything is just getting messier I need to sleep I need the screaming to stop but that is not allowed. 

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Re: “Delusions”

@Eden1717 why isn't it allowed?