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Depressed, anorexic and forever alone.

Hey, I know I've posted already tonight but I really need to vent right now. As I said in one of my earlier posts that you might have read I've been having some really tough days. I've been verbally bullied over the past few days about my self harm and it's really upsetting me. People who I don't even know, have found out that I self harm and people are coming up to me and telling me I'm doing it all for attention. It's killing me inside because they don't know what it's like to feel so upset that it's the only way you can cope.

I'm really starting to have suicidal thoughts as I mentioned earlier but I don't really want to talk about that too much...

I hate being anorexic, it's really taking over my life, well what little of my life hasn't been taken over by depression. It's so hard, I can't even eat with out feeling guilty. I purge all the time now and everything is just getting worse and worse and worse.

I seriously hate my life right now and I just want to cry so hard.

Well that's enough of my whinging and whining, I'm probably boring you so much right now..

So bye for now x
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Re: Depressed, anorexic and forever alone.

It's good and important to vent.

It's also important that you have someone in your life that you trust and can help look out for you. Have you told your parents? Or the counsellor at school?

 

If you're being bullied at school, and you think most people probably know now (at least it sounds like the rumour is spreading), you really should talk to a teacher or similar authority person at the school. They need to not only stop people from bullying you, but they need to also help educate your peers about self-harm, as it's very rarely about getting attention.

It sounds silly of others to think you're doing it for attention — if it was for attention why would you be hiding it?

 

It's very very important that you don't bottle it up and keep it to yourself. Posting on here can help a little bit but telling someone means that you don't have to go through this alone.

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Re: Depressed, anorexic and forever alone.

Hey Pillow, 

 

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a really tough time right now. It's alright to vent and to rant; better to let it out then keep it in! Expressing yourself creatively in writing, music or artwork can greatly help. It's also horrible knowing that people are thinking that you are doing this all for attention too because this is should not be taken light-heartedly for the sake of being the centre of the universe. But you are a strong person and you are acknowledging that what you're feeling is making your life crap and that you want to do something about it!

 

Lex has given you some great advice - talking to people you trust and can support you as well as educating your peers are the next steps to helping you. 

 

Hang in there!

 

 

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent
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Re: Depressed, anorexic and forever alone.

Hi Pillow,

 

I agree with the last two posts, it's really good to get these thoughts out. And RO is always here to listen. Never feel like you're whining or boring people, you can always talk about things.

 

It sounds like you're in a really tough spot at the moment. You're obviously going through a lot personally and it's even worse with these people putting you down. That's not okay.

 

Eating disorders are hard and tiring. I hear you when you say it's starting to take over your life and that's not fair. The fact that you can recognise that you hate it and you don't want it around is a good thing. Lex had some good ideas in talking to people you can trust. Have you been able to do that?

 

Keep your head up Pillow Smiley Happy

 

 

Re: Depressed, anorexic and forever alone.

Hey @Pillow, how have you been going since we last heard from you?

It sucks to hear that people have been giving you a hard time, try not to listen to them, they sound immature and as you said, they dont know what its like to be you

It sounds like your anorexia is really pushing you to your limits.. but it also sounds like you are a strong person, and if you are ready, there are a few websties that might be able to help give you the tools to fight your problems head on

Bodies Under Siege (BUS) Web board http://buslist.org/phpBB/ is a forum that talks about coping strategies, has workshops and general discussion about self harm

Another helpful site is the Eating Disorders Recovery Message Board  http://www.eatingdisorders.org.au/online-forums which is an online community for people recovering from or still living with an eating disorder. They have chatrooms and messageboards and are a great source of support in regards to eating disorders

 

Please know that all of us at ReachOut.com are here for you too! We want to support and help you in any way we can Smiley Happy

Let us know how you are going Smiley Happy