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Feeling miserable

Hello. For the past couple days I have been feeling depressed. Low motivation and anxious and tense for what feels like no reason. I think it is a PMS thing which is enhanced by my anxiety and depression. But it is really getting me down. I feel like I have had crazy moods and that I have been frustrating my bf. What's worse is I haven't felt like wanting to be intimate on a sexual level at all . So if he goes to touch me trying to be cute or initiate what he would consider 'pleasure' I just seem to want to retract and I just don't want to be sexual. Smiley Sad I hate myself for it. I love him and want to be close to him and my damn moods and feelings ruin everything. There seems to be only a couple of days a month where I am actually turned on amd want to be intimate. What is wrong with me? Smiley Sad 

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Re: Feeling miserable

Hey @mspaceK

 

It sounds like you're going through a tough time Smiley Sad The moods sound difficult to deal with.

 

I just want to say that it is okay to feel like you don't want to be intimate. I feel like it's pretty common for people to go through periods where they want to be intimate more or less than usual. I don't think anything is wrong with you. Perhaps just tell your partner that you feel this way so that he understands...what do you think?

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Re: Feeling miserable

Thanks @Maddy-RO . I did have a chat to him which I think will help. I'm still struggling with motivation though. It's effecting me with eating as well as getting up and doing things each day. 

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Re: Feeling miserable

It's so hard suffering with low motivation @mspaceK I've been feeling very much the same way. There's sooo many things I want to do but most days I'm lucky to get the basics done. What are the main things that you'd like to achieve during the day? 

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Re: Feeling miserable

@Bre-RO I think the first one is getting up at a decent time cause at the moment I keep sleeping in super late and then not being tired at a reasonable bedtime. 

 

The second would be exercise of some sort. I've been couped up in my bedroom playing video games almost all day and everyday and haven't really gotten out of the house much at all. I want to make my body tired so that I can sleep better at night and not be filled with all this energy. 

 

And the other is to feel like I've been productive somehow. So whether that is cooking or cleaning or working on my resume. 

 

I say I want all these things yet somehow I am finding it incredibly hard to start off even do little things without feeling agitated. Smiley Sad It feels hard and it's only making me more frustrated with myself. 

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Re: Feeling miserable

Hey @mspaceK - I can really relate to finding it hard to get out the door to exercise. One thing that I've found has helped me a lot is saving up favourite podcasts that I only listen to when I'm out for a walk or for a run, it's helped me to build up a good association between those and exercising. Sometimes when I really don't want to get out there, I'll try committing to 10 minutes - once I've got started, I usually find that I want to keep on going. I generally find that once I've been getting more exercise my sleep improves too. 

 

Do you think that setting yourself really small goals might be helpful? So, doing the dishes, rather than cleaning the whole kitchen? 

 

And I guess the last thing I would add, is be kind to yourself - we are living in really weird times, and I think it has taken more of a toll on ourselves than we've realised. Some days, things are going to be hard and a bit shitty, and you may not get out of our pjs. Some people may be learning to bake, or learning a new language or whatever in quarantine- but days, a lot of us are just getting through each day, and that is totally okay. 

 

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Re: Feeling miserable

Thanks @Janine-RO . I watched one of these youtube videos I really enjoy while exercising today. That gave me motivation which is great. 

 

Something else has been bothering me though. I keep getting bad anxiety feelings in my chest and I don't know why and it is unpleasant. It feels like something is wrong when there doesn't seem to be any known trigger. It's quite bad tonight. I was tired and went to bed early for a change and yet it has been nearly 2 hours and I still can't sleep. It's frustrating. 

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Re: Feeling miserable

I really like @Janine-RO's tips and I'm glad one of them worked for you (watching the youtube clip). I also exercise in front of the TV during the evening.

 

I've had that happen to me before as well, where I've experienced anxiety symptoms (i.e., chest discomfort) without any real reason for them. I don't know if you're the same but I like to have answers or reasons for such symptoms (or anything in life really), and when I don't it it's an uncomfortable feeling...  I can't say this with any certainty but I'm guessing the current COVID situation, and some of the things you've mentioned in this thread, are probably all contributing to these feeling of anxiety. It might help to think that it will pass.

 

Being unable to sleep is indeed frustrating. What time have you been waking up generally?

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Re: Feeling miserable

@Maddy-RO yeah, the stress of covid and being so out of routine has put me in a lot of anxiety due to uncertainty and not being able to have access to my usual outlets hasn't helped either. I miss sport and going to work and seeing friends and eating out at restaurants. And we don't know how long this will go on for. I felt like I was managing okay though but this random anxiety and sense that something is wrong really gets to me. I haven't been able to get to sleep until 2 nearly 3 am most nights amd I've been getting up and out of bed around midday most days. :/ 

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Re: Feeling miserable

I am sorry to hear that you have been feeling anxious and out of routine @mspaceK Heart Totally normal during this time but it really sucks nonetheless. A lot of us could never imagine the impact that it has had on us. We also don't know how long this is going to go on for which can be such an uneasy feeling to sit with. With that being said, it seems like the restrictions are easing every couple of weeks.. so at least we are heading in the right direction.

I have had similar issues with my sleeping. It can be so difficult because sleep impacts so many areas of your life. Personally, I tried to wake myself up early (early enough to still feel like I can function) so that I am tired enough to sleep that night. Is that something you've tried? You could also have a chat to your GP, they may be able to give you some tips to reset your sleeping pattern.