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I’m really sad and I don’t know why

Its like everything was building up. I’ve recently moved to the city to study and I went out to buy stuff for soup so I could make it for my housemates cause they all have a cold. But I couldn’t find the right meat anywhere I went with hardly any deli’s or butchers and yet there was sushi places everywhere I went. Then, while I was waiting at a bus stop I started tearing up and crying out of no where, a random woman gave my shoulder a rub and said are you ok? Which was nice of her but embarrassing. I don’t know why I felt so incredibly sad at that second. Its like i’m going through a very intense mood swing but i’m not on my period. At that moment I decided to give up on finding the right ingredient and I walked home trying not to cry with my hoodie up, with the groceries I had so far. Now i’m sitting on the floor of my room bawling my eyes out trying not to be too loud so my housemates can’t hear. This is the first time I haven’t been home in a while and I’m not sure if thats what is getting to me or not. I’m from a country town so being in the city is a big change to me and while I thought I was adapting really easy maybe I’m not adapting as easy as I thought. On the way home I just couldn’t stop thinking about how much I miss home and how I wish my housemates were more appreciative of me doing things for them. Walking home crying made me feel even more crap since I felt like I looked so bad. I’m worried about money, I’m worried about my course and if its right for me, I’m worried if I’ll end up where I want to be, just everything feels like it has been building up at not being able to find the right ingredient somehow was the last thing I needed to have a total break down.

Re: I’m really sad and I don’t know why

Hello @anonymousgirl101, it sounds like today has been extremely stressful for you. Just wanted to check how you're going now? Heart

Re: I’m really sad and I don’t know why

Better, mainly because I’ve just been watching netflix for the rest of the day and ordered McDonald’s in. I ended up going to class instead of skipping this afternoon but I wish I skipped cause they made us work in teams and present to the class.

Re: I’m really sad and I don’t know why

Hey @anonymousgirl101 really proud of you for still going to class even though you were lacking motivation. Group work is the worst but hopefully it was a bit of a distraction for you. 

 

With everything going on for you I would recommend trying to journal and seeing if expressing yourself helps you rather than bottling it all up to explode. 

 

Heart 

Re: I’m really sad and I don’t know why

I guess I could do that, wouldn’t really know what to talk about, I feel like I’ve got lots of little worries I don’t want to adress like if even moving here and taking up the course was a good idea. My parents would hate me if they found out I wasn’t even enjoying being here as they’re helping me pay for my accomodation. I worry its not for me but I’m not sure if anything else is anyway. The career it leads to seems most reliable and I think thats one of the reasons I chose it, I don’t necessarily hate the work and if it leads to a job, it seems like a good idea, I guess thats my way of thinking. I didn’t just want to get some pointless degree that’ll lead to no job cause of the lack of jobs out there for the profession. I think it has the potential to be really great, I guess I just have my doubts, and living in such a busy city area where it feels like no one cares and everyone is selfish living their own life, it makes me feel crap sometimes. Like I don’t matter at all, like I’m really insignificant, and I know its not all about me obviously but I just feel so small and like nothing I do matters sometimes here. Cause no one cares, theirs always going to be someone almost exactly like me but better in so many ways. So really, why would anyone need or want to bother with me.

Re: I’m really sad and I don’t know why

Because we care about you @anonymousgirl101.
That must really hurt. I hate being sad for no clear reason. I know that I still deal with it at school. You're not alone. How are you going today?

Re: I’m really sad and I don’t know why

Just been in bed all day so far

Re: I’m really sad and I don’t know why

Hey @anonymousgirl101 , 

Thing sound really heavy for you at the moment - do you have any plans for today? 

Sometimes a day in bed is totally warranted if that's all you've got on today !

 

Being in a big city, studying and living on a small budget is TOUGH. Sorry to hear you don't feel appreciated by your house mates too - making them soup is such a generous and lovely thing to do! 

Have you gotten involved in any communities or fun activities since moving there?  Sometimes that can help to lessen the loneliness - and maybe add some fun back into your routine?

 

Your thoughts about your degree are totally valid ! Wanting to get a job after uni is fair enough  - and getting stead income one day is a great goal to have - there is nothing wrong with pursuing that goal. You can always reassess your work / career options once you've started working full time - you'll have more of an idea then of what you enjoy and where you want to go. And having a degree (any degree!) under your belt is a good way to start. 

 

It sounds like it will be hard to chat to your parents about this - but you might be surprised by their response or ideas. They care about your happiness levels, and it's totally normal to be feeling how you are in your situation. 

There is no shame in being sad, or struggling to adjust to a new stage of life. Heart

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