I'm unhappy with my life and struggling
Hi, I'm 15 if that helps with context. For about a year and a half, I've been feeling really down and it's getting worse. It started when I went to England in September of 2017 with my family to visit my mum's family there and I miss it and my family from there so much. I really hate living in Australia- I miss my UK family and I don't really like the culture or weather, ect. I spend almost all day wishing my parents would move to the UK or Canada (where my dad is from) which I know is a bad way to live but I can't help it. I know they're not but I hate living here and I know I can move after high school but I still want to enjoy life now and I don't want to only see my family every few years and have to start over alone. On top of that, I'm really, really lonely. I was friends with some people that treated me terribly and my friend from primary school said I could come hang out with her and her friends, so eventually, I did that. I thought that at least that part of my life would be better but I still feel so lonely. I'm forever third wheeling her and her best friend and I'm not that close with other people in her 'group'. I did become close with a guy (strictly platonic) but then when we came back to school from the Christmas Holidays he stopped talking to me and when he did he was really rude to me. People kind of "dropping me" has happened a few times. The only texts I receive are from my parents, the only dm's are get are from the only group chat I'm in and the only snap chats I get are streaks. I don't even have a "best friend" on snapchat because no one talks to me and people are constantly unfollowing me on isntagram. That might sound a little shallow but it all comes together to be one big picture I guess. The only person who invites me out anywhere is the primary school friend but I always wonder- 'are you just asking me because your best friend is busy?' The last time she asked me was ages ago anyway like I don't leave the house unless it's with my parents. I haven't had a real friend for almost all my life and it's really lonely not being able to trust anyone or have someone to talk to, ect. Everything's just getting worse. I hate living with this shadow of sadness and wanting a different life over me constantly. Some people have said I just want to move because I'm running away from something but they're separate issues, as much as I would like a fresh start. It's started affecting me physically too I think. I always have this feeling of butterflies in my stomach and over the past 2 days, it's been worse than ever- I can't breathe properly and I feel like my heart is beating faster. I might have anxiety or depression but I don't want to take medication and just move on. I just don't know what to do because I can't make it better- I tried everything I could to make things better. I changed my friendship group, I looked into moving in with my aunt on my own, our family moving, a student exchange programme but I'm still stuck here. I'd do anything to move but I can't and I can't change what people think of me so I don't know what to do. Thanks to anyone who replies 🙂
Comments
Hey @mgues
Welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing. It can be difficult to speak up about these thing so you should be proud of yourself!
It sounds like you're going through a hard time. Feeling lonely is something a lot of teenagers and adults experience. I really liked @peacock's advice about you just being you and the right people will enter and stay in your life eventually.
Have you spoken to a parent, teacher or family member about how you feel? Are you receiving any professional support at the moment? If not, it might be a good idea to contact Kids Helpline. They are a free counselling service - you can receive counselling via telephone or webchat.
Also, we generally ask all new users to read our guidelines here, so that everyone is using the forums correctly.
Thinking of you and thanks again for reaching out!
Hi 🙂 I liked Peacock's advice as well, I should be around the right people for me, I'm just worried about how long I'll have to wait. I tried to talking to a few people; my mum but she didn't really understand and a few live chats on kids helpline but I feel like, maybe it was because of how they're trained to communicate with people, they didn't really help with anything? I checked out the guidelines so thanks for providing them for me 🙂
Hey @mgues, sorry to hear about what you are going through. It can be difficult for people to really get it. Is there anyone that you have talked to that you felt like understood you? I know there are a lot of people here that have dealt with loneliness and problems in their friendships. Everyone can have these feelings at some point in their life.. but sometimes these feelings stick around for a long time which is hard and really sucks. Hopefully they comment soon with some support or you can have a look through the boards to find some threads that relate to you 
Feel free to comment on them once you find them too! You don't always have to go on medication to deal with depression and anxiety. Have you thought of talking to a psychologist before?
Hey, no has really understood me so far... but maybe I will find someone on here going through something similar 🙂 I kinda thought about a therapist but I don't know, I feel like not having friends seems like 'not big enough' reason to see one?
Thanks for commenting 🙂
Hi @mgues,
There are so many understanding people here in the community, I share your hope that you will meet other young people going through something similar We also have a lot of people who come online to read what others are posting, and I am sure that there are young people reading your posts that can also relate and learn from you too 
You mentioned that you have thought about seeing a therapist, but feel like what you would see them for is not big enough. I know this is something that a lot of members here tell us they experience/feel too- you are definitely not alone The fact that you are thinking about taking that step is really courageous- having someone to talk to who is neutral and can work with you through any tough time, including friendships, can be super helpful.
A few members here have tried helplines/webchats first to test the waters with speaking to a counsellor before taking the next step to see someone in person. You mentioned earlier that you have tried some web chats before, did you speak to them about seeing someone in person? There are also many different types of professional supports available depending on what you want from the appointment
ReachOut have some articles you might be interested in about seeking professional help from counsellors here and a video about one of our youth ambassadors and their experience seeing a counsellor
Hi,
It's good to know other people feel this as well, I'll make sure to check out those articles thanks 🙂
And welcome to ReachOut.
I'm a 14 year old, and I completely understand the friendship part of your issue. @Jess1-RO, @Taylor-RO and @peacock gave some really good advice, but I want to let you know myself, that there are definitely others going through something like this. I went through the same friendship problem, except that I don't have social media, and probably won't until I turn 16. But back to the problem...
I find that, if you do the things you love, hobby wise, you're more likely to make friends with people who have the same interests as you. For example, I go to the gym, and participate in performing arts and art type things. I found a friend who loves the same things as me, but she was the friend I had issues with... We're all good now, because friends go through tough times. If you know what I mean..........
Just letting you know, that I'm here for you, and if you need to talk to anyone, I'm usually on everyday. Just tag me. I'll be on ASAP.
You're not alone!
//You are strong, You are beautiful, You are enough//
Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx , it's cool you understand it so well. I've kind of made a friend now but she's meant to be moving schools at the end of the year so 😕 Idk I play hockey and have a few people from there that I'm kind of friends with. Sometimes I just feel so alone which I know so many people feel but like I can kind of 'see' why I'm alone. Like with ppl texting me and stuff I mentioned above. Thanks for being there for me 🙂
Hey @mgues I'm glad you've made a friend! Sucks that she'll be moving at the end of the year 😞
Do you reckon you could spend time with some of the people from hockey outside of training/matches? 🙂
hello @mgues i understand hat moving from one country to another country is really difficult. i myself have come from another country to study here in Australia. you know sometimes it takes really lomg to adjust in a completely different environment. i feel you should just let yourself abit loose. Dont be too hard on yourself. Take it a bit easy try and just explore the area or the city you are staying in. and about your social life. i feel like you should be you. Never change yourself for others. Sometimes wrong people are the ones who enter in our life and just leave us. That means they were never meant to be there in our lives. I know the feeling of loneliness is way too extreme but take it on the bright side. Explore yourself know yourself better when you are alone. For example when i feel confused or nto in my mind i go to places where it gives me a peace of mind to think through what all is going right now in my life and what is happpening and what i need to change. try to do the activities that gives you happiness. that motivates you. i know having friends is something amazing but instead of having people around you who dont want to be with you just let them go. Patience is the key. explore more what if you find a friend is there for you. Moreover the main thing is you have your parents with you. Know for a fact that one can always heal yourself by you and not other person. the world is full of many things is just upon us how we take it. try to relax and be yourself. Everyone is special in their own way and SO ARE YOU. hope this helps
Hi, thanks for replying, especially so quickly and for being so encouraging. I actually already live here I was just visiting the UK 🙂 but how are you finding Australia? You're right about not changing myself- sometimes I find it hard to pretend to be someone else anyway. I want to let go and find people that really like me and I really like but I did that before and I'm in the same place except they don't treat me like trash like the last people did. When people are older, like a relationship has ended or they hate their job they say things like their ready to move on or there's nothing here for them so they move.I'm only 15 but I feel like that's where I'm at. I'm always just so emotionally drained I want a change. Thanks again 🙂
