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Idk what to title this

I’m fostered. When I was younger I went to this family’s house for respite. I still go there but I go the for 3 nights a week. It’s worked out into a shared care arrangement.

this family has a Mum, a dad, and 3 children and one on the way. The dad let’s call him Joshua has been putting me under a lot of pressure. He won’t let me drop maths for year twelve. (I suck at maths and it stresses me out) he is forcing me to get an atar to get into university, I want to go to tafe and then go to uni as a mature aged student and just do an application exam....if I get bad marks in assessment tasks I’m in big trouble. If im stressed he says I can’t be stressed because I need to focus on my school work. I can’t help it if I’m stressed. I’m doing compressed hsc for crying out loud. If there’s one thing I am... it’s stressed. Don’t get me wrong I love josh and the family. They are a second family. But josh just doesn’t understand what I am going through. He is incredibly smart. He went to a grammar school. He got an atar of 92. 

I will never amount to anything as good as him but he won’t acceot hat. He won’t accept that I am not him and I have other things going on.

idk how wto talk to him with out coming of as unappreciative or rude?

any tips?


Re: Idk what to title this

Hi @Jesssister2001,

Your post really resonated with me, and I am really sorry to hear how difficult this has been. It sounds like you have really given good thought to your academic pathways and what could work for you. There are SO many pathways to get to where you want to go and TAFE is a really great pathway.

When I was going through school, like you I experienced that stress and made the decision that an alternative pathway to university study was more appropriate for me and more sustainable with my recovery than sitting the HSC. Getting the school to speak about my options with myself and my family/important people in my life was really helpful to alleviate everyone's concerns and get an agreed path. 

Sometimes meeting with the school advisor/counsellor or curriculum director can be a good start and having a meeting where the school can back your choices may help to reduce the pressure off you to communicate your feelings to Josh by yourself. Have you spoken to anyone at your school?


I'd be really interested to hear from other forum members who have been in the position too and how they have managed having these difficult conversations about education and the stress of final exams. I'll tag a few active members:

@ErinsAntics @lokifish @scared01 @DruidChild @letitgo 


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Re: Idk what to title this

Hey @Jesssister2001

It sounds like you are in a tough situation to be in. I agree with @Jess1-RO about setting up a meeting with your school counsellor, parents and foster parents to discuss how you feel. Adults often listen better to adults and it means you will have backup too. I would also try to explain to Josh that by going to TAFE first it means you get to work out what you want to study at university and you can try different things first. For many people going to TAFE gives them a chance to work out what they really want to study and find their niche. Also a lot of TAFE courses also give you transferable credits to university which is great. Not everyone is going to be academically minded or be able to get an ATAR score of 92. 

I really struggled with exams in school so I did non ATAR and got top marks in those subjects. I then went to TAFE and got my Cert. 3 in Business after working on an off for a few years I am back studying at TAFE getting my Diploma in Community Services (I got my Cert. 4 in Community Services last semester). Uni is always an option for me later but for now TAFE is what I am enjoying.

Remember that as long as you do your best and are where you want to be then you can't go wrong Smiley Happy

Whatever it takes I know I can make it through!

Re: Idk what to title this

hi @Jesssister2001 i dont have much to add to what @Jess1-RO and erinsantics have already said but am happy to support your through this too.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**